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Married folk: what's the best/most surprising aspect of your spouse?

SaltBoy

SaltBoy

Diamond Member
I can't believe it's been almost a month since I've been married. The past month has just flown by...

Anyway, one of the biggest adjustments in a relationship is moving in with each other and learning about all of the bad habits your spouse/SO has that you DIDN'T know about before you decided to get married/move in with each other. That can be a big shock for just about anybody.

Well, what's really surprising is that I haven't yet found any bad habits in my wife at all. In fact, I'm finding more and more good aspects about her -- perhaps the most surprising thing about her that I didn't realize before we were married is that she is such a hard worker. She only has a part time job and isn't going to school (because of summer), but the rest of the time she is busy doing all sorts of needful errands, cleaning up/organizing the apartment, and stuff like that. It's amazing! Rarely does she just sit down and relax -- when she finally does, she plays Civ III for about an hour, or she... umm... does stuff with me. 😉

I got more than I expected when I married my wife, and I'm all the more better for it! 🙂 What's been y'all's experiences?
 
Originally posted by: vi_edit
Call me silly, but isn't it best to know these things BEFORE you get married?
Click to expand...

That's what I was thinking. Pretending for a moment that I actually wanted to get married, I think I would want to live with the person for a few months before I did it.

Of course that's just my opinion, I could be wrong. And probably am since I don't want to get married ever. So I probably don't properly understand the whole idea behind.
 
Originally posted by: vi_edit
Call me silly, but isn't it best to know these things BEFORE you get married?
Click to expand...

It would be nice if we knew EVERYTHING about our spouses before we're married, but it's (IMHO) impossible. Traits and habits that we try to keep hidden in order to impress the ones we love without turning them away from us eventually will turn around and bite us in the butt. 🙂

 
Originally posted by: vi_edit
Call me silly, but isn't it best to know these things BEFORE you get married?
Click to expand...

My uncle once said that that would make marriage boring. Find new things about your spouse after you get married is a great, IMO 🙂
 
SaltBoy,

Congratulations on getting married! Things to know:

1) watch out for increasing expectation. Things that thrill you now will tend to become things that you expect from your spouse. Instead of feeling giddily romantic about some task your spouse performs, you will be angry if they fail to perform that task.

2) understand that current behavior is not necessarily permanent behavior. Your spouse may be doing things specifically to please you and may eventually revert to their true self (which isn't necessarily bad, but just different). I'll give an example. I gave up computer gaming the first year I was married, thinking that it wouldn't please my g/f - spouse. When I went back to it, she didn't even know it was part of my life. I was right. She didn't like it and now she's my ex-spouse (for many other reasons, actually).
 
Originally posted by: Maetryx
SaltBoy,

Congratulations on getting married! Things to know:

1) watch out for increasing expectation. Things that thrill you now will tend to become things that you expect from your spouse. Instead of feeling giddily romantic about some task your spouse performs, you will be angry if they fail to perform that task.
Click to expand...

That's some good, sound advice that I'll keep in mind. Of course, I think the reason why my wife does the things she does is because she's always been like that. I saw a glimmer her work ethic when we were doing wedding preparations, but I didn't think anything of it because it was her WEDDING -- every girl's dream -- and it had to be perfect. Now that the honeymoon is over, she's going at her tasks with the same vigor she did with the wedding preparations. And I KNOW she's not cleaning the bathroom to be romantic. She's doing it 'cause it has to get done. 😉

 
saw a glimmer her work ethic when we were doing wedding preparations, but I didn't think anything of it because it was her WEDDING -- every girl's dream -- and it had to be perfect
Click to expand...

Weddings aren't indicative of work ethic. Weddings are an obsession and women will put every last breath of energy they have to make it perfect. Once the wedding is over, they collapse into a lifeless mass and breath a sigh of relief that it's over.
 
Originally posted by: TitaniumJohnson
Best aspect about my spouse? Hands down: after 9 years, she still swallows. 😀

:Q Did I just say that!?! :Q

😉

TJ out.
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Welcome to Anandtech. Please enjoy what is sure to be a short stay.
rolleye.gif
 
Originally posted by: Maetryx

1) watch out for increasing expectation. Things that thrill you now will tend to become things that you expect from your spouse. Instead of feeling giddily romantic about some task your spouse performs, you will be angry if they fail to perform that task.
Click to expand...

I'll vouch for that one...

My wife used to be the biggest clean freak in the world. It was to the point that I didn't have to worry about doing any housework for myself at all. But after our first child came along almost two years ago, that changed. I found it difficult to change my ways, and it would sometimes make her upset that I didn't help her out as much as I should. I, in turn, would get angry with her that she didn't do what she used to do.

I think I've been able to adjust now for the most part. Some of my friends have even commented on my housekeeping skills... 😱

Originally posted by: TitaniumJohnson

Best aspect about my spouse? Hands down: after 9 years, she still swallows.
Click to expand...

You are either lying... or one lucky guy!
 
Believe it or not, people actually change and grow, so don't expect your spouse to be the same person from decade to decade.

I guess then, the best and most surprising aspect of my spouse is the amazing capacity he has had for growth and change. Not too many people can go through what he has gone through and come out so well-adjusted in the end. He's a true survivor, and I respect that.
 
saltboy...
i'm happy to hear that your working out to be another "happy ever after" story.

as for mine, it took a turn the other way.
i guess it all started from the wedding preparation...
for 600 unwanted guests.

🙁

anyhow... i'm hoping that one day... things will get better.
 
The most surprising thing about my spouse is that after 7 years, and knowing just about anything and everything about me, she still wants to spend the rest of her life with me.
Many times I look at her sleeping, and I realize that I really am the luckiest man who ever lived.

The most surprising thing about me after 7 years of marriage is that I can say something as remarkably sappy as the comments above, and still be so convinced that they are true that I leave them up after reading them and feeling self-conscious. 😉
 
Husband Number One: The fact that he liked men..
Husband Number Two: Inner strength, confidence and backbone.
Which is great because I have a strong personality and he doesn't wilt when I disagree with him.
 
Originally posted by: Rio Rebel
The most surprising thing about my spouse is that after 7 years, and knowing just about anything and everything about me, she still wants to spend the rest of her life with me.

Many times I look at her sleeping, and I realize that I really am the luckiest man who ever lived.
Click to expand...

Now that is the sweetest thing I've read all day !!!! Always thought you were a class act Rio !🙂

You should show your wife this thread 🙂
 
I started dating the girl whom I married when I was 19 and she was 17, now I am 32 and she is 30 and we are married, have 3 kids, and doing excellent relationship wise, never missed a step!!

We actually had all 3 kids for a couple years before we got married, which we got married in '96....


You will know if she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, listen to your gut 😉
 
Originally posted by: vi_edit
Call me silly, but isn't it best to know these things BEFORE you get married?
Click to expand...
In my opinion yeah. By the time we got married we'd known each other for half a decade and lived together for about half of that. We had a total of zero problems afterwards since we'd basically been practicing all along anyway!

---

Riorebel You're such a sweetheart!!!
 
Originally posted by: baffled2
Originally posted by: Rio Rebel
The most surprising thing about my spouse is that after 7 years, and knowing just about anything and everything about me, she still wants to spend the rest of her life with me.

Many times I look at her sleeping, and I realize that I really am the luckiest man who ever lived.
Click to expand...

Now that is the sweetest thing I've read all day !!!! Always thought you were a class act Rio !🙂

You should show your wife this thread 🙂
Click to expand...

She was watching over his shoulder while he wrote that. Why do you think he said it? 😉 😛 😀

Just kidding man!
 
Originally posted by: kassy
Husband Number One: The fact that he liked men..
Husband Number Two: Inner strength, confidence and backbone.
Which is great because I have a strong personality and he doesn't wilt when I disagree with him.
Click to expand...

:Q:Q:Q:Q:Q:Q:Q:Q
 
The most surprising aspect was how she transformed herself into a different person, a person I would fall in love with and want to marry, so she could marry me... and then how over the course of the next two years of our marriage how she reverted into the person she really was... and how she had this "plan" to completely change me into the person she wanted me to be, all while attempting to alienate me from my family by trying to convince me that they were all bad people. When I finally figured out what she had done in the three years we knew each other and how she had all this planned out, I was surprised.


Happy to be woman free since 2001. 🙂
 
Originally posted by: Rio Rebel
The most surprising thing about my spouse is that after 7 years, and knowing just about anything and everything about me, she still wants to spend the rest of her life with me.
Many times I look at her sleeping, and I realize that I really am the luckiest man who ever lived.

The most surprising thing about me after 7 years of marriage is that I can say something as remarkably sappy as the comments above, and still be so convinced that they are true that I leave them up after reading them and feeling self-conscious. 😉
Click to expand...

Now that is how I would imagine a perfect marriage. Good to hear it actually happens. There are one or two girls in my life that when I'm around them, I think that way. But I always think "well, gee, if we were together, this feeling would wear off".
 
What's best -- his personality overall (sincerity, open-mindedness, true gentleness). There are a lot of close seconds, too 😀

What surprises me -- his deep and intricate knowledge of his field. He never boasts or makes a big deal about it, but sometimes when we are talking to someone else he switches into "expert" mode and I am always impressed 🙂
 
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