Married folk: How do you handle your finances?

[StageLeft]

I've come to learn that some people actually get married and one person doesn't know the other's debt load. I find this unusual, but for some reason many people really do not discuss money much with their spouse and they act almost like roomates (split bills, mortgage, etc.).

Then there are people who recommend heartily that you should always have a seperate bank account with your spouse. Mrskoorb and I have a few accounts, but we're joint on all of them. Currently we both have a credit card running off the same account as our primary credit card and, down to $10-20 spenditures, know exactly what the other person has bought and where they sand moneywise (since we stand there together). This has worked very well for us, but who of you have tried this approach and it didn't work, so you split everything...?

 

[FoBoT]

i have been married 14 years and we are old school
we have joint everything, single checking account
i pay all the bills because i am OC (obsessive-compulsive)
i suck at handling money, but am getting better as i get older, i am doing much less compulsive shopping (even in the AT for sale/trade forum ) these days

we don't budget, we live paycheck to paycheck, luckily i have always been good at earning money, so it has mostly worked out ok
we have a couple of CC's that we need to pay off, again, luckily my job pays an annual bonus, so if we have a good year at work , we can wipe those out next summer

 

[Ulfwald]

Wife handles the bills, let's me know exactly what is going on.

I earn it she manages it.

 

[SaltBoy]

I earn the money... she spends it!

No seriously, I do earn most of the money since she's still in school and paying off some of her debts. However, we buy most everything we have together and let each other know whenever we buy something seperately. I take care of the bills after letting her know how much they are. She's not too bad when it comes to her own purchases.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: Ulfwald
Wife handles the bills, let's me know exactly what is going on.

I earn it she manages it.

I pay all the bills because I'm also obsessive over making sure everything is paid on time. Not that mrsskoorb couldn't handle it, but I've never given her a chance to find out!

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: SaltBoy
I earn the money... she spends it!

No seriously, I do earn most of the money since she's still in school and paying off some of her debts. However, we buy most everything we have together and let each other know whenever we buy something seperately. I take care of the bills after letting her know how much they are. She's not too bad when it comes to her own purchases.

Unless it's cellphone usage

 

[MomAndSkoorbaby]

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: Ulfwald
Wife handles the bills, let's me know exactly what is going on.

I earn it she manages it.

I pay all the bills because I'm also obsessive over making sure everything is paid on time. Not that mrsskoorb couldn't handle it, but I've never given her a chance to find out!

HUH? Are you stupid? When we lived on South Park, I did everything....

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: MrsSkoorb

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: Ulfwald
Wife handles the bills, let's me know exactly what is going on.

I earn it she manages it.

I pay all the bills because I'm also obsessive over making sure everything is paid on time. Not that mrsskoorb couldn't handle it, but I've never given her a chance to find out!

HUH? Are you stupid? When we lived on South Park, I did everything....

It was YOUR apartment!

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: MrsSkoorb

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: Ulfwald
Wife handles the bills, let's me know exactly what is going on.

I earn it she manages it.

I pay all the bills because I'm also obsessive over making sure everything is paid on time. Not that mrsskoorb couldn't handle it, but I've never given her a chance to find out!

HUH? Are you stupid? When we lived on South Park, I did everything....

LOL,hold up,lemmie get the popcorn

 

[Tallgeese]

Simple mathematical proof really...

What Mrs. Tallgeese Earns = HERS
What Tallgeese Earns = HERS

This equation only makes sense assuming the following given:

Mrs. Tallgeese = BADASS

If you don't believe the BADASS given, ask MrsSkoorb to relay the Wal-Mart checkout girl story.

 

[MomAndSkoorbaby]

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: MrsSkoorb

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: Ulfwald
Wife handles the bills, let's me know exactly what is going on.

I earn it she manages it.

I pay all the bills because I'm also obsessive over making sure everything is paid on time. Not that mrsskoorb couldn't handle it, but I've never given her a chance to find out!

HUH? Are you stupid? When we lived on South Park, I did everything....

It was YOUR apartment!

Well, you lived there for almost 2 years!

:Q

 

[Tallgeese]

Originally posted by: baffled2

Originally posted by: MrsSkoorb

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: Ulfwald
Wife handles the bills, let's me know exactly what is going on.

I earn it she manages it.

I pay all the bills because I'm also obsessive over making sure everything is paid on time. Not that mrsskoorb couldn't handle it, but I've never given her a chance to find out!

HUH? Are you stupid? When we lived on South Park, I did everything....

LOL,hold up,lemmie get the popcorn

I'll bring the Junior Mints!

 

[kranky]

Money: the number one cause of divorce.

That's because people don't communicate about spending or discuss their goals.

I work with a woman who, when she got married, decided to split the bills. She got the utilities, car payment and some miscellaneous stuff. He got the mortgage and some misc. stuff, which made it an even split. Over time, of course, her bills went up while his (the mortgage) was fixed. After a few years she brought up the inequity and suggested rebalancing the split. His answer: You should have thought of that before, tough. He was so proud that he "outsmarted" her. Two years later, they divorced (for other reasons) but that got the ball rolling.

There's no one-size-fits-all solution. Some couples really do find it OK to keep all finances separate. But I would bet in those cases they are still talking about their goals and their spending habits are compatible. So there is still one "big picture" even if there are separate accounts.

And there are those who figure "I earned it, I'll spend it." That can work also, but in general they aren't saving anything because one person tends to feel "cheated" if one tries to save while the other person is spending everything.

No one should have to account for every last dime. Each person should have some walking-around money.

I pay all the bills and make the investment decisions. She used to be more interested, but over time has lost interest since things have gone well. But even so, we sit down once a year, look at our spending,review where we are compared to our goals, and mutually agree on what the "big picture" should be. I won't let her be in the dark even though she knows she can trust me totally.

We each get a fixed amount from the ATM once a week and that's our discretionary money. So we each have some money we can spend as we wish, but it's a fixed amount. We talk about and agree on the long-term goals and our spending habits. It turns out that we both grew up poor, and if one of us had come from a wealthy background it might have been a lot harder to agree on things.

 

[SaltBoy]

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: SaltBoy
I earn the money... she spends it!

No seriously, I do earn most of the money since she's still in school and paying off some of her debts. However, we buy most everything we have together and let each other know whenever we buy something seperately. I take care of the bills after letting her know how much they are. She's not too bad when it comes to her own purchases.

Unless it's cellphone usage

Ugh... don't remind me.

Hey, Skoorb and MrsSkoorb, NO ARGUING in front of us...

 

[Tallgeese]

Skoorb, take my advice:

Back away VERY slowly...and don't make any sudden movements :Q

 

[Mookow]

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: MrsSkoorb

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: Ulfwald
Wife handles the bills, let's me know exactly what is going on.

I earn it she manages it.

I pay all the bills because I'm also obsessive over making sure everything is paid on time. Not that mrsskoorb couldn't handle it, but I've never given her a chance to find out!

HUH? Are you stupid? When we lived on South Park, I did everything....

It was YOUR apartment!

Lol... this has the potential to get interesting

 

[alm99]

when we were first married(1.5yrs ago) everything was thrown together and we both had a hand in the finances, that didn't work. The the mrs. decided that she wanted to try it, she was overwhelmed with the income to debt ratio. Now I have control over the bills and I am O-C with it. She doesn't like that way, but things get paid. I get the job done and now we are finally ahead of our bills and starting to put away in savings. We have a joint checking, no CCs, and a savings in my name thats gets a deposit every paycheck.

 

[Tallgeese]

Originally posted by: Mookow
LOL... this has the potential to get interesting

At the very least...save it for the meet

 

[Hoober]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
I've come to learn that some people actually get married and one person doesn't know the other's debt load. I find this unusual, but for some reason many people really do not discuss money much with their spouse and they act almost like roomates (split bills, mortgage, etc.).

Then there are people who recommend heartily that you should always have a seperate bank account with your spouse. Mrskoorb and I have a few accounts, but we're joint on all of them. Currently we both have a credit card running off the same account as our primary credit card and, down to $10-20 spenditures, know exactly what the other person has bought and where they sand moneywise (since we stand there together). This has worked very well for us, but who of you have tried this approach and it didn't work, so you split everything...?

The wife and I do the same thing, Skoorb. And so far, it's worked out well.

 

[UltraQuiet]

Originally posted by: MrsSkoorb

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: Ulfwald
Wife handles the bills, let's me know exactly what is going on.

I earn it she manages it.

I pay all the bills because I'm also obsessive over making sure everything is paid on time. Not that mrsskoorb couldn't handle it, but I've never given her a chance to find out!

HUH? Are you stupid? When we lived on South Park, I did everything....

Haha. This is why Mrs. Sohmer doesn't have an account here.

To answer the original question we have a joint checking/savings account and each of us has a seperate account. We also have joint credit cards and she has a couple of her own (not that it matters, I'm still legally responsible for them). Cars, mortgage, mutual funds, etc are all joint. There is no "hidden" money. We both know where all the money is, what the bills are. This is a necessity born of me being deployed for more than half of the 15 years we've known each other.

 

[StageLeft]

You continued to pay the bills, MRSSKOORB, because you started. Now that we have started the most recent apartment together I pay cause I'm the bill-master!!

 

[Geekbabe]

I'm a good earner and will nail down a ton of overtime too whenever I can but when it comes to budgeting and managing.. let's just say my skill base is lacking !

 

[MomAndSkoorbaby]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
You continued to pay the bills, MRSSKOORB, because you started. Now that we have started the most recent apartment together I pay cause I'm the bill-master!!

So long as you know that you "have given me a chance to find out!"

We actually do well together on the issue of money. We both believe the same things and talk everything over.

 

[Tallgeese]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
I'm the bill-master!!

For some strange reason, that strikes me as particularly quote-worthy

 

[Mookow]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
You continued to pay the bills, MRSSKOORB, because you started. Now that we have started the most recent apartment together I pay cause I'm the bill-master!!

[Sports commentator voice-over]
Well, this is the crucial shot... he was in the rough, the question is, will he going to make the fairway, or fall short into the sand trap?
[/Sports commentator voice-over]