Married Couples: Moody Days?

[SuperGroove]

Today was some sort of freak show day. Every woman that I came in contact with, sneered, bickered, evil-eyed, and chewed me out. For what? I have no idea...it just made me think...and bear(or bare?) with me as I'm just a 20 something, know-nothing, year old.

How can you stand living with someone for the rest of your life knowing that there'll be off days? it only seems to get worse as you get older. Passion disappears, and you're relegated to the comfort of not being alone. Sure...there are situations where once your S.O. has left you, you no doubt miss them, but in the 20 something years you might be married...it's just like being roommates with your best friend right? You eventually get sick of them, because of the constant exposure. There's that having affection thing with your spouse and not with your best friend(Unless your best friend is a friend with benefits)...but when those bits and pieces you found attractive start to prune...you're left with the best friend you'd rather never touch sexually, right?

Maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine living with someone day in and day out for the rest of my life. It's days where my wife (assuming some woman is willing to accept my paym...err...proposal) would eventually be cross with me for no reason that would just drive me up the wall. Mood swings I cannot deal with.

But then again...having a roommate/s.o is better than those friday nights at 8:00p.m. where you're the lone soul in the frozen market section at the local supermarket. Not that i've become of age to realize the significance of partaking in that particular situation.

If anything...i just don't want to be alone...and want to get to the point where fulfilling my sexual desires doesn't take up any brain power just thinking about it.

If I dont' make sense...it's the heat.

 

[bananaFish]

I'm too bitter to even comment

 

[SuperGroove]

Originally posted by: bananaFish
I'm too bitter to even comment

if it's something that I said...enlighten me. I'm not trying to say marriage is bad or anything.

 

[bananaFish]

neither am I...I know how you feel though

 

[Siddhartha]

Originally posted by: SuperGroove
Today was some sort of freak show day. Every woman that I came in contact with, sneered, bickered, evil-eyed, and chewed me out. For what? I have no idea...it just made me think...and bear(or bare?) with me as I'm just a 20 something, know-nothing, year old.

How can you stand living with someone for the rest of your life knowing that there'll be off days? it only seems to get worse as you get older. Passion disappears, and you're relegated to the comfort of not being alone. Sure...there are situations where once your S.O. has left you, you no doubt miss them, but in the 20 something years you might be married...it's just like being roommates with your best friend right? You eventually get sick of them, because of the constant exposure. There's that having affection thing with your spouse and not with your best friend(Unless your best friend is a friend with benefits)...but when those bits and pieces you found attractive start to prune...you're left with the best friend you'd rather never touch sexually, right?

Maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine living with someone day in and day out for the rest of my life. It's days where my wife (assuming some woman is willing to accept my paym...err...proposal) would eventually be cross with me for no reason that would just drive me up the wall. Mood swings I cannot deal with.

But then again...having a roommate/s.o is better than those friday nights at 8:00p.m. where you're the lone soul in the frozen market section at the local supermarket. Not that i've become of age to realize the significance of partaking in that particular situation.

If anything...i just don't want to be alone...and want to get to the point where fulfilling my sexual desires doesn't take up any brain power just thinking about it.

If I dont' make sense...it's the heat.

Most people do not like verbal abuse or being with people who do not like them. A lot of people stay in unhappy relationships\marriages because of children, economic and emotional needs.

 

[Acanthus]

Originally posted by: Dr Smooth

Originally posted by: SuperGroove
Today was some sort of freak show day. Every woman that I came in contact with, sneered, bickered, evil-eyed, and chewed me out. For what? I have no idea...it just made me think...and bear(or bare?) with me as I'm just a 20 something, know-nothing, year old.

How can you stand living with someone for the rest of your life knowing that there'll be off days? it only seems to get worse as you get older. Passion disappears, and you're relegated to the comfort of not being alone. Sure...there are situations where once your S.O. has left you, you no doubt miss them, but in the 20 something years you might be married...it's just like being roommates with your best friend right? You eventually get sick of them, because of the constant exposure. There's that having affection thing with your spouse and not with your best friend(Unless your best friend is a friend with benefits)...but when those bits and pieces you found attractive start to prune...you're left with the best friend you'd rather never touch sexually, right?

Maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine living with someone day in and day out for the rest of my life. It's days where my wife (assuming some woman is willing to accept my paym...err...proposal) would eventually be cross with me for no reason that would just drive me up the wall. Mood swings I cannot deal with.

But then again...having a roommate/s.o is better than those friday nights at 8:00p.m. where you're the lone soul in the frozen market section at the local supermarket. Not that i've become of age to realize the significance of partaking in that particular situation.

If anything...i just don't want to be alone...and want to get to the point where fulfilling my sexual desires doesn't take up any brain power just thinking about it.

If I dont' make sense...it's the heat.

Most people do not like verbal abuse or being with people who do not like them. A lot of people stay in unhappy relationships\marriages because of children, economic and emotional needs.

and 50% of the people in the US dont. the divorce rate is insane.

 

[Pliablemoose]

Originally posted by: SuperGroove
Today was some sort of freak show day. Every woman that I came in contact with, sneered, bickered, evil-eyed, and chewed me out. For what? I have no idea...it just made me think...and bear(or bare?) with me as I'm just a 20 something, know-nothing, year old.

How can you stand living with someone for the rest of your life knowing that there'll be off days? it only seems to get worse as you get older. Passion disappears, and you're relegated to the comfort of not being alone. Sure...there are situations where once your S.O. has left you, you no doubt miss them, but in the 20 something years you might be married...it's just like being roommates with your best friend right? You eventually get sick of them, because of the constant exposure. There's that having affection thing with your spouse and not with your best friend(Unless your best friend is a friend with benefits)...but when those bits and pieces you found attractive start to prune...you're left with the best friend you'd rather never touch sexually, right?

Maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine living with someone day in and day out for the rest of my life. It's days where my wife (assuming some woman is willing to accept my paym...err...proposal) would eventually be cross with me for no reason that would just drive me up the wall. Mood swings I cannot deal with.

But then again...having a roommate/s.o is better than those friday nights at 8:00p.m. where you're the lone soul in the frozen market section at the local supermarket. Not that i've become of age to realize the significance of partaking in that particular situation.

If anything...i just don't want to be alone...and want to get to the point where fulfilling my sexual desires doesn't take up any brain power just thinking about it.

If I dont' make sense...it's the heat.

Translation = "I plan to die old & alone surrounded by cats."

 

[The Sauce]

Well, Supergroove, you seem to have summarized my present predicament to a T. Two and 1/2 years, now engaged 6 months, due to get married in October. It is very much not like being roommates with your best friend. Best friends do not require that much attention. They're there to hang out with when you want to but leave you alone when you need to be left alone. With your best friend you can say anything you want and not have to monitor every word that comes out of your mouth - very much not so with any significant other - especially one you are engaged to. When your best friend gets pissed off and yells at you it's funny, when your future wife does it isn't. And things do get old...and you do find yourself looking around...and wondering. And you think, is this really the best thing for me? Especially when things are tough.

Of course I don't have the answer. But I think that at a minimum you need to live with someone for at least 2 years before you make the decision to get married. Then at least you have the database to decide if it is worth it.

 

[guapo337]

if you're skeptical about marrying a woman, then dont do it.

 

[Ornery]

You've lived 20 years with your parents and siblings. How's that working out? Not much different with a spouse.

From what I've experienced, people DO NOT change! You're basically the same person you were 10 years ago, and will be 50 years from now. Same with your wife. Sure, everybody gains knowledge and skills, but inside they have the same personality that just never changes throughout life. It's what makes us all unique. If have an inkling that your GF is selfish and lazy, this will become more apparent after you're married. If selfish, lazy people don't appeal to you, find another GF.

A virtue to one person could be a serious character flaw to another. A darling, quiet girl who would never raise her voice to anyone, could grate on her spouse's nerves for not being assertive enough. You have to couple up with a compatible person or your marriage is screwed from the start.

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: Ornery
You've lived 20 years with your parents and siblings. How's that working out? Not much different with a spouse.

From what I've experienced, people DO NOT change! You're basically the same person you were 10 years ago, and will be 50 years from now. Same with your wife. Sure, everybody gains knowledge and skills, but inside they have the same personality that just never changes throughout life. It's what makes us all unique. If have an inkling that your GF is selfish and lazy, this will become more apparent after you're married. If selfish, lazy people don't appeal to you, find another GF.

A virtue to one person could be a serious character flaw to another. A darling, quiet girl who would never raise her voice to anyone, could grate on her spouse's nerves for not being assertive enough. You have to couple up with a compatible person or your marriage is screwed from the start.

Well said.

However, I do want to add that people CAN change negative traits, but ONLY IF they see them as negative and want to make the effort. It's called 'self improvement', but you it has to come from inside and not the outside.

 

[imported_Papi]

Originally posted by: Dr Smooth

Originally posted by: SuperGroove
Today was some sort of freak show day. Every woman that I came in contact with, sneered, bickered, evil-eyed, and chewed me out. For what? I have no idea...it just made me think...and bear(or bare?) with me as I'm just a 20 something, know-nothing, year old.

How can you stand living with someone for the rest of your life knowing that there'll be off days? it only seems to get worse as you get older. Passion disappears, and you're relegated to the comfort of not being alone. Sure...there are situations where once your S.O. has left you, you no doubt miss them, but in the 20 something years you might be married...it's just like being roommates with your best friend right? You eventually get sick of them, because of the constant exposure. There's that having affection thing with your spouse and not with your best friend(Unless your best friend is a friend with benefits)...but when those bits and pieces you found attractive start to prune...you're left with the best friend you'd rather never touch sexually, right?

Maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine living with someone day in and day out for the rest of my life. It's days where my wife (assuming some woman is willing to accept my paym...err...proposal) would eventually be cross with me for no reason that would just drive me up the wall. Mood swings I cannot deal with.

But then again...having a roommate/s.o is better than those friday nights at 8:00p.m. where you're the lone soul in the frozen market section at the local supermarket. Not that i've become of age to realize the significance of partaking in that particular situation.

If anything...i just don't want to be alone...and want to get to the point where fulfilling my sexual desires doesn't take up any brain power just thinking about it.

If I dont' make sense...it's the heat.

Most people do not like verbal abuse or being with people who do not like them. A lot of people stay in unhappy relationships\marriages because of children, economic and emotional needs.

:frown: yep

 

[jjones]

I don't recommend marriage for people in their 20's. It's okay if you really want to but at that age I was having too much of a good time learning to be a responsible adult. Much better off being single. Later though, my ideas changed and being footloose lost its appeal. I began to seriously contemplate settling down and finally married at the age of 35. I think at that age you're more inclined to know yourself and the type of partner you want.

As for getting worse as you get older, I think that unless you have a marriage that is a total failure, you will discover that it gets better as you get older. Regarding sex, if you can't see yourself boinking your wife into old age, then by all means, don't get married. What's the point? Just to live a miserable life with someone so you don't die old and alone? I'd rather die old and alone.

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Marriage is just like everything else. You have your good days, and your bad days. Communication and learning are the keys to getting along better rather than worse.

 

[Tinkerhell]

The reason you may feel this way is because you haven't met "the one" yet. I believe that everyone has a soulmate out there and they just have to find them. If you get married to somone who isn't your soulmate of course you're going to end up being miserable. But once you find the one, your perspective will change. When you find the one, you couldn't imagine a day without them and you want to spend the rest of your life with them. But even soulmates will have fights and "moody days" but thats life and if your a strong couple and you really love eachother you will be able to get through anything.

 

[Freejack2]

I've only been married for a couple of years but so far it's been good. We have our arguments and whatnot but on the whole it's been a great marriage.

Can someone who has been married for 10 or more years pipe in and tell us how it's been for them?

 

[NogginBoink]

Originally posted by: yamahaXS
Marriage is just like everything else. You have your good days, and your bad days. Communication and learning are the keys to getting along better rather than worse.

That, and a partner who understands when you say, "Hon, I love you, but I really need to get away from you right now because I'm getting cabin fever and you're grating on me. I'll be back in a few hours."

Which I feel comfortable saying because I know she's probably thinking the same about me!

(The applicability of this theory to being married is conjecture on my part. I'm engaged to her, not married yet.)

 

[SuperGroove]

Originally posted by: NogginBoink

Originally posted by: yamahaXS
Marriage is just like everything else. You have your good days, and your bad days. Communication and learning are the keys to getting along better rather than worse.

That, and a partner who understands when you say, "Hon, I love you, but I really need to get away from you right now because I'm getting cabin fever and you're grating on me. I'll be back in a few hours."

Which I feel comfortable saying because I know she's probably thinking the same about me!

(The applicability of this theory to being married is conjecture on my part. I'm engaged to her, not married yet.)

other than PliableMoose' more likely scenario for myself (sans the cats), i like what i've heard I think I just make a huge deal about those that I date not liking me as much as they did initially. Never had the l word thrown around. Never been someone whom I found sexually attractive as the main reason for dating them. Always plain girls who grow on me.

maybe my problem is that I settle for less...and get disappointed in the end when I just want a little bit more.

 

[Pliablemoose]

Originally posted by: SuperGroove

Originally posted by: NogginBoink

Originally posted by: yamahaXS
Marriage is just like everything else. You have your good days, and your bad days. Communication and learning are the keys to getting along better rather than worse.

That, and a partner who understands when you say, "Hon, I love you, but I really need to get away from you right now because I'm getting cabin fever and you're grating on me. I'll be back in a few hours."

Which I feel comfortable saying because I know she's probably thinking the same about me!

(The applicability of this theory to being married is conjecture on my part. I'm engaged to her, not married yet.)

other than PliableMoose' more likely scenario for myself (sans the cats), i like what i've heard I think I just make a huge deal about those that I date not liking me as much as they did initially. Never had the l word thrown around. Never been someone whom I found sexually attractive as the main reason for dating them. Always plain girls who grow on me.

maybe my problem is that I settle for less...and get disappointed in the end when I just want a little bit more.

Sorry about the cat comment, I like jjones comment about getting married in one's 20's.

Many people successfully pull it off, but I thank god (I'm not particularly religeous either) I didn't marry anyone I boinked in my 20's, it was hard enough keeping my sh1t together in my 30's...