"Marriage is for white people"

[TheoPetro]

Originally posted by: Arkitech
I can't comment on the entire black community but in my little circle of friends and family there are quite a few happily married couples with children. In fact my wife and I are coming up on our 9th wedding anniversary.

When I hear statements like "marriage is for white people" and they come from the mouth of some ignorant black kid it makes me cringe. I can't help but to wonder how the hell did the black community get into the state that it is. It's really hard to look around and see so many people of your own race going backwards instead of progressing, sometimes I feel as if I should get involved in some kind of social work to help the young ones develop a more positive and realistic outlook of life.

*sigh*

the black community needs to hear this from their own. some white guy (or middle class black guy) telling poor blacks the importance of marriage will do nothing. to actually have any kind of influence on someone you need to be on the same level as they are socialy and economicaly.

 

[gigapet]

Originally posted by: ggnl

Originally posted by: gigapet
the problem is there is absolutely nothing in it for the guy anymore

Like a domestic slave?

What's changed about it?

Go watch some tv shows from the 50's and 60's alot has changed.

 

[gigapet]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: gigapet
the problem is there is absolutely nothing in it for the guy anymore

Why buy the cow, right?... :roll:

How about emotional support and a lifelong friendship and intimacy you can't get without that level of commitment? But most people nowadays are okay with not having that, so your reasoning is a valid statement.

your implying you need marriage to make that connection. I don't believe that.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: gigapet
the problem is there is absolutely nothing in it for the guy anymore

Why buy the cow, right?... :roll:

How about emotional support and a lifelong friendship and intimacy you can't get without that level of commitment? But most people nowadays are okay with not having that, so your reasoning is a valid statement.

your implying you need marriage to make that connection. I don't believe that.

It is incredibly hard if not impossible to build a connection that is not based on that leaped forward in commitment. Intimacy grows with level of commitment. True, you can be intimate to a degree with your girlfriend, but not the same level as someone you have pledged the rest of your life to.

 

[Jack Ryan]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: gigapet
the problem is there is absolutely nothing in it for the guy anymore

Why buy the cow, right?... :roll:

How about emotional support and a lifelong friendship and intimacy you can't get without that level of commitment? But most people nowadays are okay with not having that, so your reasoning is a valid statement.

your implying you need marriage to make that connection. I don't believe that.

It is incredibly hard if not impossible to build a connection that is not based on that leaped forward in commitment. Intimacy grows with level of commitment. True, you can be intimate to a degree with your girlfriend, but not the same level as someone you have pledged the rest of your life to.

:thumbsup:

 

[gigapet]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: gigapet
the problem is there is absolutely nothing in it for the guy anymore

Why buy the cow, right?... :roll:

How about emotional support and a lifelong friendship and intimacy you can't get without that level of commitment? But most people nowadays are okay with not having that, so your reasoning is a valid statement.

your implying you need marriage to make that connection. I don't believe that.

It is incredibly hard if not impossible to build a connection that is not based on that leaped forward in commitment. Intimacy grows with level of commitment. True, you can be intimate to a degree with your girlfriend, but not the same level as someone you have pledged the rest of your life to.

why can't you pledge your life to someone on your own why must it be signed by the "state"

 

[Jack Ryan]

Marriage is more than a piece of paper. If that is all it is to you, then I hope you enjoy your life as a bachelor. I don't care if you get married or not. Just don't knock it when you really have no clue.

 

[farmercal]

Well that explains why I'm married! I'm white. I should have known it was color of my skin that kept me married for all these years but I just didn't put two and two together.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: gigapet
the problem is there is absolutely nothing in it for the guy anymore

Why buy the cow, right?... :roll:

How about emotional support and a lifelong friendship and intimacy you can't get without that level of commitment? But most people nowadays are okay with not having that, so your reasoning is a valid statement.

your implying you need marriage to make that connection. I don't believe that.

It is incredibly hard if not impossible to build a connection that is not based on that leaped forward in commitment. Intimacy grows with level of commitment. True, you can be intimate to a degree with your girlfriend, but not the same level as someone you have pledged the rest of your life to.

why can't you pledge your life to someone on your own why must it be signed by the "state"

I don't see any reason why you would have to, but the more that level of commitment is recognized by people, the more weight that level of commitment has.

So a wedding in front of friends and family, who can validate and keep you accountable is the one thing that adds weight to it. But being recognized by society (state) adds more validity and weight to the commitment.

In actuallity, a marriage pact, covenant, promise is between you, the girl, and if you are religious, G-d. But nowadays, a promise or contract like that doesn't hold much weight because a man's word isn't worth much anymore. And there is nothing to hold you accountable to that pact if you rescind on it, if society and witnesses to that pact are taken out of the equations. Sad, but true.

 

[PingSpike]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: gigapet
the problem is there is absolutely nothing in it for the guy anymore

Why buy the cow, right?... :roll:

How about emotional support and a lifelong friendship and intimacy you can't get without that level of commitment? But most people nowadays are okay with not having that, so your reasoning is a valid statement.

your implying you need marriage to make that connection. I don't believe that.

It is incredibly hard if not impossible to build a connection that is not based on that leaped forward in commitment. Intimacy grows with level of commitment. True, you can be intimate to a degree with your girlfriend, but not the same level as someone you have pledged the rest of your life to.

I disagree.

Marriage is just a word unless you make it more. With a %50 divorce rate in this country, its not like the promise to spend the rest of your lives together really means much anymore, at least not to a lot of people. The state sanctioning a relationship isn't some sort of magic bullet thats going to make one relationship work while another one fails.

You make it sound like its impossible to have an intimate relationship with some one with out a gold ring on your finger. Does that make any logical sense? Why couldn't some one make the promise outside of a marriage? Is a couple stranded on a desert island never going to be able to acheive the level of love some couple that have known eachother for 2 weeks and got married in a vegas chapel experiences?

 

[PingSpike]

Originally posted by: DaShen
In actuallity, a marriage pact, covenant, promise is between you, the girl, and if you are religious, G-d. But nowadays, a promise or contract like that doesn't hold much weight because a man's word isn't worth much anymore. And there is nothing to hold you accountable to that pact if you rescind on it, if society and witnesses to that pact are taken out of the equations. Sad, but true.

Is it really a promise if the measures of society and tradition, rather then your own will and desire force you to keep it?

 

[Conky]

My gf wants to be married but she is not especially religious. We don't want kids either although we both agree that if she were to become pregnant accidentally that we would not kill/abort it.

I am of the opinion that we shouldn't have to make our relationship "certified". I love her, want to be with her forever and all that shiznit, but why do I have to go stand in a church or swear it in front of a government official. What's wrong with "common law" marriage? :laugh: