This has got me real messed up I'm a wreck. I don't even get like this when friends die honestly.
It's crazy. I woke up this morning and saw him lieing there having a real hard time breathing. You know how you can just tell. His health declined like crazy over the last 2 weeks.
So anyways I wake up and see him, try to get him up and he lifted his head but it was like falling to the side. Sh!ts got me so fvcked up right now. Watching that last struggle.
So I told my mom this was it you know? I said "He's in bad shape, he's dieing." My little brother came down and the vets wasn't open yet. I'm the only grown up dude in the house so I'm sitting with him. When it was time to go to the vet he was on his way out. I didn't wanna let my mom and brother see him like that, with his body failing and sh!t man. So I shut the door on them.
Man I didn't know what to do, if I should turn him one way so he could breath better, was I makin it worse? But the two times I helped him adjust he was lifeless. Warm but he had nothing. It was such a broken sight. Sh!t by the end I wanted to put him out myself or put myself out before him.
So I just sat there slumped over him like a fvckin 5 year lookin into his eyes and talkin to him while rubbing his head and getting the hair outta his eyes. He must have been laying like that forever before I woke up, just silently fighting on my bedroom floor.
I didn't wanna act wierd you know? Just console him on his way out but it was so fvcked up. So I bucked up and held him on his way out man. Layed next to him for that physical contact you know? When a dog lays near your feet and takes comfort in that simple physical contact. I loved that dog honestly. It was like holding a family member. He was so helpless and lookin at me like "I'm trying."
It was crazy, the loneliest sh!ttiest day of my life to date. Just being in my room alone with him with mom and the little brother in the kitchen waiting.
I wanted to get to the hospital so they can put him to sleep but I knew he was just gonna go out in the car by himself in the back seat uncomfortable looking at the car door you know?
The sh!t that broke my heart was when my mother told the vet to keep his bed for him you know? Man he went down fighting but fvck if he didn't go down with me.,
I have broken my neck and back in a car wreck, lost friends and family etc. but this has been hands down the hardest 30 minutes of my life to date.
It's crazy. I woke up this morning and saw him lieing there having a real hard time breathing. You know how you can just tell. His health declined like crazy over the last 2 weeks.
So anyways I wake up and see him, try to get him up and he lifted his head but it was like falling to the side. Sh!ts got me so fvcked up right now. Watching that last struggle.
So I told my mom this was it you know? I said "He's in bad shape, he's dieing." My little brother came down and the vets wasn't open yet. I'm the only grown up dude in the house so I'm sitting with him. When it was time to go to the vet he was on his way out. I didn't wanna let my mom and brother see him like that, with his body failing and sh!t man. So I shut the door on them.
Man I didn't know what to do, if I should turn him one way so he could breath better, was I makin it worse? But the two times I helped him adjust he was lifeless. Warm but he had nothing. It was such a broken sight. Sh!t by the end I wanted to put him out myself or put myself out before him.
So I just sat there slumped over him like a fvckin 5 year lookin into his eyes and talkin to him while rubbing his head and getting the hair outta his eyes. He must have been laying like that forever before I woke up, just silently fighting on my bedroom floor.
I didn't wanna act wierd you know? Just console him on his way out but it was so fvcked up. So I bucked up and held him on his way out man. Layed next to him for that physical contact you know? When a dog lays near your feet and takes comfort in that simple physical contact. I loved that dog honestly. It was like holding a family member. He was so helpless and lookin at me like "I'm trying."
It was crazy, the loneliest sh!ttiest day of my life to date. Just being in my room alone with him with mom and the little brother in the kitchen waiting.
I wanted to get to the hospital so they can put him to sleep but I knew he was just gonna go out in the car by himself in the back seat uncomfortable looking at the car door you know?
The sh!t that broke my heart was when my mother told the vet to keep his bed for him you know? Man he went down fighting but fvck if he didn't go down with me.,
I have broken my neck and back in a car wreck, lost friends and family etc. but this has been hands down the hardest 30 minutes of my life to date.
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