Man dies after ingesting 10 lbs of bacon rectally

Hezkezl

Member
Aug 30, 2012
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http://www.modernprimate.com/man-ingests-10-lbs-of-bacon-rectally-dies/

An attempt at viral fame ended in tragedy Monday when a 22 year-old social media intern took his love of internet humor too far.
Joshua Flaherty of New Brunswick, NJ passed away at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital late Monday night due to Sepsis, a bacterial infection resulting from a gastrointestinal perforation, following the rectal insertion of precisely 10 pounds of hickory smoked bacon.
“Josh had a really big heart, and he just loved giving people what they wanted,” said Flaherty’s mother Linda. “When he told me about the project, I thought to myself, Josh is a smart kid and he’s made good at this Internet thing so far. What could go wrong?”


Not everyone who knew Joshua was so confident of his abilities.
“I blame Reddit,” stated Sheila, childhood friend and next door neighbor of the Flahertys. “Every time someone posts something with bacon on it, people act like it’s the greatest thing, like they’ve never seen obscene amounts of bacon before. It’s like, look, I get it. Bacon is good. That’s objectively true. No one is saying that it isn’t. It’s just that there’s no need to fake an orgasm every time someone posts a picture of bacon. But with Josh… you just couldn’t tell him when enough was enough. As long as the Internet patronizes this kind of behavior, showering people with upvotes for bacon, people like [Joshua] will take it to new extremes.”
Another friend who wishes to remain anonymous out of fear of retaliation from other message board members had this to say:
“Before going through with it, Josh confided in me that he didn’t even really like bacon that much. He said that if he had to choose between bacon and Werther’s Originals, he’d take the Werther’s. But what Josh really loved was internet memes. So in a sense, he loved the idea of bacon, and the Internet’s obsession with bacon, more than life itself.”
While obsessive bacon fandom is common on websites like Reddit, the practice isn’t exclusive to the web. The 1994 sketch comedy show The State famously featured a bit in which Robert Ben Garant stated “I eat bacon every day,” before donning a dress made of bacon, ending in a musical number about bacon.
..... Dude didn't even like Bacon. What the?

Sad thing is, is I randomly remember coming across one of his stupid videos somewhere else. Didn't seem like the 'sharpest tool in the shed' kind of kid. I guess this proves it :(
 

OverVolt

Lifer
Aug 31, 2002
14,278
89
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He shouldn't have used crispy bacon.

due to Sepsis, a bacterial infection resulting from a gastrointestinal perforation

I dunno how someone can self-inflict bowel perforation. He should have stopped with his stunt if it caused too much pain.
 

Hezkezl

Member
Aug 30, 2012
28
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0
He shouldn't have used crispy bacon.



I dunno how someone can self-inflict bowel perforation. He should have stopped with his stunt if it caused too much pain.

Personally.. I draw the line at any kind of 'stunt' that involves sticking something up my ass. "Hey Hez, remember that time you shoved blahblah up your ass? THAT WAS FUNNY" never seems like a good idea..
 

OverVolt

Lifer
Aug 31, 2002
14,278
89
91
I've heard of this guy before tho. What do you know, hipster manchild caves to social pressure and rectally kills self with 10lbs of hickory smoked bacon.

...Typical actually :p
 

thestrangebrew1

Diamond Member
Dec 7, 2011
4,016
725
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“I blame Reddit,” stated Sheila..." As long as the Internet patronizes this kind of behavior, showering people with upvotes for bacon, people like [Joshua] will take it to new extremes.”

The stunt was stupid, and his friend is stupid. "I blame Reddit" pfff...
 

MrColin

Platinum Member
May 21, 2003
2,403
3
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He should have eaten the bacon. Wasted totally good bacon.

Between the smoke flavor and the preservatives I'm sure it will still taste good. I swear I heard about this over six months ago. Are we sure this refers to the first rectal bacon fatality.

"Social Media Intern" = should probably kill self anyway.
 

OverVolt

Lifer
Aug 31, 2002
14,278
89
91
“I blame Reddit,” stated Sheila..." As long as the Internet patronizes this kind of behavior, showering people with upvotes for bacon, people like [Joshua] will take it to new extremes.”

The stunt was stupid, and his friend is stupid. "I blame Reddit" pfff...

"The internet made me do it" says 22 year old spineless man.

Would make a good onion article.
 

MontyAC

Diamond Member
Feb 28, 2004
4,112
1
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Between the smoke flavor and the preservatives I'm sure it will still taste good. I swear I heard about this over six months ago. Are we sure this refers to the first rectal bacon fatality.

"Social Media Intern" = should probably kill self anyway.


They can probably try to resell the bacon. Just put a comment "has never been touch by a human mouth." :D