Man arrested for allegedly getting it on with a picnic table

[Random Variable]

An Ohio man is charged with four counts of public indecency after he admitted to having sex with his patio picnic table. Authorities in Huron County, Ohio say 40-year-old Art Price Junior confessed to repeatedly having sex with the table between January and March of this year.

Police in Bellevue, Ohio were tipped off, after someone anonymously taped one of the incidents then gave the recording to police. According to police, Price admitted that he had sex with the picnic table both inside and outside his home.

He is free on a $20,000 bond.

Picnic Sex Man

 

[Colt45]

how does that work, exactly?

 

[Mikey]

I hope he wore a condom...

 

[Ika]

Last time I looked, a picnic table doesn't exactly look like a vagina.

 

[TallBill]

Whatever gets his jollies off.

 

[Omegachi]

Originally posted by: Mikey
I hope he wore a condom...

a lot of lube?...?

 

[AznAnarchy99]

Thats so wrong. They wouldnt have done anything if he had sex on the picnic table.

 

[Xylitol]

He probably needed some blister cream

 

[IEC]

WTF? I'm even more WTF at the person who taped it...

 

[ppdes]

Table was probably below the age of consent.

 

[EarthwormJim]

Maybe the table had a tube that would normally hold an umbrella?

Must have been the legs though, weren't table cloths invented to keep men from looking at table legs?

 

[imported_Devine]

kinky :evil:

 

[George P Burdell]

What about splinters?

 

[Eli]

Originally posted by: Colt45
how does that work, exactly?

Knothole? :Q

 

[ric1287]

i hope he was doing this out in the open somehwere, cause if it was in his own home who the fuck cares what some nutjob does

 

[goog40]

$20,000 bond sounds kind of hefty for the crime. Are they afraid he'll make a run for it and go on a cross-country table-raping spree?

 

[Squisher]

Well, if he takes it out to dinner he'll already have a place to sit. Although, a movie might be a little awkward.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Weird. I heard he was completely naked and doing it with the metal hole on top of the table for the umbrella. Supposedly, the guy's house is right next to a school.

Oh, he's also married with three school age kids.

 

[PottedMeat]

Whats the saying?

You can spend your life building bridges and few will ever remember you as a bridge builder. Fuck just one picnic table and you're known everywhere as the picnic table fucker.

 

[paulxcook]

Originally posted by: PottedMeat
Whats the saying?

You can spend your life building bridges and few will ever remember you as a bridge builder. Fuck just one picnic table and you're known everywhere as the picnic table fucker.

It's great how relevant those old Chinese proverbs are even today.

 

[BoomerD]

:music: Gimme the beat boys and free my soul,
I wanna get lost in that little knot-hole and drift away-ay :music:

:music: SPLINTERS, nothing more than splinters...:music:


I wonder if the guy mis-understood the concept of fucking when you are "bored."

 

[Capt Caveman]

http://www.fox19.com/Global/st...S=8083860&nav=menu63_2

(BELLEVUE, OH) -- Police say a man in Bellevue, Ohio was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.

Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.

The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole in the umbrella to have sex.

The most recent instance took place March 14, we're told. A neighbor videotaped Price.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table," Johnson says.

Police say Price admitted to the crimes -- four charges of public indecency. Usually these sorts of things are misdemeanors, but in this case, they are felonies.

"What boosts it up to a felony is that the statute says if it's likely to be viewed by a minor," Johnson explains.

The Price family did not want to talk with us, but neighbors did. Some are not happy Price was released on his own recognizance.

"He shouldn't be allowed just for the fact that he could do that again -- and nude that close to a school. That should be zero tolerance," says Brice Jacobs, a neighbor.

Price is married with three school-aged children. Neighbors tell us they're now worried about the kids.

"Hopefully it stays between the adults and the kids don't get a lot of the information so they aren't so cruel to the little kids," says Emily Grote, a neighbor.

This case has police in this small town shaking their heads. "Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around," Johnson says.

 

[Iron Woode]

defendant: "it was consensual sex, your Honor. Allow me to demonstrate."

 

[wwswimming]

Originally posted by: goog40
$20,000 bond sounds kind of hefty for the crime. Are they afraid he'll make a run for it and go on a cross-country table-raping spree?

he's already demonstrated inventiveness, dogged persistence,
and an ability to rise to the occasion. maybe Bush will appoint
him Head of FEMA.

4 times ?! what will he do with the fold down table on the
airplane ?

 

[Snapster]

Price admitted that he had sex with the picnic table both inside and outside his home

The adventurous type!