Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future

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ericlp

ericlp

Diamond Member
Dec 24, 2000
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http://crave.cnet.co.uk/gadgets/0,39029552,49305387,00.htm

The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.


Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

I've always wondered who amongst us in our little group might be heading down this path? I find this news a bit funny and sad all at the same time! However I am glad they got the collider up and running. :) I think it will advance science and the human race one step closer to understanding ourselves and the universe. Got to hand it to this guy for not bringing a gun and violence to the table.
 
Last edited:
PJABBER

PJABBER

Diamond Member
Feb 8, 2001
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My first thought was that Moonbeam was at it again. But, I think too much.
 
B

BigDH01

Golden Member
Jul 8, 2005
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ericlp said:
http://crave.cnet.co.uk/gadgets/0,39029552,49305387,00.htm

The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.


Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

I've always wondered who amongst us in our little group might be heading down this path? I find this news a bit funny and sad all at the same time! However I am glad they got the collider up and running. :) I think it will advance science and the human race one step closer to understanding ourselves and the universe. Got to hand it to this guy for not bringing a gun and violence to the table.
Click to expand...

The date of the article is April 1st.
 
Lemon law

Lemon law

Lifer
Nov 6, 2005
20,984
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Mr. Cole sez, "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

And thus Mr. Cole is the enemy of every childhood fantasy I ever had, unlimited Kits-Kats
for everyone, what idiot could possibly be against that agenda?

We are talking a combination of the the Garden Eden, Candy land , and the big Rock Candy Mountain all wrapped up in gift wrapping.

Mr Cole is the Grinch.
 
Lanyap

Lanyap

Elite Member
Dec 23, 2000
8,266
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I'm from the future too but I'm not supposed to tell anyone. I already went back to 1986 and bought a bunch of Microsoft IPO. Now I have billions. Next time you see a current picture of Bill just look to his left and that will be me.
 
UberNeuman

UberNeuman

Lifer
Nov 4, 1999
16,937
3,087
126
ericlp said:
Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.
Click to expand...

doc-brown.jpg

"I needed fuel for Mr. Fusion!"
 
Hayabusa Rider

Hayabusa Rider

Admin Emeritus & Elite Member
Jan 26, 2000
50,879
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Based on the general downtrend in human critical thinking I'd say his is a plausible future. Kit-Kats will be a future entitlement.
 
zsdersw

zsdersw

Lifer
Oct 29, 2003
10,505
2
0
"Oh, the almighty Temporal Prime Directive. Take my advice - it's less of a headache if you just ignore it."
 
dainthomas

dainthomas

Lifer
Dec 7, 2004
14,916
3,896
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Silence Earthling! My name is Darth Vader. I am an extraterrestrial from the planet Vulcan!
 
Siddhartha

Siddhartha

Lifer
Oct 17, 1999
12,505
3
81
ericlp said:
http://crave.cnet.co.uk/gadgets/0,39029552,49305387,00.htm

The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.


Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

I've always wondered who amongst us in our little group might be heading down this path? I find this news a bit funny and sad all at the same time! However I am glad they got the collider up and running. :) I think it will advance science and the human race one step closer to understanding ourselves and the universe. Got to hand it to this guy for not bringing a gun and violence to the table.
Click to expand...

I am sure I either have seen this movie or read the book.
 
Throckmorton

Throckmorton

Lifer
Aug 23, 2007
16,829
3
0
If it weren't for the Kit Kat line I would have believed it. This kind of thing has happened before
 
eits

eits

Lifer
Jun 4, 2005
25,015
3
81
www.integratedssr.com
ericlp said:
http://crave.cnet.co.uk/gadgets/0,39029552,49305387,00.htm

The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.


Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

I've always wondered who amongst us in our little group might be heading down this path? I find this news a bit funny and sad all at the same time! However I am glad they got the collider up and running. :) I think it will advance science and the human race one step closer to understanding ourselves and the universe. Got to hand it to this guy for not bringing a gun and violence to the table.
Click to expand...

lol that cracked me up
 
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