Making Sense of the News
There have been a lot of news tidbits doled out over the past few days. But what does it all mean? How do you read between the lines? Ok maybe this will help...
There have been a lot of news tidbits doled out over the past few days. But what does it all mean? How do you read between the lines? Ok maybe this will help...
- NATO planes patrol the US Coast.
<< Last time the British Navy patrolled our coast it worked SO well for us. >>
- Possible Anthrax plot in Florida, linked to a suspicious envelope.
<< And you thought chain letters were harmless. >>
- The US Economy is still in trouble.
<< Buy American. That is, if you can find any that isn't made in Mexico. >>
- Airlines tighten security; FAA issues new safety directives.
<< The "Just Say 'No' to Hijaacking" campaign is working great. >>
- The Emmys are cancelled.
<< "Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place" is cruelly denied its night of glory. >>
- Terrorist warn of future attacks.
<< Mariah will be doing a sequel to _Glitter_. >>
- Shark attacks!
<< New Coast Guard safety program will help by forcing them to answer questions like "Did you pack your own bags?" >>
- Crop duster missing.
<< Did we look in the last place we left it? >>
- NYC under lock down.
<< Wilding gangs in Central Park will be limited to two brutal muggings per day. >>
- National Health Service ready for possible biological threat.
<< Walmart was out of broad-spectrum antibiotics; will a box of band-aids and a copy of "Chicken Soup for the Soul" do? >>
- Airstrikes on Afghanistan continue.
<< We'll get you next time, Bin Laden, and your little dog Toto too! >>
- Pakistan offers full support to coalition initiatives.
<< Worldwide discount on slurpees. >>
- Israel pledges not to interfere.
<< But can we bomb one more neighborhood before bed Daddy, huh can we? >>
- China offers Bush their support.
<< We'll take "Taiwan" for $500, Alex. >>
- Ashcroft asks for expanded legal authority.
<< All I need is an oak tree, some rope, and a fine bunch of men... >>
- Goverment tightens restrictions on "Hazardous Materials" transport license.
<< Makers of Cheez-Whiz panic. >>
- Council of clerics meets again in Pakistan.
<< Council of Fighter's and Magic-User's cries Foul! >>
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