Making a relationship work... catholic + non-religious

[BigToquex]

I am not religious at all. My girlfriend is catholic.

When the topic of kids comes into the picture, she says she wants to raise them as catholics.

For the most part, I don't think this is such a huge deal. I mean, it will be good for them to be exposed to religion. In the end, they do make a choice in what they believe.

Two of the things I dislike (these are only 2 specific things I know of, so there could be more later), deal with sex before marriage and masturbation. In the catholic religion, both of these are sins.

I never ever want my kids to feel ashamed or feel like what they are doing is wrong, if either of these things happen.

I mean, with masturbation, everyone does it (well those that aren't affraid of it). It is a natural thing. I dont want my kid to not know his own body and end up being some 2-pump chump.

With sex before marriage, I mean I wont really want my kids having sex too early, but I think the "no sex before marriage" thing is totally bunk. Sex is something you share with someone you love. It is the most intimate thing you can do with someone.

Right now these are really the only two things I can think of.

I really want things to work out, but how can I deal with these issues and any others that may arise? We can't be giving the kids 2 different messages. What do you guys think?

Wait, another one is thinking that being homosexual is wrong.

 

[AreaCode707]

As a Christian, I don't date outside my religion because I think there are so many conflicts in belief that it makes things extraordinarily difficult. I also feel that one of the most important parts of my life (my spirituality) would be something that the other person couldn't share.

At the very least, that no-sex-before-marriage thing is a VERY big deal to any church you'll go too, and it's not like you'll be able to raise them as practicing Catholics and make that an exception. Socially it would cause them all sorts of problems within the church, and would be a point of great concern for all the church leaders.

I think you really have to choose one or the other, because religion is something that needs to be whole-hearted.

 

[NogginBoink]

I think you two have a LOT of talking to do. These differences must be reconciled before you get married or your relationship is probably bound to fail.

This isn't sounding to me like the basis for a successful relationship. I know that I (a Catholic) could not be in a serious relationship with someone who's not religious.

Before you throw in the towel, though, don't go on the Catholic church's teachings, ask your g/f what HER thoughts are.

 

[datalink7]

My Mom is a Catholic, my Dad is a Atheist.

They were 21 years married. Just got divorced, but it had nothing to do with religion.

It can work, if you are willing to work together on it and respect each others beliefs. Remember, a relationship is give and take. If you aren't willing to give (both parties), it won't work. If you both are, and you both love each other, it is certainly possible.

 

[Koing]

I'm a Christian and my gf is a Hindu. I just tell her the kids are going to be Chrisitans ...j/k

Well talk to her and see how she is willing to discuss the issues.

The issues about sex before marriage probably isn't an issue. Your kids will probably have sex before marriage anyway.

The masturbation thing won't be an issue. Your kids will do it.

Are you thinking of marrying your gf anytime soon?

On a personal note as long as our children have some sort of religion that is good enough for me.

 

[Yax]

Sex and masterbation. Wow, your gf will tell your kids that those are sins. You just tell them that we all have sins so its okay, they can go ahead and do it. Jesus already died for our sins. I mean, Jesus died for us so we can sin.

 

[BigToquex]

This is off topic...

How the hell am I supposed to find God?!?

I mean, fsck. Everything I've ever seen and read tells me God doesn't exist. Now I haven't done any of my own research, but everything just seems to make sense to me if everything in this universe (and other universes that may exist) are just some freak accident.

I love my GF so much, I'd give just about anything to be with her, but this fscking thing is just always there.

Everyone that believes in God has in some way found something that says "its all real". So what the hell do I have to do to find him? Where's the big incident that makes me say "holy fsck" and makes me believe?!?

 

[ElFenix]

umm... they teach very little about sex in catholic school, and that i think was some elective thing my mom decided to send me to. the kids aren't going to be told "oh these are evil sins don't ever even think about someone sexually you'll immediately go to hell!" its not like that. hell i think they said masturbation was healthy but i can't remember 9 years back. they'll probably listen to their parents more than the catechists anyway

 

[Kevin]

Quit thinking about your kids masturbating and having sex. There's a line you're bordering...

 

[Chess]

Well my girl is catholic, and IM not, i believe in god, but hey its all good haha those catholic girls like to give it up !

 

[Platypus]

Good luck.

 

[rubix]

don't be too concerned about the sex before marriage thing. the priests will break 'em in for you. god works in mysterious ways you know.

 

[Anubis]

dude you sound just like me.

I had thsi EXACT prob with my Ex GF. Im an athiest. 100%. i couldent care less about religion. when we woudl talek about it. i said that our kids would go to chirch and do all that. and then make their own decision. when they were old enough to. Basically she just wanted religion in their lifes. I had no problim with this. but even tho she said that that was ok. she was lieing to me. because "religion is such a big thing in her life" and I dont share that. it was a huge problim. even tho her faith is in question. because she has now become a compleat slut.

we brok up because of this and a few other things. but mainily because i didnt share her views in god. and she couldent deal with it. It didnt work out for us. hopefully you will have more luck.

 

[Ionizer86]

I think the Catholic Church dislikes family planning/contraception.

They say that if you have a child, then it is God's will that you have been blessed with the child, and you shouldn't mess with using family planning.
Correct me if I'm mistaken.

 

[halik]

my girl is baptist and im somewhere between atheist and agnostic. We talked about that stuff and i guess the only way to deal with it is to respect each other's views. Its everyones personal decision and you do not have to match with your significant other. Relationships in general are all about compromise, so i guess i get pre merital sex and she gets church sudays

 

[datalink7]

Originally posted by: Ionizer86
I think the Catholic Church dislikes family planning/contraception.

They say that if you have a child, then it is God's will that you have been blessed with the child, and you shouldn't mess with using family planning.
Correct me if I'm mistaken.

You are wrong

The Pope, and the Church, is against contraception. But they do believe in family planning. They belive you should know your partners natural cycle and avoid having sex when the chance of conception is high.

 

[jjessico]

You are in love, or whatever, with your girlfriend. Not her religion. So don't worry about it. As long as you are cool with future kids going to church just so they can make there own decisions I don't think it will matter. Just don't make a big deal out of it and be willing to give and take and it will work out. Don't buy into the hype that two people can't get along because they don't share religions.

Jason

 

[Geekbabe]

I have trouble finding my shoes some days I'm not about to look for God.I couldn't deal with a religious dude.

 

[cchen]

Originally posted by: BigToque
I am not religious at all. My girlfriend is catholic.

When the topic of kids comes into the picture, she says she wants to raise them as catholics.

For the most part, I don't think this is such a huge deal. I mean, it will be good for them to be exposed to religion. In the end, they do make a choice in what they believe.

Two of the things I dislike (these are only 2 specific things I know of, so there could be more later), deal with sex before marriage and masturbation. In the catholic religion, both of these are sins.

I never ever want my kids to feel ashamed or feel like what they are doing is wrong, if either of these things happen.

I mean, with masturbation, everyone does it (well those that aren't affraid of it). It is a natural thing. I dont want my kid to not know his own body and end up being some 2-pump chump.

With sex before marriage, I mean I wont really want my kids having sex too early, but I think the "no sex before marriage" thing is totally bunk. Sex is something you share with someone you love. It is the most intimate thing you can do with someone.

Right now these are really the only two things I can think of.

I really want things to work out, but how can I deal with these issues and any others that may arise? We can't be giving the kids 2 different messages. What do you guys think?

Wait, another one is thinking that being homosexual is wrong.

It's alright.... as a Catholic, I'll tell you that a majority of Catholics have probably had sex before marriage and masturbate.

 

[oniq]

Why don't you raise them without a religion then have them choose their own? Don't force it down their throats.

 

[Red Dawn]

Man just what a relationship needs, the guilt of Catholicism! I wonder why they think the have any type of authority when it come to relationships when they are run by a bunch of Pedophiles!

 

[boggsie]

Originally posted by: BigToque
This is off topic...

How the hell am I supposed to find God?!?

I mean, fsck. Everything I've ever seen and read tells me God doesn't exist. Now I haven't done any of my own research, but everything just seems to make sense to me if everything in this universe (and other universes that may exist) are just some freak accident.

I love my GF so much, I'd give just about anything to be with her, but this fscking thing is just always there.

Everyone that believes in God has in some way found something that says "its all real". So what the hell do I have to do to find him? Where's the big incident that makes me say "holy fsck" and makes me believe?!?

Get and read the book, The Case For Christ by Lee Strobel and The Applause of Heaven, by Max Lucado. I would pray that you read them with an open mind that is searching for the truth. I would also encourage the both of you to search out a Bible believing and teaching Church. God became man to facilitate a personal relationship with each of you. You don't need an intermediary; Jesus is there for you, right now.

 

[Xionide]

My aunt is a christian, my ucle isnt. happily married for over 17 years now

Xionide

 

[FrustratedUser]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I have trouble finding my shoes some days I'm not about to look for God.I couldn't deal with a religious dude.

Exact feeling I have. I can not deal with a religious GF. It's like mixing water and oil.

 

[Shawn]

My girl is Catholic too but luckly she isn't into religion much either so I guess I got lucky.