Making a move on a woman who has a boyfriend

[CKent]

Originally posted by: jdoggg12
Would it change your mind if it was a non-married couple with a kid they were raising together?

Kids are a turnoff for me whether she's seeing someone or not.

 

[TallBill]

I wouldn't be married if I didn't make a move on a girl already taken. Of course I just befriended her and showed her how much of an asshole her bf was at the time. Eventually they broke up, and we started dating.

 

[ScottFern]

Originally posted by: Flyback

Originally posted by: ScottFern
How about this. You pull this girl and you guys start going out. Then lets say 12 months from now everything is fine and this new guy starts at her work and they start flirting and eventually she does the same crap you did with someone else!

I am sure the guy she is with right now thinks that they are in love and definitely right for each other, so who says that can't be you in 12 months.

I'll come back to you with this one:

If you are, to your knowledge, in a happy relationship with a woman but it turns out she would rather be with someone else, would you like to keep living that lie?

Women aren't property (well they are, if you're a protectionist). I wouldn't want to be in a relationship just because someone else didn't challenge it now and then. If she moves on, then she wasn't happy with you in the first place (or, liked the other person more in which case she should be with him).

Yeah, but where does it stop? The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side. Someone is always going to have a hotter, more intelligent wife/girlfriend. Where does it stop?

 

[hysperion]

I see no problem hitting on a girl with a boyfriend or who's married......it's not my relationship....In regards to married women I would shy away from it simply because I don't want the drama that would be involved- not because of the moral issue. In my age bracket (23) most of the girls (worth dating) have boyfriends and I'm not going to pass up a chance with a cool girl because of her boyfriend who I don't know/care about.....On the same hand I generally don't mess with girls that I don't feel are worth long term commitment so on that hand I won't push a girl into breaking up with her boyfriend simply because if she's willing to do it to him now- she's probably going to do it to me later....

 

[BoberFett]

There's nothing wrong with it. She's not property, so her boyfriend has nothing to do with it. If she doesn't like the advances, she could simply say so. Once she's said no, hitting on her beyond that is rude, but that has nothing to do with having a boyfriend.

 

[hysperion]

the only exception I make is that I won't mess with the current or past GF's of good friends/family...

 

[ZombieRitual]

If you hit a home run with a girl who's with someone else than the boyfriend should get mad at her, not you. In the end it's the woman's decision with who she wants to sleep with and if she does, then the boyfriend needs to hold her accountable. You are just the one who she happened to let into her pants.

 

[meltdown75]

Originally posted by: cherrytwist

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Originally posted by: cherrytwist

Originally posted by: meltdown75
I see this spiraling into the, "people aren't committed until they get married" thread, which is BS of course and will annoy the living crap out of me so I'm out.

She really did a number on you huh?

happily married almost 4 yrs kthxbye

You're deflecting. No woman has ever cheated on you?

Power up deflectors and weapons, stand by for maneuvering.

 

[everman]

How do you even know if she has a boyfriend? I'm assuming the OP is not talking about high school right?
Even if I did know she had one, I couldn't care less, anyone is fair game if they aren't married in my book.

 

[SaltBoy]

I say no, it's not wrong if they're not married. If they're married, then stay the heck away.

 

[DarkThinker]

In my opinion until the female is engaged or married she is fair game

 

[Safeway]

Originally posted by: michaels
Yes, you deserve to get your ass beat.

I volunteer.

 

[DigitalWanksta]

Yeah, I have to say if a guy hit on my GF, he wouldn't have to worry about ever trying to hit on a girl again

 

[BoberFett]

Originally posted by: Jeff7

Originally posted by: 49erinnc
Simple answer:

Would you want a guy making a move on your girlfriend if he knew she had been with you for 2 years and was happy? Didn't think so.

Do you like the free market? Relationships can follow a free market model too. If she's happy with her current boyfriend, she has no need to see what the market offers. So if you make advances, she might not be interested in your goods, so to speak.

So much of what males in any species do is to reduce competition. Many male-dominated human societies try to keep women subservient, and less likely to feel that they even can "shop around" for their ideal mate. That means that whoever they're with doesn't need to stay competitive - it's an artificial market cap. The service being provided is being a good husband/boyfriend. If the woman isn't free to browse the market, she'll settle for what she's got - she's got no choice. The man benefits because then he can be lazy, and be less than ideal.

The same happens in a regular market without competition. A company with effectively captive customers, such as cable companies, has little reason to innovate. Cable Internet for example: let's say you're in the middle of nowhere, and can't get good satellite reception. What's your option for broadband Internet? Your local cable provider. Sure they might charge $200/month, and only offer 512kbps service with constant packet loss, but hey, what else can you do? It's not like they've got incentive to maintain their network or lower prices.
Similarly, in relationships - if either party feels stuck in the relationship, there's no incentive to stay competitive. But if the market is open for both, they'd best stay competitive, or else a breakup will result.

What I'm trying to get around to saying, which hopefully has come through by now: Guys don't like other guys hitting on their girlfriends, because the guy in the relationship has to make sure he works hard enough to keep her happy, or else she might take her business elsewhere.

As I've said in another forum:
"Yes, that's right, I've reduced relationships to simple economics, wanna fight about it?"

That is a brilliant take on it.

 

[DarkThinker]

Originally posted by: DigitalWanksta
Yeah, I have to say if a guy hit on my GF, he wouldn't have to worry about ever trying to hit on a girl again

You would force him to marry her?
I see we got an old schooler here, good for you

 

[Jules]

hope you get KO'd

 

[91TTZ]

Originally posted by: yllus
No ring = fair game.

That's how it works in the real world, not AT's fantasyland where everyone's got the personal code of a medieval knight. There's a reason that form of combat has long since been surpassed...

Not really.

The ring doesn't present much more of a barrier than a committed relationship does. Either they want to be faithful to their partner or they don't, ring or not. That and only that will determine if they'll cheat.

 

[91TTZ]

Originally posted by: HendrixFan

Bingo. Once a girl is engaged or married I consider her off limits. Until that time, they are not committed to any one person, and should be free to choose whether or not to move onto someone better. A lifetime commitment like marriage is an agreement to settle down with just that one person.

Wrong.

People think that marriage is some impenetrable barrier. It's not. Marriage is nothing special nowadays, it means almost nothing. It's just like dating- people are interested in each other, they get married. They lose interest, they get divorced.

Look at the divorce rate. The key lies in the person's heart. Either they're a faithful person or they're not. The same girl that's likely to fool around on her boyfriend is the same girl who fools around on her husband. The guy that gets a little side action on his girlfriend won't suddenly lose that craving once he's married.

Originally posted by: Meltdown75
I see this spiraling into the, "people aren't committed until they get married" thread, which is BS of course and will annoy the living crap out of me so I'm out.

I agree. Marriage is nothing special as far as commitment goes.

 

[amicold]

Depends how old you are. Teenager? No. Adult? Maybe.

 

[IHateMyJob2004]

If she leaves him for you, what makes you think your fate will be any different.

The best example of Fed chick is my sister in law. In college, she dumped her boyfriend for his friend. They dated 5 years and she heated on him ith her boss. Now engaged to her boss ... I expect her to want a divorce in 4 years. It will not shock me one bit.

 

[pyonir]

is it wrong to hit on a woman with a boyfriend if she is UNHAPPY?

boyfriends are just another hurdle in the race man...

 

[YOyoYOhowsDAjello]

Originally posted by: pyonir
is it wrong to hit on a woman with a boyfriend if she is UNHAPPY?

boyfriends are just another hurdle in the race man...

Go ****** yourself

 

[chris7b]

Originally posted by: tw1164
If she's happy, why would she entertain your advances?

That's my take. I've been with my GF for nearly 6 years now. I trust her. She's been hit on before and just declines politely.

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: YOyoYOhowsDAjello

Originally posted by: pyonir
is it wrong to hit on a woman with a boyfriend if she is UNHAPPY?

boyfriends are just another hurdle in the race man...

Go ****** yourself

LMFAO. I wasn't talking about you at all.

 

[YOyoYOhowsDAjello]

Originally posted by: pyonir

Originally posted by: YOyoYOhowsDAjello

Originally posted by: pyonir
is it wrong to hit on a woman with a boyfriend if she is UNHAPPY?

boyfriends are just another hurdle in the race man...

Go ****** yourself

LMFAO. I wasn't talking about you at all.

Happy birthday