- Jan 3, 2006
- 11,883
- 63
- 91
After being almost utterly depressed from watching a youtube vid on the Hungary chemical disaster...I have some thoughts.
I am thinking that I don't seem suited for your average desk job. I think the reason I am not where I want to be in life is because I feel unmotivated.
I thought this a few years ago. But being in IT, I thought it was because of the rat race feel to it, and always being a part of a department that never generates revenue in a direct way.
I always thought I was passed up for promotions or hiring because of bad luck or ignorance. I still think that's true for the most part. IT sucks. It's full of incompetent people, I always felt I was surrounded by idiots that have too much power.
But in some sobering retrospect and some soul searching, there were some times that it could have been my fault because I didn't feel into it. And these were at the smallest fractures of choices that could have led me from the mess I am in now.
So having said that, I want to radically change my life. I am going to pay off my debts, learn some new skills and move on. I don't know how yet. I want to do some civil service, or something that shows immediate effect. I don't expect to be a hero or anything, just a guy that wants to make a difference.
I figured out that I think with an awesome clarity when helping others.
I also love talking with people. I have a lot of people tell me I give an immediate sense of being trust worthy and loyal. I think I also have a knack for picking up body language and slight inflections in dialogue that others pick up on only after a lot of thought or time is spent analyzing a conversation.
I just need some help on creative ideas of what I could do.
I am jotting down what I could bring into it...and some things I need to work on.
Bringing in:
-Photography
-Taking in people's stories, talking with them, trying to understand.
-The good ol' USA is something that I feel proud of. But I also have a constant fascination with the many types of people that call the USA home. But that never prevented me from loving how other folks live, talk, work and have fun anywhere else.
Need to work on:
-Being a minimalist. Near nomad mentality. I want to financially sustain myself and provide a good home if I ever start a family. But in the meantime I want to be on the road or abroad in the near future.
I think shedding some dead weight and the pack rat mentality will show immediate inspiration for going to the next step. I think this part is very psychological. If I can accept throwing a ton of useless shit out, I can mentally throw some dead weight or shackles out of my head.
-Find some new skills that will help me on this road. New languages might help. More photography classes, or maybe some web authoring. My writing sucks, so maybe some writing classes.
-Get back into shape. I worked out for years, and got really strong. I stopped, and it effected me in more ways then one. I stopped because I didn't want to look like a muscled douchebag. However, I should do it because having a decent physical strength and stamina was awesome in daily life. If I get too vain about it, I'll buy baggier shirts.
Cliffs:
-sick of being a cog in the wheel. IT sucks. The talents that I have feel like they are being wasted or misguided in IT.
-want to radically change my life.
-I want to help others and sustain myself.
-what can I do? what inspiring stories have you heard about? I want to know more.
I apologize in advance for bad grammar and spelling. Or anything else that made this hard to read.
I am thinking that I don't seem suited for your average desk job. I think the reason I am not where I want to be in life is because I feel unmotivated.
I thought this a few years ago. But being in IT, I thought it was because of the rat race feel to it, and always being a part of a department that never generates revenue in a direct way.
I always thought I was passed up for promotions or hiring because of bad luck or ignorance. I still think that's true for the most part. IT sucks. It's full of incompetent people, I always felt I was surrounded by idiots that have too much power.
But in some sobering retrospect and some soul searching, there were some times that it could have been my fault because I didn't feel into it. And these were at the smallest fractures of choices that could have led me from the mess I am in now.
So having said that, I want to radically change my life. I am going to pay off my debts, learn some new skills and move on. I don't know how yet. I want to do some civil service, or something that shows immediate effect. I don't expect to be a hero or anything, just a guy that wants to make a difference.
I figured out that I think with an awesome clarity when helping others.
I also love talking with people. I have a lot of people tell me I give an immediate sense of being trust worthy and loyal. I think I also have a knack for picking up body language and slight inflections in dialogue that others pick up on only after a lot of thought or time is spent analyzing a conversation.
I just need some help on creative ideas of what I could do.
I am jotting down what I could bring into it...and some things I need to work on.
Bringing in:
-Photography
-Taking in people's stories, talking with them, trying to understand.
-The good ol' USA is something that I feel proud of. But I also have a constant fascination with the many types of people that call the USA home. But that never prevented me from loving how other folks live, talk, work and have fun anywhere else.
Need to work on:
-Being a minimalist. Near nomad mentality. I want to financially sustain myself and provide a good home if I ever start a family. But in the meantime I want to be on the road or abroad in the near future.
I think shedding some dead weight and the pack rat mentality will show immediate inspiration for going to the next step. I think this part is very psychological. If I can accept throwing a ton of useless shit out, I can mentally throw some dead weight or shackles out of my head.
-Find some new skills that will help me on this road. New languages might help. More photography classes, or maybe some web authoring. My writing sucks, so maybe some writing classes.
-Get back into shape. I worked out for years, and got really strong. I stopped, and it effected me in more ways then one. I stopped because I didn't want to look like a muscled douchebag. However, I should do it because having a decent physical strength and stamina was awesome in daily life. If I get too vain about it, I'll buy baggier shirts.
Cliffs:
-sick of being a cog in the wheel. IT sucks. The talents that I have feel like they are being wasted or misguided in IT.
-want to radically change my life.
-I want to help others and sustain myself.
-what can I do? what inspiring stories have you heard about? I want to know more.
I apologize in advance for bad grammar and spelling. Or anything else that made this hard to read.
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