Major fight with best friend - am I in the wrong?

[slackerinabox]

I'd really like to know - I don't feel like I was but I'd like to act accordingly if I was in the wrong...So I've had this friend for nearly 10 years now.. We were always writing partners since highschool and I let him be my co-director on the shorts I film for the longest time. Lately he's just been hanging out and complained everytime he needed to do anywork so I explained that I'd like to try someone else (Joyce, my film school partner).. He was fine with it until all of a sudden.. Now, as the first shoot that he's not a part of comes up, he said that I'm doing sh1t behind his back and being rude... I don't know where his anger comes from - I still like hanging out with him but do I have to be expected to work with him, even if he's totally lazy???

To be clear, I've tried time and again to explain that he has to put 110% if he wants to work with me and that our friendship is seperate from our shoots.. I told him to only help if he wants to and that I could easily find another co-director (I didn't say it in a rude way, I just said that he's not obligated to do this)... For 4 straight productions he's either fallen asleep or went out to drink during the shoot.. I never got mad at him, I just looked for another co-director.. and now he's furious... am i in the wrong here? These shorts are not just some friends fvcking around with a camera, I'm working with people who all take this very seriously, other than him.

 

[Zim Hosein]

I think your friend is in the wrong freedomsbeat212.

 

[Lager]

Just let your friend have the threesome scene. You can have the one on one scene.

 

[Zim Hosein]

Originally posted by: coldcut
Just let your friend have the threesome scene. You can have the one on one scene.

 

[lokiju]

Tell him its not personal and to learn to either become better at the job or learn to understand that you'll be forced to use someone else.

 

[Yax]

he's probably dating your ex. let it go.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: blazert40
Tell him its not personal and to learn to either become better at the job or learn to understand that you'll be forced to use someone else.

I told him that it's nothing personal and that I don't want to even call him lazy or criticize him because everyone has different priorities.. I didn't say that he has to shape up or else.... I said that I think that this might be too much work for him so I'm getting someone who's more interested to help out.. Now he's pissed and saying that he needs to find a new writing partner since we're not on the same wavelength and that he's now rethinking his career choices because he'd always assume that we'd work together towards a common goal... My argument is that he never worked towards any of it and expected to ride my coat tails..

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: cheapbidder01
he's probably dating your ex. let it go.

haha. no, my ex hates him (he's antisemetic, she's jewish)...

 

[kermalou]

is this another thread......of the same subject......

you guys will fght and then kiss and make up

 

[Yax]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: cheapbidder01
he's probably dating your ex. let it go.

haha. no, my ex hates him (he's antisemetic, she's jewish)...

They always say that when they're screwing behind your back.

 

[Yossarian]

you seem to have a lot of problems dealing with people.

 

[OffTopic1]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: blazert40
Tell him its not personal and to learn to either become better at the job or learn to understand that you'll be forced to use someone else.

I told him that it's nothing personal and that I don't want to even call him lazy or criticize him because everyone has different priorities.. I didn't say that he has to shape up or else.... I said that I think that this might be too much work for him so I'm getting someone who's more interested to help out.. Now he's pissed and saying that he needs to find a new writing partner since we're not on the same wavelength and that he's now rethinking his career choices because he'd always assume that we'd work together towards a common goal... My argument is that he never worked towards any of it and expected to ride my coat tails..

Work with the tools that you are given. It is hard to work with others, but team work & communication is the best skill that you can give yourself. Let your friend have some input, he might have some good idea & is willing to work if he have a part in the decision making process (his complaint of not connecting on the same wavelenght is the most common complaint).

Go for a drink with yourfriend & listen to what he have to say....it is much nice working in a relaxing environment than a stressfull one.

Good luck with your project.

 

[PowerMac4Ever]

There's friends, and then there's business (your movie)... you must keep them separate or stuff like this happens.

 

[vi edit]

WTF is it with drama majors and their endless life dramas?

Sheesh!

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: Yossarian
you seem to have a lot of problems dealing with people.

well, you're kinda right.. as far as working with people - I work with like a bunch of people and I've gotten praised by most.. some people are lazy and it pisses me off... I've been called the sweetest person and an asshole by people during the same shoot- I just don't deal with lazy people well.. Mixing a friendship with this is what was messed up...

I did notice something .. I've become deeper friends with new acquaintances and have alienated people i've known for years - I think I may be maturing or changing at least...

 

[Hubris]

"Maturing" isn't what it sounds like when you get dumped for being an ass. But maybe that's just me.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: Hubris
"Maturing" isn't what it sounds like when you get dumped for being an ass. But maybe that's just me.

how was I being an ass to him??

 

[RadBrad]

Hell yes, you are in the wrong.
Friendship comes before everything else.
Even if that friendship gets you crapped on.
Even if that friendship makes you loose out in buissness.
Even if that friendship costs you everything you have.
Even if that friendship sinks you down to the lowest level of low.

Afterall without your friend, who else is going to kick you around and
crap all over you.

Unless you don,t like that sort of thing.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: RadBrad
Hell yes, you are in the wrong.
Friendship comes before everything else.
Even if that friendship gets you crapped on.
Even if that friendship makes you loose out in buissness.
Even if that friendship costs you everything you have.
Even if that friendship sinks you down to the lowest level of low.

Afterall without your friend, who else is going to kick you around and
crap all over you.

Unless you don,t like that sort of thing.

Wait.. are you being sarcastic? Because if you are.. I kinda agree with you... My career and future is my #1 concern right now - he's never going to pay my rent..

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
I think your friend is in the wrong freedomsbeat212.

unlesssssss......hes....LYING!!!

but otherwise i think freedom is right

 

[RadBrad]

Stop the damn whining, make a better person of your "friend" by showing him the damn door. He will thank you some day. Life is about no.#1 <period>
.:gift:

 

[CarpeDeo]

There's always three sides to every story . . .

Your side, his side, and the truth.