The Point System...
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed.....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.....0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1 You leave the toilet seat up.....-5 You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0 When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1 When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom..... -2 You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5 In the snow.....+8 But return with beer.....-5 And no liners.....-25 You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5 You pummel it with a six iron.....+10 It's her cat.....-40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party.....0 You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy.....-2 Named Tiffany.....-4 Tiffany is a dancer.....-10 With breast implants.....-18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday.....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner.....0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.....+1 Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2 And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3 It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team .....-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+1
The pal is single.....-7
He drives a Ferrari.....-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.....+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like.....-2 It's called Death Cop III.....-3 Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls.....-9 You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15 You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it....+10 You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.....-30 You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-800
THE BIG QUESTION:
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding.....-10
You reply, "Where?".....-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".....-100 Any other response.....-20
COMMUNICATION:
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned _expression.....0 You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5 You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50 Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying, "Well, what do you think I should do?".....-100 You have fallen asleep.....-200
IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk.....-100
You don't talk.....-150
You spend time with her......-200
You don't spend time with her.....-500
You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-1000
GAME OVER - YOU LOSE
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed.....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.....0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1 You leave the toilet seat up.....-5 You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0 When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1 When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom..... -2 You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5 In the snow.....+8 But return with beer.....-5 And no liners.....-25 You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5 You pummel it with a six iron.....+10 It's her cat.....-40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party.....0 You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy.....-2 Named Tiffany.....-4 Tiffany is a dancer.....-10 With breast implants.....-18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday.....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner.....0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.....+1 Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2 And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3 It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team .....-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+1
The pal is single.....-7
He drives a Ferrari.....-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.....+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like.....-2 It's called Death Cop III.....-3 Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls.....-9 You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15 You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it....+10 You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.....-30 You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-800
THE BIG QUESTION:
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding.....-10
You reply, "Where?".....-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".....-100 Any other response.....-20
COMMUNICATION:
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned _expression.....0 You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5 You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50 Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying, "Well, what do you think I should do?".....-100 You have fallen asleep.....-200
IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk.....-100
You don't talk.....-150
You spend time with her......-200
You don't spend time with her.....-500
You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-1000
GAME OVER - YOU LOSE
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