- Nov 16, 2000
- 15,168
- 1
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Yes, it's that time again! Be sure to read it all. 
PREFACE
Let me preface this with the usual for my Speedpass threads: Read the threads concerning this topic BEFORE you read this one! You won?t get a few things and it?s best to read them in order.
EDIT: For the n00bs:
The Original 'Idea' Thread
Actual Incident at McDonalds
Second Actual Incident
THE SET UP
I was driving around Vernon Hills today, and realized that yet again, I needed the obligatory large coke, easy ice. I pull into the McDonald?s parking lot.
About to get out of my car, I do a quick money-check. NOESSS!! Only larger bills?why would I want to break my precious $20 bills for a $1.35 coke, and end up with a pocket full of 1?s and change? No worry, I have my SPEEDPASS!
?or do I?
Yes, yes I do. But it?s not in my belt anymore. I haven?t even used it since I took it out of my belt, that was loosening up and starting to fray. I have to find something to do with this Speedpass, I think to myself, it is just NOT right to use it the same old boring way, and my belt has no way of securing it.
Should I tape it to my forehead with a Band-Aid? No, no Band-Aids?what to do?!
Ah HA! I shall stick it somewhere. Somewhere never thought of before! Yes, THERE!
My bellybutton!
No, I?m not nuts. No, I?m not 12. But what else could I do with it? I?m not a skinny guy, and while I?m freakishly tall and work out often, I still have a nice, fat gut. So, of course, the Speedpass fit nicely.
THE ACTION
I go cruising into McDonalds, armed and ready for my latest experience and hoping they won?t file some sort of harassment lawsuit against me. I make my way up to the counter, and there?s a older guy there, around 65 or older, with big, hairy and bushy eyebrows that make GirlFriday?s armpits look sparseD).
?What can I get for you??
You know the answer: ?Large coke, easy ice.?
?Nothing else? OK, that?ll be $1.35.? He turns around to fill up my drink?
?*cough*?er...I?ll be using a Speedpass.?
He stops, and turns around. ?Sure, no problem. Let me set it up for you??
He punches in a couple numbers on the little pad next to the register, then looks up expectantly at me, who has not moved yet.
?You can wave it now.?
?Oh? OK.? I mention casually, as I move my legs apart about 4 feet so I am stomach-to-counter, then I grab my gut and slap it on the counter. It didn?t register immediately, so I leaned in a little closer and slapped it directly on the receiver. My gut isn?t really big, but I was right on top of it and it immediately registered at that point and began ?Processing Transaction.?
I looked up, at this point, wondering if the guy was still there, or had already called his other coworkers to get a look at me.
He hadn?t moved. He was staring at me kind of intently, almost like he just saw something he wanted to wipe out of his memory forever, and was figuring out just how to do that. Come to think of it, that was probably exactly what he was thinking. He didn?t need to call his coworkers, either, because there was 2 of them that were frozen, mid-stance by the fry maker with their jaws slopping on the floor.
He made a sort of gurgle sound, that I?m not entirely sure what it was meant to convey. ?Urk?ah?o?k?.? then he abruptly turned around and filled my drink, keeping his eyes on me the entire time.
I got my drink and left, still not sure whether or not those two other coworkers moved after the point that I leaned over the counter?
And remember?don?t try this at home! This was done by a bored, over-imaginative graphics artist with nothing better to do.
EDIT: By popular demand, I managed to find the pics from last year's thread on one of my computers and uploaded them to the new server:
Here are the 3 better ones:
Unabused Speedpass
Gutted Speedpass
Actual Transmitter
PREFACE
Let me preface this with the usual for my Speedpass threads: Read the threads concerning this topic BEFORE you read this one! You won?t get a few things and it?s best to read them in order.
EDIT: For the n00bs:
The Original 'Idea' Thread
Actual Incident at McDonalds
Second Actual Incident
THE SET UP
I was driving around Vernon Hills today, and realized that yet again, I needed the obligatory large coke, easy ice. I pull into the McDonald?s parking lot.
About to get out of my car, I do a quick money-check. NOESSS!! Only larger bills?why would I want to break my precious $20 bills for a $1.35 coke, and end up with a pocket full of 1?s and change? No worry, I have my SPEEDPASS!
?or do I?
Yes, yes I do. But it?s not in my belt anymore. I haven?t even used it since I took it out of my belt, that was loosening up and starting to fray. I have to find something to do with this Speedpass, I think to myself, it is just NOT right to use it the same old boring way, and my belt has no way of securing it.
Should I tape it to my forehead with a Band-Aid? No, no Band-Aids?what to do?!
Ah HA! I shall stick it somewhere. Somewhere never thought of before! Yes, THERE!
My bellybutton!
No, I?m not nuts. No, I?m not 12. But what else could I do with it? I?m not a skinny guy, and while I?m freakishly tall and work out often, I still have a nice, fat gut. So, of course, the Speedpass fit nicely.
THE ACTION
I go cruising into McDonalds, armed and ready for my latest experience and hoping they won?t file some sort of harassment lawsuit against me. I make my way up to the counter, and there?s a older guy there, around 65 or older, with big, hairy and bushy eyebrows that make GirlFriday?s armpits look sparse
D).?What can I get for you??
You know the answer: ?Large coke, easy ice.?
?Nothing else? OK, that?ll be $1.35.? He turns around to fill up my drink?
?*cough*?er...I?ll be using a Speedpass.?
He stops, and turns around. ?Sure, no problem. Let me set it up for you??
He punches in a couple numbers on the little pad next to the register, then looks up expectantly at me, who has not moved yet.
?You can wave it now.?
?Oh? OK.? I mention casually, as I move my legs apart about 4 feet so I am stomach-to-counter, then I grab my gut and slap it on the counter. It didn?t register immediately, so I leaned in a little closer and slapped it directly on the receiver. My gut isn?t really big, but I was right on top of it and it immediately registered at that point and began ?Processing Transaction.?
I looked up, at this point, wondering if the guy was still there, or had already called his other coworkers to get a look at me.
He hadn?t moved. He was staring at me kind of intently, almost like he just saw something he wanted to wipe out of his memory forever, and was figuring out just how to do that. Come to think of it, that was probably exactly what he was thinking. He didn?t need to call his coworkers, either, because there was 2 of them that were frozen, mid-stance by the fry maker with their jaws slopping on the floor.
He made a sort of gurgle sound, that I?m not entirely sure what it was meant to convey. ?Urk?ah?o?k?.? then he abruptly turned around and filled my drink, keeping his eyes on me the entire time.
I got my drink and left, still not sure whether or not those two other coworkers moved after the point that I leaned over the counter?
And remember?don?t try this at home! This was done by a bored, over-imaginative graphics artist with nothing better to do.
EDIT: By popular demand, I managed to find the pics from last year's thread on one of my computers and uploaded them to the new server:
Here are the 3 better ones:
Unabused Speedpass
Gutted Speedpass
Actual Transmitter
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