looks, how important are they in a relationship

[vivy310]

So I am seeing this guy, and I feel as if I was ever his ideal physical type. It has effected our relationship in the past. For example, at one point, he had a crush on this one girl we knew, and he was always trying to mold me to look like her. He would tell me how to dress and do my hair as well.

How important are looks? If your significant other isnt your ideal physical type...would that have an effect on the relationship?

(btw, i am not bad looking at all. i guess i dont have that look he is attracted to)

 

[Turkish]

first, pics?
second, looks are important to some degree (for all of us).
third, your boyfriend sounds like an ass (he is not over that girl)
fourth, cheers! :beer:

 

[theNEOone]

well initially it's an extremely important factor - in fact, probably the only factor. but after a while looks are less and less important. unless of course, your SO becomes a complete slob.


=|

 

[oogabooga]

they arn't the most important thing of the relationship. Physical attraction (or at least lack of disgust i suppose) should be there. If he's molding you to look like that other girl? i'd be worried.

 

[vivy310]

trust me on this, i am not bad looking.
Plus, I have seen the jokes people on anandtech made at the expense of those that post their pictures online. I feel terrible right now...maybe in the future when i have more guts

Originally posted by: Xiety
first, pics?
second, looks are important to some degree (for all of us).
third, your boyfriend sounds like an ass (he is not over that girl)
fourth, cheers! :beer:

 

[daveymark]

Originally posted by: Xiety
pics?

 

[wfbberzerker]

if you SO wants you to look like someone he had a crush on, i would definitely think long and hard about whether or not its worth being with him.

 

[PHiuR]

looks = first.
and if he just wants to get in your pants...

and btw...pics?!?!? you are on anandtech...

 

[gururu]

yea DON'T post pics...
if you seriously BELIEVE he is trying to mold you, lose him fast before you're hook, line, and sinker. find a guy who insists on you being the way you want to be.

 

[vivy310]

Originally posted by: vivy310
trust me on this, i am not bad looking.
Plus, I have seen the jokes people on anandtech made at the expense of those that post their pictures online. I feel terrible right now...maybe in the future when i have more guts

Originally posted by: Xiety
first, pics?
second, looks are important to some degree (for all of us).
third, your boyfriend sounds like an ass (he is not over that girl)
fourth, cheers! :beer:

---------
You are right, I dont think he is over her.

 

[Ilmater]

Originally posted by: gururu
yea DON'T post pics...
if you seriously BELIEVE he is trying to mold you, lose him fast before you're hook, line, and sinker. find a guy who insists on you being the way you want to be.

Agreed (except you SHOULD post pics ).

But I will say that looks are very important to me in a relationship. I can't help my physical reaction to a beautiful woman. If that reaction isn't there, there will be an important part of the relationship missing.

 

[Anubis]

pretty important seeing as the determin weather or not there is a relationship to begin with

 

[chrissyo4]

Like everyone said, looks are important intially, but personality will win in the end.
Looks will fade with time and there has to be some chemistry between you and him if you want it to last.
Sounds like that dude is a jerk. I say go for someone who is as interested in you as you are in him.
Good Luck!

 

[Painman]

Either it's love, or it ain't. Call me old-fashioned, whatever... if it's the real thing, you'll be like a pair of 10,000 kilovolt electromagnets, looks notwithstanding. If not, then it's a subjective quality. Brains and personal outlook are generally more important to me than physical appearance, but not to everyone else.

 

[JonTheBaller]

We can't answer your questions until you post some pics girl.

 

[notfred]

Originally posted by: Anubis
pretty important seeing as the determin weather or not there is a relationship to begin with

Seriously. Have any of you ever asked out someone you thought was ugly?

 

[steph30]

I have to agree with a lot of the responses here. I think in the beginning of a relationship looks are one of the primary factors. But, the more time that goes by the less looks matter, and the more personality ( as well as compatibility) does.

At 34, I'm going thru a divorce now and we've been married since I was 18. The more I reflect on our entire relationship, I think we made the mistake of basing a lot on looks (pathetic, but true). I think with both of us being young we got a certain amount of an ego-boost, as well as self-esteem building, from being "with" someone that we, as well as others, found attractive.

As we got older and matured, I think we both realized we had no (or little) common interests. I think this is the demise for a lot of youthful marriages...i.e. relationships.

HTH

steph30

 

[imported_FishTaco]

Sorry, the only legitimate times that a guy can suggest an outfit to his girl are when he suggests school girl outfit, cheerleader, secretary, nurse, hooker, etc. Any other fashion advice should be taken as A. he's way too metrosexual or B. he's way too psycho and he's trying to turn you into someone else.

Note, the ATOT terms of service section 10.8 subsection B state you must post pics when asking this type of question.

 

[screw3d]

Originally posted by: FishTaco
Sorry, the only legitimate times that a guy can suggest an outfit to his girl are when he suggests school girl outfit, cheerleader, secretary, nurse, hooker, etc. Any other fashion advice should be taken as A. he's way too metrosexual or B. he's way too psycho and he's trying to turn you into someone else.

Note, the ATOT terms of service section 10.8 subsection B state you must post pics when asking this type of question.

You learn fast. I like that

 

[Anubis]

Originally posted by: notfred

Originally posted by: Anubis
pretty important seeing as the determin weather or not there is a relationship to begin with

Seriously. Have any of you ever asked out someone you thought was ugly?

well im guessing most here have never actually asked someone out before

 

[bootymac]

At first, looks and appearance is a major role.. then as you two know eachother more and more, you don't really care how eachother looks like when you love them

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Being sexually arroused by your partner's looks is an important thing in a relationship. However, the more you get to know someone and the more you fall in love with who they really are, their external appearance will not affect your attraction nearly as much.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: notfred

Originally posted by: Anubis
pretty important seeing as the determin weather or not there is a relationship to begin with

Seriously. Have any of you ever asked out someone you thought was ugly?

Ugly on the outside? Yes. Ugly on the inside? No. I'm not a shallow asshat fvckstick like 99% of the rest of the pimple-farming I've-never-been-within-ten-feet-of-a-girl boys on this forum.

 

[HonkeyDonk]

Originally posted by: FFMCobalt

Originally posted by: notfred

Originally posted by: Anubis
pretty important seeing as the determin weather or not there is a relationship to begin with

Seriously. Have any of you ever asked out someone you thought was ugly?

Ugly on the outside? Yes. Ugly on the inside? No. I'm not a shallow asshat fvckstick like 99% of the rest of the pimple-farming I've-never-been-within-ten-feet-of-a-girl boys on this forum.

LOL...love that description.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: HonkeyDonk

Originally posted by: FFMCobalt

Originally posted by: notfred

Originally posted by: Anubis
pretty important seeing as the determin weather or not there is a relationship to begin with

Seriously. Have any of you ever asked out someone you thought was ugly?

Ugly on the outside? Yes. Ugly on the inside? No. I'm not a shallow asshat fvckstick like 99% of the rest of the pimple-farming I've-never-been-within-ten-feet-of-a-girl boys on this forum.

LOL...love that description.

:shrug;

It's true...