Just re-read my original post...horribly worded, LOL. Thanks for the advice, everyone. I suppose I'll try apologizing again, have a chat with the RD, and just deal with it from there.
Jeff7
Lifer
- Jan 4, 2001
- 41,596
- 20
- 81
Well, if you're an asshole, stop being an asshole. Maybe that'll give him some incentive to negotiate. Oh, and consider apologizing.
For at night, maybe he could use one of those sleep mask things. Just don't go being your usual asshole self and make him feel even more self-conscious about it.
Yes, negotiating and compromise are parts of college life. But that doesn't give you the right to be a complete dick.
If you might be able to give him a hand finding a roommate with whom he might be more compatible, go for it. Even if you apologize, first impressions don't go away easily, and there is likely to be a lot of lingering resentment. All it takes is you getting drunk once, or otherwise losing your (apparently limited) self-control, and say one derogatory thing about him again, and your apology will have been completely erased; he'll know then full well that apologies from you are absolutely worthless.
I was quite the asocial person in college. I was almost always in my dorm room first semester. My roommate was Mr. Social Center of Attention. But he also knew that I liked to have my space, and my "quiet," what could be had of it in a dorm full of psychotic freshmen. So he went elsewhere to do his socializing.
Campus apartment: Similar deal. My roommate would (generally) keep his drunken partying and vomiting confined to the livingroom, though sometimes his friends would wander past the bedroom's closed door and then forget how to find the livingroom again.
Now, I'm enjoying an apartment to myself. I think I'd sooner live in my car than have another roommate, unless Anne Hathaway shows up on my doorstep demanding to be my sexy bed-warmer and sugar-momma.
For at night, maybe he could use one of those sleep mask things. Just don't go being your usual asshole self and make him feel even more self-conscious about it.
Yes, negotiating and compromise are parts of college life. But that doesn't give you the right to be a complete dick.
If you might be able to give him a hand finding a roommate with whom he might be more compatible, go for it. Even if you apologize, first impressions don't go away easily, and there is likely to be a lot of lingering resentment. All it takes is you getting drunk once, or otherwise losing your (apparently limited) self-control, and say one derogatory thing about him again, and your apology will have been completely erased; he'll know then full well that apologies from you are absolutely worthless.
I was quite the asocial person in college. I was almost always in my dorm room first semester. My roommate was Mr. Social Center of Attention. But he also knew that I liked to have my space, and my "quiet," what could be had of it in a dorm full of psychotic freshmen. So he went elsewhere to do his socializing.
Campus apartment: Similar deal. My roommate would (generally) keep his drunken partying and vomiting confined to the livingroom, though sometimes his friends would wander past the bedroom's closed door and then forget how to find the livingroom again.
Now, I'm enjoying an apartment to myself. I think I'd sooner live in my car than have another roommate, unless Anne Hathaway shows up on my doorstep demanding to be my sexy bed-warmer and sugar-momma.
I won't fall asleep in front of him if I am in this situation. Ask your friend who mocked him to come guard you while you sleep and do the same for him when he does.
Hide the sharp objects.
Start taking self defense class, if you haven't beginning to do so.
Never under any circumstances turn your back on him.
Try to change your room ASAP.
Hide the sharp objects.
Start taking self defense class, if you haven't beginning to do so.
Never under any circumstances turn your back on him.
Try to change your room ASAP.
PieIsAwesome
Diamond Member
- Feb 11, 2007
- 4,054
- 1
- 0
Hmmm, I don't say hi or by much of the time either. I would feel really silly with charades too.
Oh well.
Oh, and OP, maybe if you tried inviting him with your friends to do something fun or to socialize as a form of apologizing?
Oh well.
Oh, and OP, maybe if you tried inviting him with your friends to do something fun or to socialize as a form of apologizing?
Psh... I'm a nerd and an asshole, but if I were stuck in that situation, I'd just get try to get along or ignore stuff.
Oh, OP is A-hole.
step 1: don't be an asshole. it's pretty fucked up to make fun of a guy with your friends with him sitting 3' away.
step 2: ignore your roommate; no need to try and force a friendship if you guys just don't get along.
step 3: request a new room for next semester.
step 2: ignore your roommate; no need to try and force a friendship if you guys just don't get along.
step 3: request a new room for next semester.
chitwood
Golden Member
- Aug 21, 2008
- 1,208
- 59
- 91
reminds me of a friend I had freshman year who lived with this total assbag, this kid had voice recognition software on his PC and he insisted on using it all the time. But it hardly ever worked. So he'd be screaming at the top of his lungs at his computer, at like 6am, to get his email. With my friend laying right there trying to sleep.
Sounds to me like he's the one with the problem, not you.
You may be an asshole and I know there are two sides to the story, but it doesn't sound like he's making any effort to at least try to fit in. If all he wants is to be left alone then don't expect anything to change short of one of you leaving.
As I see it, you have three options.
- Wait him out if you don't care about staying in that room. He'll probably move out soon enough.
- Beat him to the punch and switch dorms. Wait around the housing department or whatever for the director to show up and talk to him/her.
- Talk it out... since you are certain that you are an asshole, you may want to see if the college has mediation services to help. It's a long shot but at least you don't have to deal with the pain of moving.
You may be an asshole and I know there are two sides to the story, but it doesn't sound like he's making any effort to at least try to fit in. If all he wants is to be left alone then don't expect anything to change short of one of you leaving.
As I see it, you have three options.
- Wait him out if you don't care about staying in that room. He'll probably move out soon enough.
- Beat him to the punch and switch dorms. Wait around the housing department or whatever for the director to show up and talk to him/her.
- Talk it out... since you are certain that you are an asshole, you may want to see if the college has mediation services to help. It's a long shot but at least you don't have to deal with the pain of moving.
My RA gave me this advice. I didn't take it...I included this in my post to show that my RA wasn't really willing to "help" the situation...not that I know what he could have done.
just tell him you want to learn to communicate & show him a print out of your post.
apologize for making fun of his boobs (it's called gynecomastia).
college dorms can suck. people get thrust together sharing a room. sometimes
they get along & sometimes they don't.
at least you didn't play '70's rock at full volume while he was trying to meditate.
one of my most-mismatched neighbors did that in my freshman dorm, an odd
couple of a laid back musician guy & a total party animal/ asshole, pretty classic.
apologize for making fun of his boobs (it's called gynecomastia).
college dorms can suck. people get thrust together sharing a room. sometimes
they get along & sometimes they don't.
at least you didn't play '70's rock at full volume while he was trying to meditate.
one of my most-mismatched neighbors did that in my freshman dorm, an odd
couple of a laid back musician guy & a total party animal/ asshole, pretty classic.
ColdFusion718
Diamond Member
- Mar 4, 2000
- 3,496
- 9
- 81
LOL I would have made fun of that loser too. Who goes home every weekend while in college? He can't sleep even when your laptop is on the lowest brightness? Wtf does he have anyway, cat night vision?
Glad to hear he's moving out.
EDIT: I was an RA for 2 years and I've encountered my fair share of these weirdos. Whenever a normal, well-adjusted person is paired up with one of these persons, it often worked out with one of them moving to another dorm, where the weird one out of the two gets paired up with another weirdo. The RAs met regularly to talk about dorm issues and kept a blacklist of problematic residents.
Glad to hear he's moving out.
EDIT: I was an RA for 2 years and I've encountered my fair share of these weirdos. Whenever a normal, well-adjusted person is paired up with one of these persons, it often worked out with one of them moving to another dorm, where the weird one out of the two gets paired up with another weirdo. The RAs met regularly to talk about dorm issues and kept a blacklist of problematic residents.
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