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(LOL)THINGS TO REMEMBER (Brought to you by Brutuskend)

We cannot see the future. We cannot change the past. We can only live in the now with an eye towards gaining enough power in the future to wreak revenge on the son-of-a-bitch who screwed us in the past.

Dreaming frees the soul, energizes the spirit and allows you to do things that would get your ass thrown in jail if you really tried them.

Love means never having to say, "Does that twenty include the spanking?"

To truly love another, you must first love yourself. And it wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in between either.

A little bit of love goes a long way in our lives. It can provide us with higher highs and lower lows. But, if it comes with a persistent burning
sensation, see your physician.

When it becomes a crime to love, you should probably consider dating outside the family.

If Life hands you lemons today, smile and give thanks. Then when Life isn't looking, give him a quick knee to the groin. That'll learn him.

They say a smile is a gift, which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient. But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
 
Glad to see you cranking out the jokes again, brutuskend. BTW, the correct phrase is "that'll teach him", not "that'll learn him".
 
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Uhh Yeah.

I know that.

That was part of the joke. (The slaughter of the English Langauge..)

I see good grammar in all the other jokes. What does "slaughtering" the English language have to do with that one?
 
They say a smile is a gift, which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient. But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere

so so true thanks again
 
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