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lol I just had a great idea

D

dasherHampton

Platinum Member
I was walking by the front window of my house and I saw a young woman who looked to be taking an angle towards my front door. She was kind of cute, skinny jeans, pony tail, and a pink tank top but that's not what my immediate concern was. I thought maybe I had received a package and she was going to try to snipe it.

So I open my front door and sure enough - she turns around towards the sidewalk. I'm sure she was looking to steal but what can I do? She didn't do anything. I looked down and saw what I assume she was coming for: A bag with Bed, Bath and Beyond clearly visible. The thing is, it wasn't anything from BB&B. It was cat shit.

I use old plastic bags to clean out the litter box and sometimes when I'm lazy I set them just outside the front door so I can grab them on my way out and to throw into the trash can that sits outside the garage.

So the rusty brain starts working. I have a bunch of old Amazon boxes sitting in my garage. I'm going to fill one with cat shit, stuff it with newspaper or something so it feels solid, and set it outside my front door. I'm also going to leave one sitting by my mailbox some random night.

Inside the box I'll neatly place a note on top of the poop that says "there you go, you thieving shithead"

I can't get in trouble for that, can I?
 
I remember people doing something similar when the NYC garbage workers went on strike years ago. People gift-wrapped their garbage, put in on the seat in their car, and left the doors unlocked.

I think the OP's idea has merit but I wouldn't put any taunting notes in the box. Now if you could get hold of some exploding dye packs, that might be worth it.
 
I've seen some YouTube vids of boxes that were rigged to a tripwire and exploded when they were picked up. You wouldn't get much satisfaction just knowing that someone saw your cat poop in a box they lifted.
 
Do it. Easy way to get rid of your cat crap. But the type of person who would steal packages would also probably come back and throw the cat crap all over your house.
 
I love that idea. I'd be a little more abrasive in the note but that's just me. I'm not sure if they'd actually retaliate... hmmm. Maybe they would, actually. Do you have an outside security cam? If they tried anything you'd have it on camera for the po-po in case you did something about it. But maybe if you're less of a dick like I'd be and go your original plan then they wouldn't.
 
Carson Dyle said:
I've seen some YouTube vids of boxes that were rigged to a tripwire and exploded when they were picked up. You wouldn't get much satisfaction just knowing that someone saw your cat poop in a box they lifted.
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Didn't several people in Texas get killed a month or two ago for something similar? The suspect blew himself up when the police surrounded his van.
 
dasherHampton said:
You think they'd come after me for that?

I think you overestimate a porch pirate's resolve.
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I think you underestimate the ethics of a thief. Would they come after you with a bat? Probably not. Would they find a way to return your cat shit to you in a very messy way? Possibly.
 
I prefer to take aim at ebayers...

XKCD - A Minus Minus....

a-minus-minus.png
 
Why not put a nicely printed paper about the ethics of stealing in the box and add a bible for weight?

Of course go the extra mile and install a camera so you can later upload to YouTube.
 
Reminds me of the homeowner who set up a shotgun shell to go off when packages were lifted up from his porch. He got 15 would be porch pirates that way.

 
madoka said:
Reminds me of the homeowner who set up a shotgun shell to go off when packages were lifted up from his porch. He got 15 would be porch pirates that way.

Click to expand...

The alarming thing to me is how many individual thieves are trying to steal from that guy.
 
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