This has to be the weirdest conversations I've ever had. Odly enough it was somewhat intellectually inspiring!
Copied and pasted, only edited for the language filters. It may look long but it reads rather quickly.
Stratum9: Hello Esme. What's up?
Esme: What do you think is the point of life?
Stratum9: There isn't one.
Esme: So what if I don't?
Stratum9: The use of fantasy and routine often provides a point to life.
Esme: I'm a carbon-based life form, and I'm from Cheese.
Stratum9: You seem to have mastered the art of fantasy very well.
Esme: To give meaning to being awake of course.
Stratum9: Naturally!
Esme: What is beside that man?
Stratum9: Only routine. Routine picks up where fantasy ends. Fantasy is the antidote to the monotony of routine.
Esme: When will we go to Mars?
Stratum9: We can go there now!
Esme: The English have good beer.
Stratum9: And bonnets on the front of there cars....
Esme: Amen, sister!
Stratum9:
Esme: Age is irrelevant in death.
Stratum9: Obviously.
Esme: Why would you be my friend?
Stratum9: Do I need a reason?
Esme: Four score and twenty years, I have no eyes.
Stratum9: So you are sixty years old with cataracts?
Esme: I not only am made of broccoli, but grow it as well.
Stratum9: You are what you eat. So they say.
Esme: Greenwich Mean Time?
Stratum9: I'm on Alaska Time.
Esme: I have a love. This love is my muse for many things.
Stratum9: That's the way I feel about my pornography.
Esme: Hmmm. Sufi, huh?
Stratum9: Huh?
Esme: In squalor I wander/For a dollar I'd go yonder.
Stratum9: I'd go anywhere if you paid me enough.
Esme: When is the best time to make love?
Stratum9: When the wife says she's ready for it. Not until then though.
Esme: I'm a carbon-based life form, and I'm from Cheese.
Stratum9: Yeah, you mentioned that before....
Esme: Por que?
Stratum9: No comprehende?
Esme: An aplapa geek once trained such upon the masses.
Stratum9: An alpha geek? Is that like some sort of l33t haxor?
Esme: I once had one of those.
Stratum9: What did you do with him?
Esme: Any squalor offends your feet. For shame.
Stratum9: What's for shame is that you never really answer my questions!
Esme: Was sagen Sie? Sprechen Sie Deutch?
Stratum9: Carl Sagan is dead. I don't think he was Dutch.
Esme: How is the walrus in your closet?
Stratum9: He's busy copulating with the Antelope.
Esme: As in re-birth?
Stratum9: A birth is what it may lead to. I don't know about the re part.
Esme: What is the best kind of magic?
Stratum9: The kind that comes from my ass.
Esme: Indeed, but what else? With figs?
Stratum9: Indeed, figs generally cause a lot of magic to flow from my ass!
Esme: It is morning in France. The drunkards dance.
Stratum9: There's a place in France where the neked ladies dance/There's a hole in the wall so the men can see it all!
Esme: So moegen wir dich.
Stratum9: So morgan was a b!tch?
Esme: So moegen wir dich.
Stratum9: I only speak English pal.
Esme: Darmak at Tinagra
Stratum9: Shaka when the walls fell.
Esme: How could I have missed it, wedged as it was in my esophagus?
Stratum9: I thought we were speaking Tamarian? Mirab, his sails unfurled!
Esme: Why does saffron exist?
Stratum9: To add flavor to our lives.
Esme: What, may I ask, is in our open hand?
Stratum9: God's penis.
Esme: All the little raindrops coming down.
Stratum9: God's ejaculation.
Esme: Do you mean my hamster?
Stratum9: You worship your hamster?
Esme: The English have good beer.
Stratum9: Why do you repeat yourself? And why do you never respond directly to what I say!!!
Esme: The Sears Tower.
Stratum9: The Twin Towers.
Esme: Descartes plunders.
Stratum9: I think therefore I am. Descartes' blunders.
Esme: We're on television.
Stratum9: Seriously? Is this Candid Camera or something? Or wait - you mean metaphorically. It all relates to what I said earlier about fantasy being our only hope of investing life with meaning.
Esme: It is a fine line between cheese and split peas.
Stratum9: Not really, other than they rhyme.
Esme: How long do I have to go?
Stratum9: Are you asking me how long you have to keep this up before I lose my mind and sign off? Dude, I could go on longer than you!
Esme: Zum beissen.
Stratum9: B!tch!
Esme: Greenwich Mean Time?
Stratum9: Fvck you!
Esme: When gangrene eats my soul?
Stratum9: Clever. You're a real clever fvck!
Esme: Bitte?
Stratum9: Do you mean, "Bite Me"?
Esme: It is morning in France. The drunkards dance.
Stratum9: Your repeating yourself again.
Esme: This is stupid.
Stratum9: Yup!
Esme: Oh, thank you. Are you made of broccoli?
Stratum9: No. But I think you said you believe yourself to be.
At this point Esme signs off.
Copied and pasted, only edited for the language filters. It may look long but it reads rather quickly.
Stratum9: Hello Esme. What's up?
Esme: What do you think is the point of life?
Stratum9: There isn't one.
Esme: So what if I don't?
Stratum9: The use of fantasy and routine often provides a point to life.
Esme: I'm a carbon-based life form, and I'm from Cheese.
Stratum9: You seem to have mastered the art of fantasy very well.
Esme: To give meaning to being awake of course.
Stratum9: Naturally!
Esme: What is beside that man?
Stratum9: Only routine. Routine picks up where fantasy ends. Fantasy is the antidote to the monotony of routine.
Esme: When will we go to Mars?
Stratum9: We can go there now!
Esme: The English have good beer.
Stratum9: And bonnets on the front of there cars....
Esme: Amen, sister!
Stratum9:
Esme: Age is irrelevant in death.
Stratum9: Obviously.
Esme: Why would you be my friend?
Stratum9: Do I need a reason?
Esme: Four score and twenty years, I have no eyes.
Stratum9: So you are sixty years old with cataracts?
Esme: I not only am made of broccoli, but grow it as well.
Stratum9: You are what you eat. So they say.
Esme: Greenwich Mean Time?
Stratum9: I'm on Alaska Time.
Esme: I have a love. This love is my muse for many things.
Stratum9: That's the way I feel about my pornography.
Esme: Hmmm. Sufi, huh?
Stratum9: Huh?
Esme: In squalor I wander/For a dollar I'd go yonder.
Stratum9: I'd go anywhere if you paid me enough.
Esme: When is the best time to make love?
Stratum9: When the wife says she's ready for it. Not until then though.
Esme: I'm a carbon-based life form, and I'm from Cheese.
Stratum9: Yeah, you mentioned that before....
Esme: Por que?
Stratum9: No comprehende?
Esme: An aplapa geek once trained such upon the masses.
Stratum9: An alpha geek? Is that like some sort of l33t haxor?
Esme: I once had one of those.
Stratum9: What did you do with him?
Esme: Any squalor offends your feet. For shame.
Stratum9: What's for shame is that you never really answer my questions!
Esme: Was sagen Sie? Sprechen Sie Deutch?
Stratum9: Carl Sagan is dead. I don't think he was Dutch.
Esme: How is the walrus in your closet?
Stratum9: He's busy copulating with the Antelope.
Esme: As in re-birth?
Stratum9: A birth is what it may lead to. I don't know about the re part.
Esme: What is the best kind of magic?
Stratum9: The kind that comes from my ass.
Esme: Indeed, but what else? With figs?
Stratum9: Indeed, figs generally cause a lot of magic to flow from my ass!
Esme: It is morning in France. The drunkards dance.
Stratum9: There's a place in France where the neked ladies dance/There's a hole in the wall so the men can see it all!
Esme: So moegen wir dich.
Stratum9: So morgan was a b!tch?
Esme: So moegen wir dich.
Stratum9: I only speak English pal.
Esme: Darmak at Tinagra
Stratum9: Shaka when the walls fell.
Esme: How could I have missed it, wedged as it was in my esophagus?
Stratum9: I thought we were speaking Tamarian? Mirab, his sails unfurled!
Esme: Why does saffron exist?
Stratum9: To add flavor to our lives.
Esme: What, may I ask, is in our open hand?
Stratum9: God's penis.
Esme: All the little raindrops coming down.
Stratum9: God's ejaculation.
Esme: Do you mean my hamster?
Stratum9: You worship your hamster?
Esme: The English have good beer.
Stratum9: Why do you repeat yourself? And why do you never respond directly to what I say!!!
Esme: The Sears Tower.
Stratum9: The Twin Towers.
Esme: Descartes plunders.
Stratum9: I think therefore I am. Descartes' blunders.
Esme: We're on television.
Stratum9: Seriously? Is this Candid Camera or something? Or wait - you mean metaphorically. It all relates to what I said earlier about fantasy being our only hope of investing life with meaning.
Esme: It is a fine line between cheese and split peas.
Stratum9: Not really, other than they rhyme.
Esme: How long do I have to go?
Stratum9: Are you asking me how long you have to keep this up before I lose my mind and sign off? Dude, I could go on longer than you!
Esme: Zum beissen.
Stratum9: B!tch!
Esme: Greenwich Mean Time?
Stratum9: Fvck you!
Esme: When gangrene eats my soul?
Stratum9: Clever. You're a real clever fvck!
Esme: Bitte?
Stratum9: Do you mean, "Bite Me"?
Esme: It is morning in France. The drunkards dance.
Stratum9: Your repeating yourself again.
Esme: This is stupid.
Stratum9: Yup!
Esme: Oh, thank you. Are you made of broccoli?
Stratum9: No. But I think you said you believe yourself to be.
At this point Esme signs off.
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