Local Radio Station gets into Imus Trouble... Take the "Practical Math Test"

[Slew Foot]

Originally posted by: 1prophet
From the same cached website, this would be funny if it wasn't so true.




SCHOOL -1957 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Its sad because its true. The country is full of pussies now.

 

[jersiq]

Originally posted by: MegaVovaN

Originally posted by: bGIveNs33

Originally posted by: MegaVovaN
Damn kids and their HW :roll:
I did the math, here's the results:

1. 11 hits per full clip
2. $4355
3. 3.1 times, so 2 ho's 3 times, one ho 4 times.
4. Don't understand the problem. Does it ask how many 1 oz bags to fit 20% of coke? If so, 3.2 - 4 bags, 3 full and .2 leftover in 4th bag.
5. One 4x4
6. $2800 left
7. 17.6 letters can be made with 20% paint left over, so 17 full letters.
8. 20%
9. 28 weeks
10. 440 ft away

"Show your work" - my work available upon request.

I'm requesting to see your work.

As you wish :wine:


1. Ramon misses 6 out of 10 shots. Which means he hits 40% of his shots. Since he shoots groups of 13 shots, only five shots hit. 13 / 100% * 40% = 5.2 hits
Clip has 30 rounds of ammo. Ramon shoots two groups of 13, using 26 bullets and hitting 10 times. He has 4 rounds left in the gun. 4 / 100% * 40 % = 1.6 hits. So out of remaining 4 bullets only 1 hits. Thus, 10+1 = 11 hits per 30 round mag.

Read the question:

1. Ramon has an AK-47 with a 30-round mag. He usually misses 6 of
every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many
drive-by shootings can Ramon hit before he reloads?

Can't even ace a ghetto exam

 

[purbeast0]

Originally posted by: MegaVovaN
Nobody to comment on my 5th grade math sk!llZ? Nooooo....

fixed, and oh, your #1 is wrong

 

[Shlong]

Originally posted by: InflatableBuddha

Originally posted by: Skacer
Rofl, I think he should have used more neutral names for the "examples".

QFT. You could replace these with Indian or Asian names and it would still have the same effect, at least around where I live (Vancouver). The point is, these are jokes about gangs and crime, not racial jokes. Just in case anyone has forgotten, there are gang members of virtually every ethnicity somewhere.

People need to loosen up and laugh more.

I've never heard of an Indian gang. I've heard of vietnamese gangs but besides that none for asian... maybe The Yakuza & Triads but that's more like a mafia.

 

[MegaVovaN]

Originally posted by: Shlong

Originally posted by: InflatableBuddha

Originally posted by: Skacer
Rofl, I think he should have used more neutral names for the "examples".

QFT. You could replace these with Indian or Asian names and it would still have the same effect, at least around where I live (Vancouver). The point is, these are jokes about gangs and crime, not racial jokes. Just in case anyone has forgotten, there are gang members of virtually every ethnicity somewhere.

People need to loosen up and laugh more.

I've never heard of an Indian gang. I've heard of vietnamese gangs but besides that none for asian... maybe The Yakuza & Triads but that's more like a mafia.

Original Italian mafia, as well as Russian mafia.

So what, y'all saying that answer to #1 is 10?
He uses 2x 13 bullets at two enemy drive-bys, (hitting 10 times) then reloads, discarding mag with 4 bullets?

Way to go, saying I'm wrong without providing correct answer and your calculations leading to it.

Originally posted by: purbeast0

Originally posted by: MegaVovaN
Nobody to comment on my 5th grade math sk!llZ? Nooooo....

fixed, and oh, your #1 is wrong

You know, some people don't HAVE 5th grade math skillz. Or 4th grade logic skillz. Or 3rd grade ENGLISH skills.

edit: in GTA:SA I saw girls in gangs!

 

[Mr Pickles]

Imus you retard there aren't girls in gangs.

 

[InflatableBuddha]

Originally posted by: Shlong

Originally posted by: InflatableBuddha

Originally posted by: Skacer
Rofl, I think he should have used more neutral names for the "examples".

QFT. You could replace these with Indian or Asian names and it would still have the same effect, at least around where I live (Vancouver). The point is, these are jokes about gangs and crime, not racial jokes. Just in case anyone has forgotten, there are gang members of virtually every ethnicity somewhere.

People need to loosen up and laugh more.

I've never heard of an Indian gang. I've heard of vietnamese gangs but besides that none for asian... maybe The Yakuza & Triads but that's more like a mafia.

There have been over 100 Indo-Canadian gang members murdered in the last 10-12 years in the Lower Mainland (Metro Vancouver). And yea, we have Vietnamese gangs, involved with grow-ops.

I see from your profile you're in Ohio...I don't know what kind of gangs are there.

 

[InflatableBuddha]

Originally posted by: jersiq

Originally posted by: MegaVovaN

Originally posted by: bGIveNs33

Originally posted by: MegaVovaN
Damn kids and their HW :roll:
I did the math, here's the results:

1. 11 hits per full clip
2. $4355
3. 3.1 times, so 2 ho's 3 times, one ho 4 times.
4. Don't understand the problem. Does it ask how many 1 oz bags to fit 20% of coke? If so, 3.2 - 4 bags, 3 full and .2 leftover in 4th bag.
5. One 4x4
6. $2800 left
7. 17.6 letters can be made with 20% paint left over, so 17 full letters.
8. 20%
9. 28 weeks
10. 440 ft away

"Show your work" - my work available upon request.

I'm requesting to see your work.

As you wish :wine:


1. Ramon misses 6 out of 10 shots. Which means he hits 40% of his shots. Since he shoots groups of 13 shots, only five shots hit. 13 / 100% * 40% = 5.2 hits
Clip has 30 rounds of ammo. Ramon shoots two groups of 13, using 26 bullets and hitting 10 times. He has 4 rounds left in the gun. 4 / 100% * 40 % = 1.6 hits. So out of remaining 4 bullets only 1 hits. Thus, 10+1 = 11 hits per 30 round mag.

Read the question:

1. Ramon has an AK-47 with a 30-round mag. He usually misses 6 of
every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many
drive-by shootings can Ramon hit before he reloads?

Can't even ace a ghetto exam

In fairness, it's a poorly-worded question. It should ask "How many drive-by shootings can Ramon perform before he reloads?" The word 'hit' is included to throw you off and make you think about the accuracy. Ramon's accuracy is extraneous information.

The point is, he uses 13 rounds per drive-by. He can perform two drive-bys (13x2=26) and he will have to reload on the third.

 

[40sTheme]

Originally posted by: 1prophet
From the same cached website, this would be funny if it wasn't so true.




SCHOOL -1957 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

I don't agree with these 5.
There is no excuse to have a gun near a school.
Fights NEVER end in shaking hands (at least at my school).
People do not get expelled for unauthorized medicine. Maybe suspended, and definitely not searched. (Althought that in itself is pretty ridiculous, too.)
Like #4 or 5 are even feasible... :roll:

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: 40sTheme

Originally posted by: 1prophet
From the same cached website, this would be funny if it wasn't so true.




SCHOOL -1957 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

I don't agree with these 5.
There is no excuse to have a gun near a school.
Fights NEVER end in shaking hands (at least at my school).
People do not get expelled for unauthorized medicine. Maybe suspended, and definitely not searched. (Althought that in itself is pretty ridiculous, too.)
Like #4 or 5 are even feasible... :roll:

I think it's funny that two people in this thread actually thought those scenarios would actually happen. I mean come on, they're huge exaggerations. A few have some truth to them (like the aspirin one... I assume most schools would make you get the aspirin from the nurse, because it's really unwise to allow children to give themselves medicine), but for the most part they're exaggerations.

But back to the point I bolded... I never got into a fist fight in high school, but I did get into a few minor scuffles with guys in my dorm in college. One of those started when a guy from across the hall was in my room playing video games, and he was making a really annoying noise... I was standing right behind him hanging lights on my loft, so I just smacked him across the back of the head. Not too hard, but somehow I gave him a nosebleed. He flipped out, we had a bit of a fight, and the blood from his nose got ALL OVER both of our clothes. Afterwards we shook hands and washed our clothes together. That one turned out a lot better than the one that resulted in my roommate spending two nights living in the woods behind campus and sending me menacing e-mails from the computer labs during the day.

 

[StageLeft]

Those are funny as hell. Every aspect of each question gets at a stereotype, from the names to the common-law wife.

 

[hanoverphist]

Originally posted by: Hayabusa Rider
It's the black taboo thing again. Personally I think it's funny.

same here. i wonder if laShaunda has nappy hair? :laugh:

 

[DrPizza]

Originally posted by: 40sTheme

Originally posted by: 1prophet
From the same cached website, this would be funny if it wasn't so true.




SCHOOL -1957 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

I don't agree with these 5.
There is no excuse to have a gun near a school.
Fights NEVER end in shaking hands (at least at my school).
People do not get expelled for unauthorized medicine. Maybe suspended, and definitely not searched. (Althought that in itself is pretty ridiculous, too.)
Like #4 or 5 are even feasible... :roll:

A lot of schools used to have rifle teams. They competed with other schools for markmanship. The school I went to was the scene of a sniper attack in the 1970's. (Olean High School - read about it here) The sniper was also a member of the rifle team. A few people were killed, including the sniper who hung himself in jail later. Yet, rational minds prevailed back then and realized that it wasn't the guns, it wasn't the rifle team, it was the individual. 10 years later, when I went to school there, we *still* had a rifle team, and members brought their rifles to school. What that story claims happened in 1957 still continued to happen decades later in the areas that were slow to become pussified. Many teachers and students had their rifles/shotguns in their cars during hunting season so that they could go out hunting right after school. (Ironically, I went out hunting right after school today too.)

 

[hanoverphist]

Originally posted by: DrPizza

Originally posted by: 40sTheme

Originally posted by: 1prophet
From the same cached website, this would be funny if it wasn't so true.




SCHOOL -1957 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

I don't agree with these 5.
There is no excuse to have a gun near a school.
Fights NEVER end in shaking hands (at least at my school).
People do not get expelled for unauthorized medicine. Maybe suspended, and definitely not searched. (Althought that in itself is pretty ridiculous, too.)
Like #4 or 5 are even feasible... :roll:

A lot of schools used to have rifle teams. They competed with other schools for markmanship. The school I went to was the scene of a sniper attack in the 1970's. (Olean High School - read about it here) The sniper was also a member of the rifle team. A few people were killed, including the sniper who hung himself in jail later. Yet, rational minds prevailed back then and realized that it wasn't the guns, it wasn't the rifle team, it was the individual. 10 years later, when I went to school there, we *still* had a rifle team, and members brought their rifles to school. What that story claims happened in 1957 still continued to happen decades later in the areas that were slow to become pussified. Many teachers and students had their rifles/shotguns in their cars during hunting season so that they could go out hunting right after school. (Ironically, I went out hunting right after school today too.)

in arizona you can keep a firearm in your trunk on school grounds.

 

[LikeLinus]

Originally posted by: InflatableBuddha
In fairness, it's a poorly-worded question. It should ask "How many drive-by shootings can Ramon perform before he reloads?" The word 'hit' is included to throw you off and make you think about the accuracy. Ramon's accuracy is extraneous information.

The point is, he uses 13 rounds per drive-by. He can perform two drive-bys (13x2=26) and he will have to reload on the third.

In fairness, you can't read worth shit. You know, some people don't HAVE 5th grade math skillz. Or 4th grade logic skillz. Or 3rd grade ENGLISH skills.

 

[Nebor]

Originally posted by: 40sTheme

Originally posted by: 1prophet
From the same cached website, this would be funny if it wasn't so true.




SCHOOL -1957 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

I don't agree with these 5.
There is no excuse to have a gun near a school.
Fights NEVER end in shaking hands (at least at my school).
People do not get expelled for unauthorized medicine. Maybe suspended, and definitely not searched. (Althought that in itself is pretty ridiculous, too.)
Like #4 or 5 are even feasible... :roll:

You should be afraid. Blood will flow in the hallways. TERRAR! :Q

 

[BeauJangles]

Nobody is trying to say things haven't changed, but were the "old days" really that great?

Scenario: Bud comes home every night and beats his wife senseless.
1957: Wife tells everyone she's clumsy, finally gets the courage to tell the police, who promptly tell her to stop bothering them. Beatings continue.
2007: Wife tells police. Asshole goes to jail.

Scenario: Johnny gets molested by teacher.
1957: Teacher molests over 300 children during his career, retires with full benefits despite allegations from students.
2007: Student files complaint. Pervert in jail.

Scenario: Johnny has a learning disability and is failing English.
1957: He gets beaten by his father and yelled by his principle. He continues to fail.
2007: Johnny receives specialized care in the school and is able to graduate.



It all depends on how you look at it.