Lobster Vasectomy

[Ulfwald]

<< This tale proves that crime does pay, if you're fishing for elective surgery to go along with your stolen goods.
A 24-year-old supermarket shoplifter stuffed a pair of live lobsters in his pants and sprinted for the door, but he never had a chance. The violated crustaceans brought the thief to his knees in front of startled cashiers when they fastened their powerful claws around his delicate parts.

Doctors were able to remove the animals with pliers. They say the thief will fully recover -- except for one small detail. &quot;It was a do-it-yourself vasectomy.&quot; This man's daring supermarket exploits make him one of the few Darwin Award winners to live to tell the tale.

The supermarket manager declined to press charges, saying the culprit has already &quot;gone through enough pain (to) learn his lesson.&quot; >>





All I have to say is OUCH!

 

[blurredvision]

HAHA. This should be on Fox's next, &quot;World's Stupidest Criminals&quot;. LOL!

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

All the crustaceans around here are shoplifter-friendly I'd say, they always have something like big rubber bands around the claws.

 

[Angrymarshmello]

What site is that from? I gotta send that to some of my friends

 

[snakesnfrogs]

Darwin Awards

 

[Ulfwald]

<< &quot;Man held hostage by portable toilet.&quot;
(31 January 2001, Pennsylvania) A Huntingdon Valley man who dropped his keys in a portable toilet became stuck in the facilities while trying to rescue them. He hollered for help for 45 minutes, and eventually children playing in a nearby field heard his cries and alerted their parents. Police were forced to demolish the portable toilet to extricate the man, who had been standing in the redolent muck without his shoes or pants for an hour and a half. Doctors treated him for cuts and bruises, and removed the toilet seat wedged around his hips. We speculate that his ego may never recover its original size. >>

 

[mztykal]

OMG! That is soooo funny. I wonder how come the lobsters didn't have rubber bands on their claws...

 

[Ulfwald]

Perhaps when he shoved them in his pants, the rubberbands got moved, or slid off?

 

[bonk102]

i've gotta give you credit for the most interesting thread title

 

[gooseman]

LOL, and they say that crime doesn't pay!!!