PingSpike
Lifer
Oh...whats that Lotus Notes? You say you're loading? Wow! Thanks for the update...I was unaware that when I double clicked to run you...you'd start loading! I was going to check a website I was on, maybe type in a document I also had open...but WHOA! you're loading now so its time to just sit back and wait for the virtual orgasm that's surely coming in a minute to arrive.
Look at those people in the splash screen image, man they look like they're having a good time using this application! I can't WAIT until I'm one of them. Oh, its gonna be good. Its got everything. White people, asian people, black people...and an image of hands joined in cooperation. Wow...this application isn't just your standard groupware, its worldware. Its a mechanism for unity! The question "Will there ever be world peace?" The answer: "In 15-30 seconds, you'll find out."
Why would I want to use my computer for another purpose when I double clicked on you? If I did that...I might slow down the loading progress of the epinome of entertainment, productivity and progress that is about be on my screen! Holy sh|t, thank god that splash screen is there to ward off any accidental use of another application! Thank god when I clicked on the web browser behind you standard windows functionality of switching to that window was blocked, for my own good I might add. Lotus Notes is loading, and I better get ready!
Nevermind that loading a high res image onto your screen to inform the user that you're now going to be loading a program is a counter productive measure if you want an application to load faster...Lotus Notes is THAT IMPORTANT that the user must know what the status is...through the use of a vague image with no loading progress bar whatsoever.
But hey, if we don't advertise this awesome program to our target audience...of people that already have it...how else are we going to get the word out?
Thank you Lotus Notes, and god bless you. God bless you to hell.
Look at those people in the splash screen image, man they look like they're having a good time using this application! I can't WAIT until I'm one of them. Oh, its gonna be good. Its got everything. White people, asian people, black people...and an image of hands joined in cooperation. Wow...this application isn't just your standard groupware, its worldware. Its a mechanism for unity! The question "Will there ever be world peace?" The answer: "In 15-30 seconds, you'll find out."
Why would I want to use my computer for another purpose when I double clicked on you? If I did that...I might slow down the loading progress of the epinome of entertainment, productivity and progress that is about be on my screen! Holy sh|t, thank god that splash screen is there to ward off any accidental use of another application! Thank god when I clicked on the web browser behind you standard windows functionality of switching to that window was blocked, for my own good I might add. Lotus Notes is loading, and I better get ready!
Nevermind that loading a high res image onto your screen to inform the user that you're now going to be loading a program is a counter productive measure if you want an application to load faster...Lotus Notes is THAT IMPORTANT that the user must know what the status is...through the use of a vague image with no loading progress bar whatsoever.
But hey, if we don't advertise this awesome program to our target audience...of people that already have it...how else are we going to get the word out?
Thank you Lotus Notes, and god bless you. God bless you to hell.
