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Little poem I wrote when I was bored, give me advice

H

Howard

Lifer
When life is unbearable
Wander along the shoreline
Scream anger into the skies
A seagull drops its payload

or

When life is unbearable
Wander along the shoreline
Scream anger into the skies
A seagull drops its essence

or

When life is unbearable
Wander along the shoreline
Scream anger into the skies
A seagull drops its precious gift

- submitted by shilala
 
Reminds me of Jack's poem in Meet The Parents.

Edit:

You gave me life
You gave me milk
You gave me courage
Your name was Angela
An angel from Heaven
But you were also an angel of God
And he needed you, too
I selfishly tried to hold on to you
While the cancer ate away at your organs
Like an unstoppable rebel force
And now we'll meet in Heaven
And I shall see you
Nevermore, nevermore, nevermore
 
Originally posted by: YetioDoom
Reminds me of Jack's poem in Meet The Parents.

Edit:

You gave me life
You gave me milk
You gave me courage
Your name was Angela
An angel from Heaven
But you were also an angel of God
And he needed you, too
I selfishly tried to hold on to you
While the cancer ate away at your organs
Like an unstoppable rebel force
And now we'll meet in Heaven
And I shall see you
Nevermore, nevermore, nevermore
Click to expand...
🙁sniff thas fucink beautiful man :beer:

 
No...don't use "seagull"

For one, there is no such thing as a "seagull";

When life is unbearable
Wander along the shoreline
Scream anger into the skies
A seagull drops its payload

I would change it to:

When life is unbearable
Wander along the shore
Scream anger into the skies
A gull falls from grace



 
Teh Pidgeon

When the gray sky hangs low
Like a shroud
And life, like the cobbled streets,
Shrinks away before my weary feet,
Shimmering, hanging, fated to fall,
Teh pidgeon, in a starburst of wonder
Plies its sweet delight upon my head.
And the wheel of life turns.
Ohm.
 
Originally posted by: Wallydraigle
Teh Pidgeon

When the gray sky hangs low
Like a shroud
And life, like the cobbled streets,
Shrinks away before my weary feet,
Shimmering, hanging, fated to fall,
Teh pidgeon, in a starburst of wonder
Plies its sweet delight upon my head.
And the wheel of life turns.
Ohm.
Click to expand...

Haha...hilarious.
 
Originally posted by: Howard
When life is unbearable
Wander along the shoreline
Scream anger into the skies
A seagull drops its payload

or

When life is unbearable
Wander along the shoreline
Scream anger into the skies
A seagull drops its essence

or

When life is unbearable
Wander along the shoreline
Scream anger into the skies
A seagull drops its precious gift

- submitted by shilala
Click to expand...

When life is unbearable
Wander along the shoreline
Scream anger into the skies
A ninja wails on his guitar
 
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