Spydermag68
Platinum Member
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland,
Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played
by no man.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds
like a fair fight.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was
addicted to Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he
can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of
minutes.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a
direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is,
in fact, still alive.
There are three leading causes of death among
terrorists. They are all Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer's vanity plate reads: IKIL4CTU.
Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer
laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert
red. His second favorite color is violet, but just
because it sounds like violent.
If Jack Bauer misspells a word, your dictionary is
wrong.
Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait,
that is a real fact. In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has
killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times.
Jack Bauer managed to get a second bag of peanuts from
the flight attendant even though the airline does not
serve peanuts.
Men are ok with their wives fantasizing about Jack
Bauer during sex; because they are doing the same
thing.
Jack Bauer's house has an alarm system -- not to warn
Jack of intruders, but to warn the intruders of Jack.
In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for
Show and Tell.
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer
signal.
After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack
Bauer, Chuck Norris admitted that he was gay.
If you're holding a gun to Jack Bauer's head, don't
count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That
way, you get to live 7 seconds longer.
Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your
sexual orientation.
Jehovah's Witnesses once tried to convert Jack Bauer.
After four minutes of interrogation, they admitted
Jack Bauer was God.
Due to Jack Bauer, no one looks forward to the weekend
anymore, they look forward to the weekend being over,
and watching 24 on Monday.
REAL MEN (like Jack Bauer) get the DVDs and watch all
24 hours straight through... WITHOUT going to the
bathroom (again like Jack Bauer.)
He needs to go on Fear Factor, because fear is not a
factor for Jack, after that, they will have to call it
Jack Factor
Jack Bauer uses VX Nerve Gas as Cologne, his testicals
are so big they would hit the floor if they weren't
restricted by his pants.
Jack eats explosions for breakfast and pisses napalm.
you could cut off both his arms and he'd still be a
better shot than any of us.
Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played
by no man.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds
like a fair fight.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was
addicted to Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he
can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of
minutes.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a
direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is,
in fact, still alive.
There are three leading causes of death among
terrorists. They are all Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer's vanity plate reads: IKIL4CTU.
Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer
laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert
red. His second favorite color is violet, but just
because it sounds like violent.
If Jack Bauer misspells a word, your dictionary is
wrong.
Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait,
that is a real fact. In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has
killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times.
Jack Bauer managed to get a second bag of peanuts from
the flight attendant even though the airline does not
serve peanuts.
Men are ok with their wives fantasizing about Jack
Bauer during sex; because they are doing the same
thing.
Jack Bauer's house has an alarm system -- not to warn
Jack of intruders, but to warn the intruders of Jack.
In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for
Show and Tell.
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer
signal.
After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack
Bauer, Chuck Norris admitted that he was gay.
If you're holding a gun to Jack Bauer's head, don't
count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That
way, you get to live 7 seconds longer.
Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your
sexual orientation.
Jehovah's Witnesses once tried to convert Jack Bauer.
After four minutes of interrogation, they admitted
Jack Bauer was God.
Due to Jack Bauer, no one looks forward to the weekend
anymore, they look forward to the weekend being over,
and watching 24 on Monday.
REAL MEN (like Jack Bauer) get the DVDs and watch all
24 hours straight through... WITHOUT going to the
bathroom (again like Jack Bauer.)
He needs to go on Fear Factor, because fear is not a
factor for Jack, after that, they will have to call it
Jack Factor
Jack Bauer uses VX Nerve Gas as Cologne, his testicals
are so big they would hit the floor if they weren't
restricted by his pants.
Jack eats explosions for breakfast and pisses napalm.
you could cut off both his arms and he'd still be a
better shot than any of us.
