Little Johnny......

[John]

My Daddy is so cool

Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. The first one says, "My daddy is so cool he can eat four burgers at one meal."

The second one says, "That's nothing. My daddy can eat six."

Little Johnny starts laughing and says, "My daddy can eat light bulbs."

The other two boys tell Johnny that he is out of his mind.
They ask him why he thinks his daddy can eat light bulbs.

Little Johnny replies, "Last night I was passing my parents' room and my daddy said, 'Honey, turn out that light I want to eat that thing.'"

 

[SmackdownHotel]

 

[Alligator]

Do not approach women to ask them on a date if they have the following on their T-shirts

1. I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
2. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
3. Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later.
4. Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.
5. Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
6. I'm multitalented - I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
7. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
8. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP!
9. Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
10. I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
11. Next mood swing..6 minutes.
12. I hate everybody and you're next
13. Please don't make me kill you.
14. And your point is...?
15. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
16. All stressed out and no one to choke.
17. I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
18. How can I miss you if you won't go away?
19. Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
20. I am out of estrogen, and I have a gun.