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List some movies you've watched recently. Theatre, rental, TV... and give a */10

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Ajay

Diamond Member
Jan 8, 2001
8,207
3,137
136
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968)

Until the other day, it must have been about 35 years since I last saw this film, back when I was a miniature human and was scared of the child catcher.

This is a very odd film to watch as an adult. For starters, a childrens' movie weighing in at nearly 2.5 hours?!? It has some serious pacing issues and probably half an hour that could have been left on the cutting room floor, maybe even 90% of the first half of the film (I literally only remembered from the point that the grandfather is kidnapped).

If I forgive the first half of the film for boring me out of my mind, the rest still made me smile from time to time.

I'm largely posting this review as a warning to any parents who vaguely remember this film being enjoyable and are considering showing it to their kids.

Also, watching it with my German wife (who hadn't seen it before or knew anything about it) was an interesting experience, considering how German "Vulgaria" was obviously intended to be, right down to good portions of the film being shot there.
Damn I'm getting old. I remember seeing that in a drive in theater.
 

mikeymikec

Lifer
May 19, 2011
14,294
4,339
136
Underworld 1- whatever.

Kate Beckinsale runs around in a tight leather outfit and tactical combat heels, shooting guns for about 8 hours. There's something about vampires and werewolves.

10/10
There's three more where that came from! The second movie boasts even more of Kate than the first (though about as much as you see of Scott Speedman TBF). If the plot matters at all to you then you may want to avoid 4 & 5. Dear lord, they are bad (and I'm speaking relative to 1&2, not say 'Apocalypse Now').
 

DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
11,573
1,077
126
i watched Extraction - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8936646/

which is Chris Hemsworth shooting and punching bad dudes to exhaustion, and i don't mean the bad dudes or himself, but rather viewer's exhaustion. You'll grow sick of bad dudes being punched, so hard that you'll start a campaign for the prevention of violence against bad dudes.
Crap plot otherwise. Watch Man On Fire if you want that kind of vibe but can't stand Liam Neeson trying to not look old or if you cannot have your films all have a green/ brown camo tint.
Hemsworth plays a mercenary in ... somewhere. The ethnically-challenged son of some guy gets kidnapped. C.H. proceeds to extract him. As they get shot at by goons with terrible aim, C.H. has to face the ethical consideration that, while he's extracting the kid from a bunch of criminals, the guy who he's bringing it back to is *also* a criminal. Because anyone who is not white is a criminal, in one way or another. Seems fun, unfortunately Extraction cannot hide the fact that it's just bad military porn, despite the attempts at a profound morality.

6/10 - the Transformers of violence against bad dudes
 
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zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
105,030
19,715
136
There's three more where that came from! The second movie boasts even more of Kate than the first (though about as much as you see of Scott Speedman TBF). If the plot matters at all to you then you may want to avoid 4 & 5. Dear lord, they are bad (and I'm speaking relative to 1&2, not say 'Apocalypse Now').
I guess I wasn't clear (thought the 8 hours bit covered it), but "Underworld 1 - whatever" is supposed to mean "Underworld PART 1 - [Part] Whatever [ who cares because it doesn't really matter]" :D --OK, I went ahead and edited it. It's important because for those people that read my perfect review and have not seen these movies, need to understand that this perfect review covers the entire series.

I saw that the "3rd" one or something doesn't even have Kate Beckinsale, is a prequel that pretends there is a single viewer out there that gives a fuck about these movies outside of Kate Beckinsale in leather, so will skip it as I assume every other potential viewer has.

Anyway....yeah I've actually seen them a few times. ..the first 2, anyway. I originally picked up the 2nd one on BD years ago because it was just part of those BOGO deals that were all over the place in the glory days of early BD/HD DVD wars, and the selection really wasn't that great anyway. It looked like the "best of bad options" for whatever free BDs you would pick up, anyway. ...so yeah, I've watched it a few times. I keep thinking I never saw the first one, keep telling myself I should get around to watching it...so like always, I watched again last night, realized that I've actually seen it a couple of times already, lol.

because that's what these movies are. Does anyone even know what the fuck they are about? No, of course not. I just watched the 3rd (Kate Beckinsale) one, .....I think for the 1st time? It has Tywin Lannister. It's pretty awesome because Kate Beckinsale is fucking smoking and she seems immortal IRL.

I have to pay $4 to digital rent the most recent one. Not sure if it's worth ....ah fuck it of course I will watch it.

Also, if my math checks out, it looks like it's now been 4 years since we were given some more Beckinsale in leather content. What the hell is taking so long?

I think this is also not the first time that I have reviewed these movies exactly that way, perhaps even in this thread as far back as it goes; and I'm absolutely certain that this is not an original take.
 
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pmv

Diamond Member
May 30, 2008
7,672
2,835
136
i watched Extraction - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8936646/

which is Chris Hemsworth shooting and punching bad dudes to exhaustion, and i don't mean the bad dudes or himself, but rather viewer's exhaustion. You'll grow sick of bad dudes being punched, so hard that you'll start a campaign for the prevention of violence against bad dudes.
Crap plot otherwise. Watch Man On Fire if you want that kind of vibe but can't stand Liam Neeson trying to not look old or if you cannot have your films all have a green/ brown camo tint.
Hemsworth plays a mercenary in ... somewhere. The ethnically-challenged son of some guy gets kidnapped. C.H. proceeds to extract him. As they get shot at by goons with terrible aim, C.H. has to face the ethical consideration that, while he's extracting the kid from a bunch of criminals, the guy who he's bringing it back to is *also* a criminal. Because anyone who is not white is a criminal, in one way or another. Seems fun, unfortunately Extraction cannot hide the fact that it's just bad military porn, despite the attempts at a profound morality.

6/10 - the Transformers of violence against bad dudes
I think I saw that (when scraping the barrel on Netflix) but remember nothing at all about it. Other than I was intrigued to see an action flick set in Bangladesh and disappointed when I discovered it was actually filmed in Thailand. Edit - just checked that imdb link and apparently some bits of it were filmed in India, at least.
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
105,030
19,715
136
i watched Extraction - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8936646/

which is Chris Hemsworth shooting and punching bad dudes to exhaustion, and i don't mean the bad dudes or himself, but rather viewer's exhaustion. You'll grow sick of bad dudes being punched, so hard that you'll start a campaign for the prevention of violence against bad dudes.
Crap plot otherwise. Watch Man On Fire if you want that kind of vibe but can't stand Liam Neeson trying to not look old or if you cannot have your films all have a green/ brown camo tint.
Hemsworth plays a mercenary in ... somewhere. The ethnically-challenged son of some guy gets kidnapped. C.H. proceeds to extract him. As they get shot at by goons with terrible aim, C.H. has to face the ethical consideration that, while he's extracting the kid from a bunch of criminals, the guy who he's bringing it back to is *also* a criminal. Because anyone who is not white is a criminal, in one way or another. Seems fun, unfortunately Extraction cannot hide the fact that it's just bad military porn, despite the attempts at a profound morality.

6/10 - the Transformers of violence against bad dudes
At first I thought you were talking about Extract and was like, what the hell movie did you think you watched?

:D

Probably the weakest Mike Judge film but still not bad, really. Everybody likes Jason Batemen, and it has Mila Kunis so of course you are going to watch it.
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
105,030
19,715
136
I'm pretty sure she's hung up the suit for good.

The one with Charles Dance in was 5 (Blood Wars). Slightly more watchable than 4 (Awakening), maybe (IMO)?
He was introduced in Awakening. I know this because I watched it about 4 hours ago, lol. Well, "watched." If you asked me right now, I couldn't tell you what was going on by the 2nd act.
 

DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
11,573
1,077
126
i sat down to watch The Midnight Sky - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10539608/

.. an attempt which did not last long. The film is 2 full hours, but i gave up after 1 and just read the spoilers from Wikipedia and the reviews from IMDb.

TMS is the .. oh my god. It is the story of a guy in an artic station. He doesnt really do much in that artic station, so much so that it's not really relevant.
Now, apparently there's been a catastrophe. Earth is dying, blah blah. We dont get to see any of it nor an explanation.
This guy used to be a researcher that specialized in exoplanets. He got dumped by his wife because he was too much into work. He also has a daughter, i guess, that he's never seen.

After 1 hour he needs to get in touch with a mission on Jupiter, and to do this he must face the terrible odds of "cold". He goes in the cold, and speaks with the mission. OH, BUT, it's actually HIS DAUGHTER on Jupiter. OH THE HUMANITY.

and that's it.

I went on IMDb to see who was responsible for this garbage. Here is what i found out.

1. the protagonist, if we can call it that, is George Clooney. In a big white beard, with almost no dialogue, no confrontation, NO ACTING.
2. the director is George Clooney.

And the mystery is now explained.
Clooney's directing career is as follows: the passable Leatherheads, the decent Ides Of March, which is carried in force by Ryan Gosling, Seymour Hoffman, Paul Giamatti, the bland & boring Monuments Men, the terrible Suburbicon, and now The Midnight Sky.

The Midnight Sky is really, really bad. There is very little acting at all and it's bad or cringey when there is any of it, the camerawork is rudimentary, look, it's just really bad. Eveyrthing about it is bad. Just in case you were thinking "oh, but it's a George Clooney film". No, it's not.

5/10 - please don't.
 

mikeymikec

Lifer
May 19, 2011
14,294
4,339
136
He was introduced in Awakening. I know this because I watched it about 4 hours ago, lol. Well, "watched." If you asked me right now, I couldn't tell you what was going on by the 2nd act.
I vaguely remember now. Yep, you're right. I watched it once a fair few years ago and hadn't had the inclination since.
 

DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
11,573
1,077
126
i have never watched BoJack Horseman, but that is about to change, now. I donwloaded all 6 seasons and i am about to embark on an epic binge.

I have also never watched Archer, but, i'm not sure i can watch it now. Can i watch it now? It would be the obvious voice of Bob from Bob's Burgers.
 

DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
11,573
1,077
126
Gladiator- 10/10

I've must of seen this movie 20x. It's one of my favorites.
you must HAVE.

also, Gladiator, bah. I got put off from the very beginning scene. Explosions ? During the gallic campaign ? What next, Apache helicopters?
 

Mai72

Lifer
Sep 12, 2012
10,496
1,103
126
you must HAVE.

also, Gladiator, bah. I got put off from the very beginning scene. Explosions ? During the gallic campaign ? What next, Apache helicopters?
Sorry. I'm tired. Thanks for correcting me.

I get why you don't like the beginning scene. I liked the movie because of Russell Crowes performance. And, joaquin phoenix of course.
 

DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
11,573
1,077
126
Sorry. I'm tired. Thanks for correcting me.

I get why you don't like the beginning scene. I liked the movie because of Russell Crowes performance. And, joaquin phoenix of course.
I also liked Russel's performance. I think if the film had been made more "pseudo-realistic" (think your 1960s colossals) i would have like it more.
The final fight scene is also exagerated, Comodus already comes off as an asshole, there's no need for the white armor and the poison dagger.
I'm not blaming Phoenix, but rather THE GUY WHO DIRECTED BLADE RUNNER. Jesus. I love Blade Runner. I love Blade Runner so much, i fuck it*, with the voiceover and all.




*RLM reference
 
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deustroop

Golden Member
Dec 12, 2010
1,614
232
116
Sorry. I'm tired. Thanks for correcting me.

I get why you don't like the beginning scene. I liked the movie because of Russell Crowes performance. And, joaquin phoenix of course.
The opening scene was likely the best opening scene of all time. The grit and drama was fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. The film as a whole was one of the 10 best I've seen .The motif of the gladiator's hand moving dream like through the wheat is iconic. And the opening ? Greatest.
 
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thestrangebrew1

Diamond Member
Dec 7, 2011
3,141
220
106
WandaVision - 8/10 so far. Caught up with all the episodes. I'm not familiar with the origin story, just from what I've seen with the Avengers but I really like the series so far. It's entertaining for me at least. The acting is ok but the story is interesting so I'll keep watching it.
 

SMOGZINN

Lifer
Jun 17, 2005
13,156
2,732
136
The Little Things - 3/10 - Way too slow with way to little payoff. The movie is about two cops that are determined to stop a serial killer no matter the cost. The serial killer itself is really just a McGuffin, the show would have played the same almost no matter why the cops decided to go all bad cop and worse cop. The show is really about character development and the characters are just not interesting enough to be worth developing.
 
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UsandThem

Elite Member
Super Moderator
May 4, 2000
14,234
4,795
146
The Lobster 6/10

A very awkward movie from beginning to end, and while watching it I thought of some of the "never had a relationship in my life" users here would have fit in perfectly as characters in this movie.
 

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