NOW CLOSED ; List some movies you've watched recently. Theatre, rental, TV... and give a */10

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May 11, 2008
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Typical face lift. If it's hard to tell, he got a good one. A lot of the time the eye lids get screwed up and it's almost comical how fake someone looks (I'm talking about you stallone!)

I looked up his age, he is 62. I thought he was older, so studio make up and lightning do the rest.
When looking at his pictures, he does seem to age. I do not think he had any plastic surgery at all.
This is a 2016 picture.
I say it is the youtube codec compression for the trailer of deathwish 2018. Probably some post processing and filtering.

maruaders-2016-bruce-willis.png
 

DaveSimmons

Elite Member
Aug 12, 2001
40,730
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Excellent film. Highly recommended assuming you don't have a problem with brains and intestines.

Death Wish - 10/10

So Bruce Willis was awake in this one?

He was good in the first RED, but in every appearance of his I've seen after that he's seemed bored, mildly grumpy and heavily sedated :(
 

thedarkwolf

Diamond Member
Oct 13, 1999
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Mute 6/10
This is one of those movies where the world is more interesting than the plot/story. Set in the Blade Runnerish filthy seedy near future a mute Amish dude's girlfriend goes missing and he has to hunt her down. The Amish dude in the future thing is neat and Paul Rudd's character is kind of fun but that is about it. It is 2 hours long and probably would have been better if they cut 30 mins out. Netflix movie
 

Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
48,414
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One of those movies that dragged out WAY to much. That's probably my biggest complaint. 141 friggin minutes. Should have been 90 and I'd have been OK. The last half hour was misery sitting through. I just wanted it to be over.

LOL, maybe the directors cut will remove a bunch of footage that the studio wanted in.

I think my only real complaint about it was that it had that kind of serious, solid DC beginning, which I really liked, but then kind of a Captain America cartoony ending. I felt like they should have stuck with that more serious seriousness throughout the ending of the story. It was almost like a Nolan beginning with a "Batman & Robin" (the live-action one with Arnold as Mr. Freeze) ending. I would have really liked to have seen a more complex bad-guy story with Ares drawn out. This scene was pretty good, I just wish they had kept up that deeper discussion of the villain's motives throughout the entire ending, because he made a lot of excellent points, instead of just being a "whee let's kill people" bad guy:

 

Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
48,414
5,270
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Mute 6/10
This is one of those movies where the world is more interesting than the plot/story. Set in the Blade Runnerish filthy seedy near future a mute Amish dude's girlfriend goes missing and he has to hunt her down. The Amish dude in the future thing is neat and Paul Rudd's character is kind of fun but that is about it. It is 2 hours long and probably would have been better if they cut 30 mins out. Netflix movie

Just saw the trailer for it. Trailer wasn't cut well ("don't drink any soda while I'm gone" randomly inserted with no preface for that guy, after flying cars & bartenders punching people out?), but the graphics looked like a Bladerunner/5th Element ripoff, so that was intriguing. Plus the concept is kind of fun, those "fish out of water" stories are always pretty interesting to play off of.
 

Charmonium

Diamond Member
May 15, 2015
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The Frankenstein Chronicles - episode 1 of 6 - 10/10

Ya, this thing is pretty damn good. Good acting. Good pace. Good story. Promising story arc. After the first episode, 6 total episodes is probably perfect for a season long story arc. The setting is amazing!

I can't think of a single negative aspect to drop it to a 9/10. I mean it was easy to follow so I can't complain about there being to many characters introduced (because there weren't) and there was not a single WTF is going on here moment. And there are no lulls. The story just kept moving forward.

This is probably a required binge watch on the weekend for many. 6 episodes at 48 minutes each = 288 minutes (4 hours 48 minutes).
I liked the show and will probably check out season 2, but do you think it belongs on the same level as something like Taboo?
 

shortylickens

No Lifer
Jul 15, 2003
82,854
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Flint Town (Netflix)
Will give it an 8/10 for now.

Documentary miniseries on the Flint situation. Most episodes are about the crime problem, some discussion of the politics.

They have 98 officers. At any given time there are 9 cruisers running around the entire city. Most of them have one officer.

A woman they had on saw her first dead body the first day of work. on her 4th day she watched someone die in her arms. she said it was comforting having a film crew in her car.
 

thedarkwolf

Diamond Member
Oct 13, 1999
9,000
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Plus the concept is kind of fun, those "fish out of water" stories are always pretty interesting to play off of.

Talking Mute here still

That is kind of the problem with the movie though, it isn't really a fish out of water story. The only time the Amish thing really matters is in the first 5 mins where mute dude is injured and his Amish family won't allow the doctors to treat him which is why he is mute. There is very little fish out of water stuff, he lives in the big city and he has electricity he just uses minimal technology to get by with in the future world, he isn't strict Amish. The mute aspect has way more affect on his life than the Amish thing. It would be different if he lived in an Amish community out in the sticks and his Amish girlfriend ran off to the big future city and gets in trouble and he has to go find her but that isn't what happens. I was expecting something more like Amish Taken in the Future and that isn't what this movie is.
 

DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
13,496
2,122
126
i was trying to watch Stardust - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486655/

but it turns out i have the flu, so i crashed. today i feel like sh*t, thank you for asking.

it looks pretty good, has that sort of *ENCHANTED* thing about it, think early Harry Potter / Princess Bridge / and that Oz film with Mila Kunis, same type of special effects but less horrid.

no vote atm
 

DaveSimmons

Elite Member
Aug 12, 2001
40,730
670
126
i was trying to watch Stardust - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486655/

but it turns out i have the flu, so i crashed. today i feel like sh*t, thank you for asking.

it looks pretty good, has that sort of *ENCHANTED* thing about it, think early Harry Potter / Princess Bridge / and that Oz film with Mila Kunis, same type of special effects but less horrid.

no vote atm

I remember enjoying it even though it sounded stupid on paper. Maybe a 7/10 or 7.5/10.
 

Thebobo

Lifer
Jun 19, 2006
18,592
7,673
136
i was trying to watch Stardust - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486655/

but it turns out i have the flu, so i crashed. today i feel like sh*t, thank you for asking.

it looks pretty good, has that sort of *ENCHANTED* thing about it, think early Harry Potter / Princess Bridge / and that Oz film with Mila Kunis, same type of special effects but less horrid.

no vote atm

Yea I liked it as well.
 

Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
48,414
5,270
136
i was trying to watch Stardust - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486655/

but it turns out i have the flu, so i crashed. today i feel like sh*t, thank you for asking.

it looks pretty good, has that sort of *ENCHANTED* thing about it, think early Harry Potter / Princess Bridge / and that Oz film with Mila Kunis, same type of special effects but less horrid.

no vote atm
I remember enjoying it even though it sounded stupid on paper. Maybe a 7/10 or 7.5/10.
Yea I liked it as well.

Yeah I ended up really liking Stardust, it's like a modern Princess Bride.

Plus the main dude is Daredevil (on Netflix), so bonus points for that :D
 

DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
13,496
2,122
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so, i said i would do this, long time ago, and i have finally come round to do it.

You all know italian cinema; people think mostly of Fellini, Bicycle Thieves, and all that neorealism stuff. But you would be missing out on the best AND the worst of italian cinema if it was only that.

As much as stuff like Monicelli, Fellini, Bertolucci, are held in high esteem, people also generally find them boring .. and pompous.
Instead, we have a huge subculture of semi-independent cinema, which is what most people watch. And, this stuff is so popular, you can pretty much stop anyone, of any age, and start quoting lines from these films, and they will quote them with you.

These cultural-phenomena films differ by region, which is pretty much 1. the north, 2. the south, and 3. rome and a whole bunch of areas nearby.

Some you may now. Some, you will never see.

The first and foremost, one of the classic cinema actors most often cited as "best italian actor", "national treasure", "most versatile", is Toto'.
Toto' was THE star of black & white cinema in postwar italy. He stayed on B&W after color was available, as that was his medium, but you shouldn't think of him as a Buster Keaton. He was extremely prolific, and all his films were great hits. You would think from the sheer number of films he made that they woun't be very good, but he was a classically trained theater actor and he put a lot of effort into each one of them.

Now .. i can't stand him. All his films are very samey; his character is a rascal, not like Han Solo but rather like a rascally C3P0, bumbling and incompetent. He tries to get through the hardships of life with any exploit he can, and is mildly successful, but eventually the grim reality of existentialism defeats him. Think of Derek Trotter from Only Fools & Horses.

In a similar vein, but a proper comedy with some dark overtones, and frankly much more pleasant to watch, is the series of Don Camillo E Peppone.
The titular Don (priest) Camillo is the witty bishop of the local town, in the north region of Po'. He is always at odds with the moustachoed Communist major of town, a busybody and brash modernist who dreams of greatness but is utterly incompetent. Don Camillo himself is a conservative humanist. The clash of ideologies, in this frienemy situation, plus the excellent dialogue, is the core of the series.
It does paint a splendid and rather inaccurate picture of the priesthood, but aside form this minor crime, it's very good.

Also in a somewhat similar vein, is most of the work of Alberto Sordi. Sordi was not just a great actor (he did kinda lose it later in his life), but he knew how to pick his roles. He's always had a tragic streak (which *most* italian cinema has), but even so some films - generally less known outside italy - manage to be quite different from his norm. You probably know him for all the wrong reasons.
In particular in the 80s he rode the wave of the very popular Trash film. I'll get into this later.

You really, really want to grab Il Marchese Del Grillo. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082714/

Since we still have, in Rome, chunks of old roman buildings, you can imagine that period films are quite easy to film. Strip the set of everything, give the actors some reneissance clothing, and you're ready to shoot.
Because of this, a number of film set in the 1800 were shot, most of which ended up being great work. With two millennia worth of monarchy and papal control, we have plenty of ideas to fill screenplays with.

The titular Marquis is part of the late roman nobility, a Woosterian character, lazy and burlesque, doesn't take anything seriously, but has a profound understanding that the world around him is going to crash soon.

Again, you're just not going to find an italian film that isn't *also* a drama. Tragedy seems to be in the blood.
Also of the same type, you got Il Conte Tacchia, Nell' Anno Del Signore, Nel Nome Del Papa Re, and In Nome Del Popolo Sovrano. These are mostly comedies but they also have a political message about political power and, well, existentialism.

Of Sordi you should also grab Un Americano A Roma (this is gonna weird you out), Il Medico Della Mutua, and the sequel (BREATH) Il Prof. Dott. Guido Tersilli Primario Della Clinica Villa Celeste Convenzionata Con Le Mutue.
 
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DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
13,496
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now, the films above are all .. well, rather serious. Some just masquerade as comedies.

But, this stuff isn't what people watch.

I was gonna say "less serious but..", but italian cinema takes itself waaay too seriously. Take, for example, L'Armata Brancaleone. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060125/

Here we start being into the realm of film where most italians know the lines to the film and can understand vague film references thrown in to unrelated conversation.
Brancaleone is a surreal comedy in the style of Don Quixote, where the titular Knight Brancaleone is a fool who, although he does in fact descend from nobility, is now poor and his sense of "duty" puts him at a disadvantage to the lower-class people he has around him. He sets forth in search of greatness, but only succeeds in gathering a riffraff of dodgy characters who buy into his bullshit because they are too miserable to have anything else to hope for.

Now, even this film has a complicated monologue with Death at one point, that easily rivals The Seventh Seal.

As you should have guessed by now, italian directors can't just make a comedy. This will be the key of understanding what comes next.
(the film above has a sequel too, Brancaleone Alle Crociate. )

Similar to the above in theme you also get I Picari and Bertoldo, Bertoldino E Cacasenno.

Before the war, Mussolini understood that cinema had a great potential to influence minds, and gave a lot of money to create a modern film studio with all the bells and whistles - Cinecitta, the "city of cinema".
Cinecitta is a HUGE film studio, that has many times rivaled Hollywood, and it's been up and runnin since 1937. As explained before, the "great italian directors" were just not capable of making comedies, and because of the size of cinecitta, the amount of people it employed, in Rome it's pretty easy to put up a film production with not much money - just hire all those guy who are not working right npw .. probably because that big American production has wrapped up.

As such, there is a HUGE number of italian cinema, that is somewhere between a B movie, and a full size production, and purely aimed at the consumer market.

But, doesn't *every* country have that ?

Well, yea and no. In italy you get many highly talented actors who wind up working in these B movies, and a number of these films have reached cult status in italy.

starting from the next post .. the Commedia Sexy
 
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DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
13,496
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Commedia Sexy All' Italiana
isn't a film, but rather a genre. Similar to the Carry On films, it revolves around one or two female stars (preferably with Big Tits) and a host of male characters who suffer the urges of getting these femmes fatales. There is generally no nudity but rather just racy underwear, with at most some boob shots. These are pure comedies, and the joke is .. that italians are sexually frustrated.

There's a few different levels of production quality when it comes to these films, some are well sponsored, some are done on a shoestring. But, this isn't generally a good measure of how good they are as films. This picture should give you an idea:
Michela_Miti_e_Alvaro_Vitali_-_1981_-_Pierino_contro_tutti.jpg

That's from the film Pierino Contro Tuttti (1981). Pierino is the dennis-the-menace middle school student (yup .. we italians have our teen films set in middle school, not highschool), and the girl is the teacher who whooops dropped her papers.

I'm not saying you should rush out and buy all the Commedia Sexy film you can find, but if you like, say, 1980s Kung Fu films, this is kinda same thing.

In the 80s there was a rush to work in these films, you would get to be known by the public, but at the same time you had to worry if you were or were not doing a film "beneath you". One of the actors who worked a lot in Commedia Sexy and yet has managed to maintain a reputation of serious actor, is Lino Banfi. i mean .. look at this guy's filmography. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lino_Banfi
Most of these films spin out a bit or a lot into the otherwise similar Commedia Demenziale, for example, Banif's film Paulo Roberto Cotechino is more Commedia Sexy, while L'Allenatore Nel Pallone is more Commedia Demenziale. The accent on the latter is less on the tits, and more on the jokes.


We went form the 60s where TV was controlled essentially by the state (through RAI TV), and even if you wanted to make a comedy, you needed to be a serious actor .. and the 80s where, with the advent of Berlusconi and Mediaset, everything got geared towards consumerism and entertainment. If you were in TV, you wanted to work in these popular entertainment roles, but you also did not want to burn yourself.

For example, Renato Pozzetto (who is part of the "north" kind of comedy actors) has an average of 3 films per year between 1970 and 1990, same for Massimo Boldi, Christian DeSica (son of the famous director), Carlo Verdone, they all have mostly worked in these comedy films while still having a claim as serious actors. The thing is, most of these people were either born into cinema, or classically trained.
We have also, for example, Franco E Ciccio, a comedy due similar to Lauren & Hardy, who despite being theater actors who worked in productions of Moliere and Pirandello, they mostly worked in low budged B movies. A few of these are worth getting just for the sheer amount of WTF in them, like Ku Fu - Dalla Sicilia Con Furore (where Ku Fu is both a play on words of Cu'Fu', "who was it" in Sicilian dialect, and Kung Fu, and "dalla sicilia con furore" means "from Sicily with Fury", a play on the italian title of Bruce Lee's film Fist Of Fury). The aforementioned is at more or less the same level of production as The Toxic Avenger, so you are forewarned.

Ok, we can now venture forth into the really nasty shit.
 

DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
13,496
2,122
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Commedia Trash Italiana

now we're talking.

The cornerstone of the Trash comedy is Attila Flagello Di Dio.
Grab a bunch of extras sitting around Cinecitta' studio and have them improvise some barbarian clothing. Drive to Ostia beach and start shooting.
It is the completely absurdist and surreal story of Attila and his tribe of idiot barbarians, who decide to march on rome. Along the way many misfortunes befall them, until Attila is defeated and must escape by hot air balloon. I shit you not.
Attila's cloak is a leather coat with a bit of fur trim on it. The barbarians pull the cart they travel on by hand, because they have no horses. It's basically the same kind of film you would get if you and a bunch of yoru college friends had a professional camera and some vague understanding of filmmaking.
Youtube extract WITH SUBS
ok maybe the subs aren't the best.

The lead, Diego Abatantuono, again from the North, has gone on to star in a multitude of similar films, some major, some minor. There was a whole bunch of "Police Academy" films where TV comedians were recycled and pumped out about a film a year, and almost everyone has starred into at least one. Of note, aside form Attila, are Eccezzziunale Veramente, Viuuuuuulentemente Mia (which traslates to viiiooooolently mine), Sballato Gasato Completamente Fuso, Tifosi, I fichissimi. He them moved on to serious film with Turnee' (a Gabrial Salvadors film) and has more or less not done comedy since. Many of his later films are worth watching, such as Puerto Escondido, Mediterraneo, and Unfair Competition.

Alongside Abatantuono, Lino Banfi, Alvaro Vitali, Franco & Ciccio are the main leads of Trash comedy. (it's called Trash, in english, even in the italian language). The characteristics are absurdist comedy and low low budgets.

Another film which, as i understand it, every roman has to know on pain of death, is Febbre Da Cavallo. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074520/
Knowledge of this film is as ubiquitous as the roman Sanpietrino, the pyramid-shaped stone that paves just about all of rome. People of all ages will regularly quote the film and it's held in religious awe by every pureblood romano. If you gonna get a italian comedy, get this one. (you'll need subs)

And finally .. the master of Trash comedy: Paolo Villaggio, and his character Fantozzi.

Although not cheap in production, the films share the surrealist comedy style, and while the film is a critique of the sociopolitical condition in italy, it's done in an absurd way which i've seen nowhere else.
There are 9 films in the series, although only the first five are considered worth watching.
The character is the titular Ragioniere (accountant) Ugo Fantozzi (in italy, it is customary to call people by the title designed by their profession). He works for your typical Excessively Evil Corporation, where he is treated in an abysmal and inhuman way, but, as he is worthless italian garbage, he doesn't have the pride to stand up to his bosses. Yup .. *that* is the joke.

Anyway, Fantozzi, Il Secondo Tragico Fantozzi, Fantozzi Contro Tutti, Fantozzi Subisce Ancora, and Superfantozzi are all excellent .. well, the first two are amazing films. The other three are ok.
Also almost identical, with a differently named protagonist, but essentially the same character, is Fracchia La Belva Umana.

Less famous but worthy of a brief mention are Pippo Franco and Errico Montesano - you'll see him if you watch Il Conte Tacchia... which you should.
 
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DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
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Real Spaghetti Western

when mmericanos think spaghetti western, they think Sergio Leone and Clint Eastwood. nop.

Bud Spencer & Terence Hill is where it's at.

From the grim A Reason To Live, A Reason To Die http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069159/ to the Trinity series, these are the real stars of spaghetti western.
The comedy duo Bud Spencer & Terence Hill (both italian, despite the names) have starred in about 50 films, and frankly, there isn't one not worth watching. Many were Westerns, such as Lo Chiamavano Trinita' and the sequel Continuavano A Chiamarlo Trinita'. Others were inspired by the most wide-ranging type of situations, from race car drivers, to cops, to robbers, and they all share the same formula. Bud and Terence are brothers, and they don't get along because Terence is a rascal and he annoys Bud. Some bad guy shows up and acts in a reprimandable way, and Bud & Terence whop they' ass with PG13 cartoon violence.

I would simply recommend you get all of Bud Spencer's filmography, and also add Terence Hill's Poliziotto Superpiu'.



Cinepanettone

and finally we have the phenomenon called Cinema Panettone, where panettone is a typical cake eaten at christmas time; and likewise, these were films for the 18-20 crowd which are relased exactly at christmas time, and everyone goes to watch them en'masse. Needless to say, the earnings are spectacular.
The formula is always the same, a strong lead and a whole bunch of minor TV actors in their first film roles. The two classic hits are Vacanze DI Natale (1983) and Vacanze In America (1984), with the two following films being called, lazily AF, Vacanze Di Natale '90 (1990, duh) and Vacanze Di Natale '91 (i'm just gonna let you guess what year this was released in).






Not related, but worthy of a honorable mention, is the work of Massimo Troisi and Roberto Benigni BEFORE Benigni started working on garbage such as Pinocchio and Life Is Beautiful (Oscar indeed .. Oscar indeed). A particularly well known and loved film is Non Ci Resta Che Piangere. Troisi' character is a defeatist, miserable dreamer from Naples who wants something but does not know what. Benigni's character is an overtly-hyper maniac who is partly insane. I detest them both, but somehow that one film just work.
rIf you had the misfortune of sitting through Benigni's earlier comedy, you'd know why i can't stand Life Is Beautiful. But, i'd rather that you did not. Save yourself.

so, there you have it. This is more or less a panorama of what italian film is like in italy, not abroad. We tend to export our most sophisticated, most pompous and full of itself cinema, mostly because we're like that, and also because most cinema produced for the internal market just wouldn't work anywhere else (although, i hear that Bud Spencer is somewhat of a hero in Germany).
 
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