Life/Career/Family: stay in current city or move to hometown?

[jread]

I've been hit with a dilemma recently and I honestly have no idea what to do:

I grew up in Southeast Texas, where the towns are small, the landscape is flat, the mentality is backwards, and the humidity is terrible. All of my family and friends are there but I have yet to move back after moving away 7-years ago to Austin. Austin is an up-and-coming city with a great tech. industry, lots of opportunity, great landscape/climate, etc. but I have no family within a 5-hour drive and most of my friends left after college. I am still here with my wife, pets and a job that I really like. That's really it, though. The cost of living in Austin has increased to the point where I can't afford to do all that much extra beyond go to work and go home.

Now, my wife is on the "baby" kick and has just about talked me into it. The problem is that if we have a baby, I don't know if we can afford to keep our house, etc. She could keep working but we'd have to pay a ton in childcare, or she could quit working and we'd have to survive on my income somehow. There would be no grandparents around to watch the kids now and then or any of that as we have no family anywhere near here (her family is all in Florida). The upside is that I am pretty much a shoe-in for a higher job here at work that will pay about 10k more.

So, against all my better judgment, I saw a job posting back home (Beaumont) that is in my field (GIS) and sent in an application. The pay rate is actually about 10k more than I'm making here and the cost of living is dirt-cheap there. There would be the added benefit of having most of my family and friends in the same town and my kids could grow up knowing them. I would be able to support a family easily on that income in that area.

Well, I got a call from the hiring manager today and he is very excited about my resume. He likes the experience I have and he likes that I'm from the area and know it well. He described the job and it truly sounds awesome. I'd pretty much be free to start and manage my own projects as they are just now implementing a GIS in their organization. GIS jobs are so far and few between in that area that I can't believe there is something like this open there. He said that I am pretty much what he is looking for if I am still interested.

Now I'm faced with the decision and I don't know what I should do. Stay here in the city I love that is expensive and where I have no family/friends around, or move back home to a city and don't really like but where life is slower and cheaper and I have all the people I grew up with.

What is more important? The biggest fear of mine is moving back home and regretting the hell out of it. Then again, my life is much different and I have other priorities than I did when I left home in the first place.

 

[LS20]

lawl ... your profile is identical to a friend of mine.. Blowmont --> Austin --> GIS .. except he has no family
he used GIS to get a job with an oil firm in Houston paying almost double what city-mapping paid.. if you go that route, you'll still get $$, and be reasonably close (1hr) to extended family

 

[jread]

Originally posted by: LS20
lawl ... your profile is identical to a friend of mine.. Blowmont --> Austin --> GIS .. except he has no family
he used GIS to get a job with an oil firm in Houston paying almost double what city-mapping paid.. if you go that route, you'll still get $$, and be reasonably close (1hr) to extended family

Yes, but I couldn't possibly live in Houston and keep my sanity

 

[FoBoT]

it sure is nice to have family close when you have small kids

 

[D1gger]

There is a certain romanticism about moving home, but don't be fooled that it will be all roses.

You have painted a picture that says to me that you really want to go back, but how does your wife feel about it? Is she from the same place, or is she more of a big city person. When she is ready to go back to work, will she be able to find a job she likes?

At one point in my life I thought I wanted to move back to my home town, but after being there for a few months I realized that I had outgrown it, and I left to struggle in the big city and haven't looked back since.

 

[Garet Jax]

Originally posted by: FoBoT
it sure is nice to have family close when you have small kids

Don't underestimate this especially if they are willing to help....

 

[jread]

Originally posted by: D1gger
There is a certain romanticism about moving home, but don't be fooled that it will be all roses.

You have painted a picture that says to me that you really want to go back, but how does your wife feel about it? Is she from the same place, or is she more of a big city person. When she is ready to go back to work, will she be able to find a job she likes?

At one point in my life I thought I wanted to move back to my home town, but after being there for a few months I realized that I had outgrown it, and I left to struggle in the big city and haven't looked back since.

Well, my wife is actually for the move to my hometown as she feels like she'd enjoy living there. It's only an hour from the Houston airport if we need to go anywhere, etc.

I am afraid of going there and feeling like I don't fit anymore as you mentioned. There is also a part of me that would prefer for my kids to grow up in a progressive city like Austin with all the things for kids to do instead of my hometown, which was boring, depressing and alarmingly racist (though not as bad as when I was a kid).

 

[zoiks]

Moving back to Stuckeyville eh? I suspect that if you moved there, you probably won't be able to get out of that place for a long time. You could try and apply in other cities or even out of state. Sure you wouldn't have the old friends but you could make new ones. Things would work out over time.
But thats what I would do. If I went back and stayed near my parents or relatives, I'd go crazy.

 

[michaels]

There comes a time when you are have to remove yourself from the proverbial tit of family/friends.

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: michaels
There comes a time when you are have to remove yourself from the proverbial tit of family/friends.

It's called college.

But that tit comes in pretty damn handy once you start your own family you want a night away from the kids and Grandma/Grandpa are happy to take in the rugrats. Or when you have to put up with lugging a couple young kids and all the crap that kids require through the airport a few times a year to go visit your family.

If you hate your family, that's one thing. If they are good people that you want to actually expose your children to, then it's nice having them nearby.

OP - my wife and I faced a similar situation. We chose to take the better cost of living and "quieter" life in the smaller town near our family than live the big city life 6+ hours away from them.

With the money we save each year moving, and free baby sitters in the way of family, we can easily visit the big cities when we like and not have to put up the high prices and crappy traffic the rest of the year.

 

[SpunkyJones]

Originally posted by: jread

Originally posted by: D1gger
There is a certain romanticism about moving home, but don't be fooled that it will be all roses.

You have painted a picture that says to me that you really want to go back, but how does your wife feel about it? Is she from the same place, or is she more of a big city person. When she is ready to go back to work, will she be able to find a job she likes?

At one point in my life I thought I wanted to move back to my home town, but after being there for a few months I realized that I had outgrown it, and I left to struggle in the big city and haven't looked back since.

Well, my wife is actually for the move to my hometown as she feels like she'd enjoy living there. It's only an hour from the Houston airport if we need to go anywhere, etc.

I am afraid of going there and feeling like I don't fit anymore as you mentioned. There is also a part of me that would prefer for my kids to grow up in a progressive city like Austin with all the things for kids to do instead of my hometown, which was boring, depressing and alarmingly racist (though not as bad as when I was a kid).

If you have kids, you'll be too busy to notice whether you fit in anymore. By the time the kids move out and go to college, you will fit in.

 

[intogamer]

I'm in HS and I would say out of the city. Everyone is too materialistic in the city.