Lets start a joke thread!

[Pastore]

A man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or nine years of marriage, his wife finally said, if you fart any more, you'll fart your guts out. Being a butcher, the wife decided to put pig scraps in his pants so he would wake up, and not do it anymore. She put the scraps in his pants that night.
He woke up in the morning and went across the hall to the bathroom. Two long hours later, he came out and stated, honey, you were right about me farting my guts out BUT WITH THE GRACE OF THE DEAR LORD AND THESE TWO FINGERS. I GOT THEM BACK IN THERE.

bwahaha!

 

[CromNogger]

stupidity is so funny sometimes

you suck!... ha.... oh damn that wasn't funny..

 

[nateholtrop]

repost's don't you love em

nate

 

[Doomer]

What did the canibal do right after he dumped his girlfriend ?


































He wiped his A--.

 

[richardycc]

Heard this rumor/joke on the radio the other day that Bin laden had a nightmare that he would die on an America's holiday. So he went to his dream analyst to find out if he will die on Columbus Day, Thanksgiving or Christmas, etc?

His dream analyst said "it doesn't matter, when the day you died, it will become an America's holiday."

 

[apoppin]

<< Lets start a joke thread! >>



Another? Most of the threads started here ARE jokes.





My contribution (above).




And . . . what do you get when you genetically cross an elephant with a peanut?































Peanut butter that NEVER forgets and an elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

 

[Pastore]

One of the better jokes on the planet

A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are so small. ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'' she asks.
The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?''

Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, ''I know how to make them larger!''

''How!?!?!?'' she asks.

''Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs.''

''Well how long does it take?'' she asks.

''They should expand over the years,'' he answers.

''How did you know that?'' she wonders.

''I dunno, but it sure worked for your ass, didn't it?'''

 

[Josh]

<< One of the better jokes on the planet

A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are so small. ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'' she asks.
The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?''

Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, ''I know how to make them larger!''

''How!?!?!?'' she asks.

''Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs.''

''Well how long does it take?'' she asks.

''They should expand over the years,'' he answers.

''How did you know that?'' she wonders.

''I dunno, but it sure worked for your ass, didn't it?''' >>



What's with you and asses?