Leaving HS.. what to do about my girl

[Deleted member 4644]

About a month ago, I posted a message explaining that I was friends with a Muslim girl who I was starting to *really* like. She is going to Stanford, me to UCLA.. well... in the past month, we have grown to really like each other.. in fact, I would say that I love her..

Not many people, and probably no girls, have shown themselves so close to my beliefs and ideals as she has. Im not really that religious, but other than that, we agree about almost everything. Now she is moving about an drive hour away in less than three weeks, and Stanford in about 2 months.

My question is- should I even care? I think about her all the time.. and maybe one other girl has been like that for me.. (6th grade .. hehe) My "girlfriend" that I went to formal with never came close to causing this much emotion in me.

Needs Advice-

Citizen Segan

Edit- I guess my question also is, especially for those of you older than me, do long-dist relationships ever work? ( LOL.. one great thing about her being religious.. i *totally* trust her hehe)

 

[Azraele]

Of course you should care. An important person in your life will be living far away. Sit down and talk to her about your relationship, what it means to you both, and long-term possibilities. Do you both want to attempt a long-distance relationship?

It's not going to be easy, chin up.

 

[Raspewtin]

after a few months in UCLA, you will be cured.

 

[Deleted member 4644]

*bump* hehe.. sorry, but i really am getting torn up by this

 

[RedFox1]

It's definitely tough adjusting to a change like that. I just graduated college, and my girlfriend and I had to adjust from living in the same building to living an hour away from each other. Prior to leaving school, I never realized how tough it was going to be.

As long as you understand that things are going to be different for the two of you, it's just a matter of getting accustomed to not seeing each other as often. If you both work at it though, I think you'll be all right. Just remember that things won't be the same, but they can be just as good. Find different ways to keep in touch, and make sure you keep in contact at regular intervals. For my girlfriend and I, it took a few weeks to get adjusted.

Good luck, hope things work out well for the two of you.

-RedFox1

 

[AdamDuritz99]

ok man, dont want to be a downer, but uhmm long distance relationship seldom work, i mean very very rare. i was in the same exact situation as you last year. it was fine till about december, then it came crashing down. I when it does..it really really hurts. I know i loved her(still do), and we said if anybody could make a long distance relationship work, we could. we were crazy for each otehr. but it just didnt work. what i'm saying, unless you want to really try to make it work(defing the laws of physics), and i mean heart and soul, then try. But i would just relax on the relationship. but be very good friends. and hopefully in the future you will have a chance to be with her. i wish i did.


Good Luck

peace
sean

 

[Shantanu]

Bone her first. Break up later.

 

[pulse8]

I was in the same situation about 3 years ago. I ended up breaking up with the girl when I moved to LA because we had to face the fact that we weren't going to be in the same city any time soon. LA and San Fran are pretty close. I was in Miami and my ex is in Pittsburgh. We made things work and had a good 2 years while we were together and she was away at school. It can work. It takes effort and a lot of understanding. If you two really love each other, nothing can stop that, but you have to be honest with each other and yourself. When we were faced with your decision, we figured we might as well give it a shot. The only bad that could come out of it is that it doesn't work and we break up, but if we never tried, we'd never know.

 

[RedFox1]

On the other hand, from what I've saw during four years of college, girls generally don't have any problem with a long-distance relationship. It's the guys who don't like 'em. If you're all for it, I don't think you'll have a problem.

You should talk to her though.

-RedFox1

 

[Deleted member 4644]

hmm.. ok. It sounds like I really need to talk to her about it all.. (we do have the opportunity to be together in Italy soph year) but I guess I really need to find out where she is- it would be stupid to think she was "waiting" for me if she had moved on herself... thanks for the replies.. anyone with any more info .. i need it

 

[Stark]

There are waaay too many good looking girls at UCLA. You'll never last. Just stay away from my cousin.

 

[bunker]

I've got to say I had the same problem when I left for college (10 yrs ago). My g/f was going to be a senior in high school and I was going 725 miles away from school. I decided to break off the relationship even though I really did love her.

I believe you may be too young to know if she's the 'one' or not. Go to college and you will meet a lot of women and it will be very difficult to stay faithful, trust me .

I met my wife my sophomore year at school.

 

[Deleted member 4644]

*sighs* .. well i got to go to bed soon, ill check back in the morning

 

[Deleted member 4644]

bump..

 

[Azraele]

<<I guess my question also is, especially for those of you older than me, do long-dist relationships ever work>>

Yes, they can, although it requires commitment, hard work, and adjustment. Talk to her about you expectations, when you might possibly see each other (once a week, once a month, holidays, etc.) Keep in touch with her, email, send flowers, call, let her know you are thinking of her and miss her. The key thing is communication. You need to talk to her about both or your futures.

 

[amnesiac]

I'd say it all depends on how much you both love each other and if you REALLY think it would be worth all the effort and pain involved in a long distance relationship.

When I went to college, I was only 25 miles from my GF, but that still meant I spent most of my weekends away from campus when I should have been socializing with people in my dorm, etc. I believe having a long distance relationship CAN work but it is much easier when you're not both trying to adjust to a new environment, i.e. college.

My current g/f is moving back home, 3000 miles away, and while I love her dearly, neither of us want to deal with the pain of such separation. There are those who so vehemently believe in the power of love that they'd be willing to make such efforts, but I personally don't think breaking up is the end of the world..

 

[cmdavid]

lets see.. long distance relationships...
i lived on a military base in japan for most of my life.. thats where i went to high school and graduated and what not... as you may be able to figure out... every year there were a bunch of couples that had to deal w/ that issue of long distance relationships that were good friends of mine.... either because one of them was graduating and going off to somewhere in america for school and the other was still in high school.. or they were both graduating and going to schools on opposite sides of the country... or one's parents were getting relocated so they had to move... regardless the issue of long distance relationships is more complicated than just.. is it a good idea...

however.. i can tell you that the majority of the long distance relationships that were attempted did not work out... not to be discouraging but that's just the facts...

now... an encouraging word... the ones that did work were obviously going to work because these people were not only boyfriend/girlfriend but also best friends, good family friends... and what not... they were real dedicated w/ their relationships and let them work... trust is going to end up being the strongest issue... all i gotta say is that it is possible.. so good luck..

 

[Ameesh]

wait for college, college girls are on the pill.