Two neutrons walk into a bar and they started drinking.
"Hey, " one neutron says to the bartender, "what's the charge?"
"No charge."
-------------------------------
A man goes shopping for a guitar. He enters the first guitar store.
"Your prices are pretty decent," he says to the owner, "But what's this deal with a contract?"
The owner shrugs. The man goes to another store.
"Your guitars look great," he says to the next owner, "But what's this deal with signing a contract?"
He leaves again and enters the third store.
"WOW! Your guitars look really great and your prices are cheap," he says, "Please tell me I don't have to sign any contract."
The owner replies.
"Don't worry, sir! You can buy anything here. No strings attached!"
-------------------------------
The owner of a newspaper was looking for a new secretary, so he puts up a "Now Hiring" sign on the front.
Moments later, a dog comes in wearing the sign on his neck.
"What's this?" he asks. "Are you trying to apply for the job?"
The dog nods.
"Well, I guess since I have to abide the no discrimination law I'll have to give you a test before I hire you," says the owner.
"The candidate must be able to type 60 words per minute. Lets see you do that," the owner orders.
The dog jumps up next to the type writer and types 80 words in one minute.
"Wow," exclaims the owner, "That is really amazing! Another thing the candidate must do is be able to arrange files in the cabinet in less than five minutes."
The dog grabs a bunch of files and in four minutes he arranges them all.
"Damn, you must be some kind of dog genuis," he remarks, "Well the final test is for the candidate to be bilingual."
The dog looks at him.
"MEOW!"
--------------------------
A light bulb visits another light bulb.
"Hey, my friend, watts up!"
---------------------------
What is OJ's website address?
www.///\\\\////\\\\///.com
---------------------------
How do you separate the men from the boys in Iraq?
"With a crowbar!"
---------------------------
A genie appears to three gay midgets.
"I'll give you anything that you wish for. All you have to do is run towards that hill and yell out your wish."
The first midget runs and yells.
"I wanna be like Madonna."
Poof! He turns into a Madonna look alike.
The second midget runs and yells.
"I wanna look like Cindy Crawford."
Poof! He turns into an exact replica of Cindy Crawford.
The third midget starts running, but trips.
"I wanna be like.. Oh Crap!"
----------------------------
"Hey, " one neutron says to the bartender, "what's the charge?"
"No charge."
-------------------------------
A man goes shopping for a guitar. He enters the first guitar store.
"Your prices are pretty decent," he says to the owner, "But what's this deal with a contract?"
The owner shrugs. The man goes to another store.
"Your guitars look great," he says to the next owner, "But what's this deal with signing a contract?"
He leaves again and enters the third store.
"WOW! Your guitars look really great and your prices are cheap," he says, "Please tell me I don't have to sign any contract."
The owner replies.
"Don't worry, sir! You can buy anything here. No strings attached!"
-------------------------------
The owner of a newspaper was looking for a new secretary, so he puts up a "Now Hiring" sign on the front.
Moments later, a dog comes in wearing the sign on his neck.
"What's this?" he asks. "Are you trying to apply for the job?"
The dog nods.
"Well, I guess since I have to abide the no discrimination law I'll have to give you a test before I hire you," says the owner.
"The candidate must be able to type 60 words per minute. Lets see you do that," the owner orders.
The dog jumps up next to the type writer and types 80 words in one minute.
"Wow," exclaims the owner, "That is really amazing! Another thing the candidate must do is be able to arrange files in the cabinet in less than five minutes."
The dog grabs a bunch of files and in four minutes he arranges them all.
"Damn, you must be some kind of dog genuis," he remarks, "Well the final test is for the candidate to be bilingual."
The dog looks at him.
"MEOW!"
--------------------------
A light bulb visits another light bulb.
"Hey, my friend, watts up!"
---------------------------
What is OJ's website address?
www.///\\\\////\\\\///.com
---------------------------
How do you separate the men from the boys in Iraq?
"With a crowbar!"
---------------------------
A genie appears to three gay midgets.
"I'll give you anything that you wish for. All you have to do is run towards that hill and yell out your wish."
The first midget runs and yells.
"I wanna be like Madonna."
Poof! He turns into a Madonna look alike.
The second midget runs and yells.
"I wanna look like Cindy Crawford."
Poof! He turns into an exact replica of Cindy Crawford.
The third midget starts running, but trips.
"I wanna be like.. Oh Crap!"
----------------------------
