Latest quotes from Iraqi Stand-up Comedian aka Information Minister

[dahunan]

Iraq Says U.S. Forces 'Slaughtered' in Baghdad
Mon April 7, 2003 02:54 AM ET
BAGHDAD (Reuters) - Iraq said on Monday that Iraqi forces were slaughtering U.S. forces attacking Baghdad and denied that 65 U.S. tanks had burst into the city and captured palaces of President Saddam Hussein.
"Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad," Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf told reporters in central Baghdad. "Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected. Iraqis are heroes."

"We will continue to slaughter them," he said, rejecting reports of a major U.S. advance into the center of the city. "Do not believe those liars," he said.



Link - Reuters

 

[mechBgon]

That guy does take the cake. I still wonder if he could be the one who tipped off Saddam's location for the decapitation strike, and is just playing the court-jester part until he can get away safely.

 

[Marshallj]

lol, I heard that. I also heard him say, "and I will encourage them to increase the rate of commiting suicide"

 

[Kadarin]

He's playing to the Arab media and the "Arab street".. Though I have to admit he's at his "best" when he's taking questions from the BBC; he's earned his footnote in history, I believe.

 

[HappyPuppy]

Will he squeal like a pig when he has a Marine's M-16 stuck in his ear? Only time will tell.

 

[Rudee]

I laugh everytime I see that clown talk on TV. The entire US army could be parked right beside him, with a US tank commander tapping him on the shoulder, and he will still deny it's happening. What an idiot.

 

[Jimbo]

I see the next Yakov Smirnov!

In six months, somewhere in Vegas:

In Ba'athist Iraq, the PARTY looks for you!!!!

 

[catnap1972]

Originally posted by: Rudee
I laugh everytime I see that clown talk on TV. The entire US army could be parked right beside him, with a US tank commander tapping him on the shoulder, and he will still deny it's happening. What an idiot.

It's all just a big Hollywood production dont'cha know?

 

[Siddhartha]

Originally posted by: dahunan


Iraq Says U.S. Forces 'Slaughtered' in Baghdad
Mon April 7, 2003 02:54 AM ET
BAGHDAD (Reuters) - Iraq said on Monday that Iraqi forces were slaughtering U.S. forces attacking Baghdad and denied that 65 U.S. tanks had burst into the city and captured palaces of President Saddam Hussein.
"Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad," Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf told reporters in central Baghdad. "Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected. Iraqis are heroes."

"We will continue to slaughter them," he said, rejecting reports of a major U.S. advance into the center of the city. "Do not believe those liars," he said.



Link - Reuters

He probably is not given any choice in what he can say.

 

[burnedout]

Jonah Goldberg on the Iraqi Info minister:

"I've got to say I love this Information Minister guy. He's like a Muslim Michael Moore on the Atkins diet. But, as numerous readers have suggested, his press briefings are Monty Pythonesque. It's as if he's borrowing from both the Dead Parrot sketch and the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. We say the Medina division has been degraded by 70 percent, he insists: "'Tis but a flesh wound." We say the Baghdad division has been destroyed, he says: "We have Coalition forces exactly where we want them." We say there's no fight left in the enemy, he says: "We're just resting." Terry McAuliffe should offer this guy a job."

Watching old "Baghdad Bob" on TV early this A.M. was an absolute exercise in comedy.

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

pulled this from some article...

"They are sick in their minds. They say they brought 65 tanks into center of city. I say to you this talk is not true," al-Sahhaf said. "There is no presence of American infidels in the city of Baghdad, at all."

Wow, what a whopper!

 

[exp]

Tis but a flesh wound

LOL...I was reminded of the same thing. After he began speaking his own patented brand of English I was laughing so hard my sides hurt. Is this clown not a cartoon character brought to life?

I hope we still get to see him after the war. I can't wait to see him deliver his briefings from a jail cell (or a straightjacket)...*still* insisting that there are no Americans in Baghdad.

 

[yowolabi]

It's only a matter of time before an American soldier walks up and interrupts his speech about the Americans not having entered Baghdad.

 

[Spyro]

Originally posted by: yowolabi
It's only a matter of time before an American soldier walks up and interrupts his speech about the Americans not having entered Baghdad.

LOL

 

[Chadder007]

But...but....I thought the US forces were thousands of miles from Baghdad. How could they be there now?

 

[catnap1972]

Originally posted by: yowolabi
It's only a matter of time before an American soldier walks up and interrupts his speech about the Americans not having entered Baghdad.

While another one steals his wallet!

 

[Chadder007]

Sorta off topic, but does anyone used to watch Babylon 5 remember the IGN news (or whatever it was called) when they kept denying stuff and then they busted out all of the sudden saying Everything has been a lie on the news and it was the government....then they were cut off the air.?

 

[jjones]

BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.

ARTHUR: What?

BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.

ARTHUR: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.

BLACK KNIGHT: Then you shall die.

ARTHUR: I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!

BLACK KNIGHT: I move for no man.

ARTHUR: So be it!

[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]

ARTHUR: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.

BLACK KNIGHT: 'Tis but a scratch.

ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm's off!

BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn't.

ARTHUR: Well, what's that, then?

BLACK KNIGHT: I've had worse.

ARTHUR: You liar!

BLACK KNIGHT: Come on, you pansy!

[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]

ARTHUR: Victory is mine! We thank Thee Lord, that in Thy mer--

BLACK KNIGHT: Hah! Come on, then.

ARTHUR: What?

BLACK KNIGHT: Have at you!

ARTHUR: Eh. You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.

BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?

ARTHUR: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.

BLACK KNIGHT: Yes, I have.

ARTHUR: Look!

BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound.

ARTHUR: Look, stop that.

BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken! Chickennn!

ARTHUR: Look, I'll have your leg. Right!

[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right leg off]

BLACK KNIGHT: Right. I'll do you for that!

ARTHUR: You'll what?

BLACK KNIGHT: Come here!

ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?

BLACK KNIGHT: I'm invincible!

ARTHUR: You're a looney.

BLACK KNIGHT: The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then.

[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's last leg off]

BLACK KNIGHT: Oh? All right, we'll call it a draw.

ARTHUR: Come, Patsy.

BLACK KNIGHT: Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!

Sound familiar? Evertime I hear the Iraqi Information Minister I can't help but think of this scene from the Holy Grail.

 

[Mookow]

Anyone want in on a pool for how long it will be until the Information Minister claims to have 2 divisions of the Replublican Guard inside Washington D.C.?

 

[CinderElmo]

I want an American soldier to walk up to his podium and prove that that big clump of microphones he always has in front of him is just a prop. Only then will I be satisfied the war is truly won.

 

[Red Dawn]

Run away..Run away!!! Iraqi Soldiers Hauling ass to get away from American Tanks in Baghdad

 

[milagro]

This explains it...

 

[Mandrill]

Apparently some people believe him Arab World Dismayed

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: Mandrill
Apparently some people believe him Arab World Dismayed

:disgust:

"As Arabs, we cannot see this and not move," said a man in his early 30s, who would not give his name for fear of government retribution. "We are selling ourselves for a higher cost, for God, not for Saddam."

But it's ok for Saddam to torture and murder because he's Arab.

 

[Sxotty]

I saw Al jazeera had an article about the heavy casulties coalition forces took, based on his statement, and people actually think it is news lol. Of course they deleted the article after 5 minutes (of when I saw it anyway b/c I went back to get a copy but it had dissapeared).