I've always been the person that asked "why?" when it came to things. It taught me two things... you won't always get an answer, and sometimes, people don't like being asked.
(The latter is especially true as a kid.) I bring this up because when I see what seems like a rise in mental health issues, I wonder why that is. Another thing that I've learned over the years is that when something is a large scale, there usually isn't one, easy answer, and that's one thing that drives my curiosity. Along those lines, I'm assuming there's more than the simple answer of "we're just more aware and are testing more". One thing that I've wondered is if we're seeing more issues (both mentally and physically) due to environmental abuse from corporations. I believe it was also on Last Week Tonight where Oliver talked about how pretty much everyone that has been tested has shown levels of Teflon in their blood. The only sample they found that didn't have it happened to be one that was kept from a soldier during the Korean War. How do these chemicals affect us?
I've dealt with my own set of problems over the years. I know people really hate this answer when it comes to mental health, but
fortunately, being positive has largely been the most helpful thing for me. I do emphasize "fortunately", because I know it isn't always that easy. It's also worth noting that I'm not "fixing" my problem(s); I'm just quelling them. Just like a dam can reduce the water level in a downstream area, it doesn't do it by making the water disappear... it just holds it back. Although, I've also come to accept that I can't fix my issues, but rather, I have to learn to live with them.
I never really had any help with this sort of thing growing up, so I had to figure out a lot of it on my own. My mom did have me see a therapist once while growing up after I admitted to having issues with depression. (I think I was a junior in college at that point.) Honestly, it seemed useless to me. I realize that therapy isn't a quick process and it requires building some rapport, but the session seemed so generic. I never went back after that first session. Sadly, it probably took well over 10 years after that attempt to really get to a place where I felt "better".
In being in more of a step-parent role over the past couple of years, I've noticed a few things that... honestly... make me feel like I'm looking into a mirror of the past. The issues that I see in the kids are pretty much the exact same things that I dealt with, and I think I can sum it up with three interconnected issues:
1. Self-loathing
2. Failure
3. Lack of Self
Self-loathing likely doesn't need much explanation; it's a lack of self-esteem. What I think really is important is that it doesn't matter how much good or decent things exist in your life, you will focus so heavily on the negative, and worst of all, you usually blame yourself for it. Failure is somewhat of a simplistic issue, but it's more about the inability to accept failure. Lack of self is a bit of a weird one, but I look at it as the ability to define who you are without just giving me physical characteristics. I see people try something new with the hope that they're good at it, but they end up failing. There isn't this desire to improve, but rather, they fall back on #1 and just wallow in self-pity/hatred.
Even though I've dealt with and have a decent understanding of these issues, I don't know if I have a great answer on how to address them. I can say that it wasn't even until the last few years that I felt like I've mostly gotten over a fear of failure. I know a good bit of that came down to being willing to accept that I wasn't good at something, and most importantly,
that's okay. In the end, I would push myself to work on it more. Amusingly, one thing that I found helpful for this was one type of game that I had sworn off in the past... Rogue-Likes/Lites. Also, I've gotten back into doing karate after last doing it about 17 years ago. In the past, I'd get frustrated if I felt like I wasn't doing well or choking under pressure. (Performing a kata by yourself in front of ~200 people will do that to you.) Needless to say, it's a lot different now. Unsurprisingly, after 17 years, my body isn't nearly as young and spry.
Also, I don't really get frustrated anymore. My only wish is that I could pause class to write down things that I'd like to work on when I notice that I might not be doing as well.
One area that I've noticed some problems in is the lack of responsibility placed onto children -- especially as they get older -- and how some end up with a poor work ethic as a result. Work ethic also doesn't even need to specifically refer to school or a job, but even taking care of things at home whether they be your messes (cleaning your room, etc.) or helping out (dishes, pets, etc.). Rewards need to be properly tied into the responsibilities. In my mind, this ties into #3 (Lack of Self) from above. It's kind of a weird concept, but it's just that we feel good when we know that there were fruits to our labor. We also generally don't feel the same when we get something for nothing.
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