- Sep 20, 2006
- 9,140
- 50
- 86
i found this in someone's blog while trolling through myspace. (no jokes about myspace, please). corrected some of the grammar, and for the most part, the words are completely the writer's (some guy named Whilly Bermudez). there is one part where i wasn't sure what he was saying, but overall...the guy gives good advice!!!!
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MISTAKE ..1: Thinking That All Men Are The "Same"
We have absolutely nothing to do with your ex boyfriend/s, period. A lot of women that I have dated or come across tend to show their 'scars of war' through how they express themselves about men overall. They hint at the past and how terrible guys could be etc. Let me tell you that as long as you go into new relationships with your fist clenched tight still gripping on what previously has been done to you- you will not meet happiness!
Yes, us men have a 'society wide' negative track record, but let me say that these days women are not too far behind. But you can take comfort in knowing that us men put up a good 'macho' front so that we don't show you just how much we?re actually looking forward to finding love. Us men can be devious and disconnected but I assure you we will give it all up for the 'right girl'. When a guy doesn't want to be with you, or doesn't treat you as he should- he has already established that you're not the one for him. As cruel as it sounds, it?s true! My girlfriends call me often and share their stories with me about the person they are dating etc. and here's what I tell them: there are only 3 roadways that us men consider in issuing a 'final verdict' on a potential woman of interest:
1. Keep as a friend
2. Keep as a friend with benefits
3. Keep for a formal relationship
*Only you are responsible for which category you fall into with regards to your personality, way of being, your qualities & flaws, even looks, etc. If you fit the criteria of what the other person is seeking and the chemistry is right, you might not have to complain about him causing you any harm. But you have a lot to do with it! Women sometimes are very unrealistic with their expectations of someone that they're dating. Maybe you haven't acted as positively as you should, perhaps bringing up the past to the new guy is a problem, or maybe, your inability to let go of the past is hurting your chances with someone who just might be a real nice guy.
How about this---
He acts tough, but he just dropped you off and as he's thinking of you while he blasts some Keith Sweat-Ill give all my love to you or some Bon Jovi- In these Arms!
I mean this guy is in touch with his emotional side- which is not a bad thing. So why do you want to throw him in with your ex boyfriend who cheated on you with your 'best friend'??
Leave the light on and unclench your fists! Here's a "what if" scenario: What if the new guy did something that he didn't mean early on? ( nothing major) Give him a chance to make it right. If he didn't care he wouldn't care to make it right with you. Give the new guy a chance to screw up, but he might not and surprise you.
Think about it the time is now & the past is gone! Stop comparing- we are all different!
P.S. Trust me, I find myself giving the possibility of love much more importance than those one night stands of yesterday.
MISTAKE ..2: Sending Mixed Signals (Black or White - No Gray)
You like him? You don't like him? What do you mean ?you?re not sure?? Stop, take breather and think things through. Most girls that write to us about a guy that won?t leave them alone are actually responsible for that. Ladies, don't accept gifts, don't enter text message contests, don't agree to outings, and watch what you say. You don't have to mistreat someone just to let him know that you?re not interested, or that you just don't feel the same etc. But you need to be straight up and make sure that you were clear with them. Otherwise, you might have some issues to deal with that could have been avoided.
Mean what you say and Say what you mean, at all times. Most of us guys get it the first time. No need to feel sorry for someone that is sweet to you, if you just don't like them that way. It is what it is, and it's your obligation as a moral human being to be clear. By the way, when a guy asks for your phone number and you give it to them, we are always going to think that you?re interested~! Even if you felt bad and gave him a wrong number it?s not nice. Simply, use the old 'I have a boyfriend' speech or something reasonable. They might be strangers but a bit of human courtesy is good for your soul. If it's a guy that you've been dating but you've noticed more and more that you don't want to date them anymore, then tell them. Don't just start dodging the phone calls etc. KARMA!
Don't do anything that can hurt someone, because down the road it could be you that's dealing with someone's mixed signals. Are we crystal?
MISTAKE ..3: Sleeping With Him Too Quickly
There is no actual way to measure what sleeping with someone too quickly actually means. But yes, we do pay attention to this. The logic is simple really. If you sleep with me in light speed, you probably did with those before me. If the guy you're dealing with has not yet decided which of the 3 categories to place you in, and you sleep with him too soon- well your fate is now sealed. Welcome to category 3 or maybe none at all.
Unfortunately, for women society still crucifies you in regards to sexuality and morality. So us mean can sleep with the world and remain 'business as usual'. But a woman does it and there are a few names that will be used. As a result of this, women have a meter or counter attached to them and every guy you sleep with becomes a new 'body count'. I know this sucks ladies but it is what it is! Just think about what you want to do and what you don't. Don't put yourself in situations that might get you in trouble too fast.
Remember, us men are only really considering three factors:
1. Keep as a friend
2. Keep as a friend with benefits
3. Keep for a formal relationship
WHICH DO YOU WANT TO BE IN??
MISTAKE ..4: Playing Too Many Love Games
One thing that completely baffles me about women is how bad they seek equality in regards to societies standards verses men's. But then they contradict themselves by resorting back to the ancient beliefs. Ladies, don't make yourself seem too busy if you?re not, don't make yourself seem like you?re made of steel- because you?re not, don't hold back from calling if you feel you want to, and don't hold back from deciding that you do like the person that you?re dating.
Times have changed, and the only thing that should remain is 'Chivalry'. Us men should still exercise romance, kindness, and regard for the lady. We should open doors, we should pull up your chair, we should even throw down our cape over a puddle! However, women should not be so worried about who calls first, second, third, or how soon they call. We?re too old for games, and it?s energy that we could invest in spending time and getting to know each other- having fun. Speaking of fun: Men like a woman who is opinionated and takes some initiative sometimes. There is nothing more disappointing for me, than to have a woman tell me that 'its up to me' when I ask what she feels like doing tonight. Surely, you have an opinion!
We will surprise you and be creative a first couple of times, but it is to your benefit to state an opinion of how / where you would like to enjoy yourself. So don't play those "you're the guy- so you have certain duties" game! We?re grown and ready to be at our best, so that whenever the good Lord decides to send us 'Mr./Ms. Right' we will be ready for them. All you have to do is be cool and keep it mature.
I was in Chicago recently, and a girl walked up to me to tell me something. I'm so used to the 'Miami way of life' that I thought she was just going to ask if I had a light or something but instead she said, "I think you're really cute"! I was surprised with her honestly and willingness to detach herself from "the norm". That being that women don't normally approach men of their liking etc. But you know what? I was impressed! And we danced and had a lot of fun. Eventually, a social evolution will commence.
Who calls, who invites, that's irrelevant. The point is to spend time finding out if this is indeed a match.
MISTAKE ..5: Becoming a 'Chameleon' And Losing Your Identity
You don't know how many dates I've been on with women that have told me how much they love everything that I love. Listen, it?s great to have things in common with someone, but don't overdo it. Always be you and be real. If you're asked how you feel about a person, place, or thing- tell them honestly. It doesn't matter how much you like this guy, you need to keep it real. I love it when a girl tells me that she quit smoking cigarettes, and then I smell them in her hair. She said that because I let her know that I'm a non smoker and I don't like smokers around me but now I think she's a liar and someone that she isn't.
Everyone has the right to pick & choose whoever is for them, and the least that you can do is be as real as possible so that they may successfully accomplish that. More importantly, you want someone that wants you for you! Some that appreciates your little flaws also, but let them be turned on by whom you are- with as little make up as possible. If you're a party animal and this is the stage of life that you are in, that's ok! But don't make it seem like what it?s not- you will disappoint the guy and you might make a fool out of yourself later. Remember too many 'fronts' will throw you in back.
Always be you because 'you' might be great!
MISTAKE ..6: Giving too much 'weight' to your friends opinion about the guy you?re dating
Woman are much more spiteful than men. Women are much more envious of other women than men are of other guys. You can almost always catch a woman saying something negative about what another woman is doing, saying, or wearing!
'Girl, do you see what she's wearing? Are you kidding me? She looks so trashy! Etc.
With this in mind, even 'best friends' (and I use the term loosely) or real close friends tend to envy you! They are deep down inside hung up on the fact that maybe you?re better looking, you have a better job, better family, better history with men, etc. Unfortunately, for mankind a lot of people cannot stand to see others happy- even if it?s people that are close to us.
Do you see where I'm going? It?s cool that you ask for advice or consult on matters with your close friends but don't take what they tell you and run! Heard of the classic tale of 3 best friends that do everything together? Well, now you will.
The first girl is a bit over weight with low self-esteem and an almost non-existent track record with men.
The second girl is simply cursed in regards to romance and relationships. She does all the wrong things and when it all falls apart she goes into a depression.
The third girl is you. You?re usually calm with a good head on your shoulders, but you still haven't reached Mr. Right. (or vice versa) However, your qualities are far exceeding those of your two close friends, so when you're not looking, they?ll say little things about you that they really shouldn't. So now, you meet this guy that you like and you introduce him to your two friends. Well, they just told you how you can do so much better, how he's not cute, how he had a slight accent, how the style isn't there, etc. Here you make a mistake if you listen to them! Form your own conclusion about his guy! Date him until you feel that it?s not worth it for you, or until he shows you ( on his own) that he is not for you but don't do it because of whatever your friends have told you. Because even if they are just trying to spare you unnecessary heartache, it might actually be necessary for life to deal you whatever hand God sees fit. So reach your own conclusion.
They might only care about the fact that you?re not spending as much time with them as you used to. Well real friends understand, and they will have your happiness in mind always.
MISTAKE ..7: Starting to Date Your Guy Best/Close Friend
So you've had a few bad experiences and you?re feeling a bit lonely this Valentine season. You're dreading the whole romance thing, but yet you can?t help but be deep in thought about the possibilities. You actually catch yourself narrowing it down to your guy best friend. You start thinking why you've only been friends; you want to analyze the mutual level of attraction that exists between you etc. After a night of partying and a lot of Grey Goose, you tell him what you've been thinking he responds with a kiss.
Well Jane, we?re in a real pickle Dick! The next morning you're not sure how to act or how to treat him, but life took its course and you?re dating him now. Your other friends are shocked at the revelation, but you will go forward and explore that option.
It?s been a few months and it was nice, but not without realizing that there are a lot of differences between you. You notice that you know way too much about each other, you're each insecure about people that you've both been with etc. but you can't help that you each know way too much about the other. The mystery & the unknown beauty of getting to know someone new isn't going to be there. Some more time has past and there have been a decent about of fighting, now you?re regretting crossing over to the romance side of the world. You?re thinking that now the friendship is tainted also. Well you guessed right! It?s going to take two very adult people to go back to being friends and keep the respect level at optimal levels.
You think you really made a mistake huh?
Well, how about this-Now Mr. Right comes along and he finds out that your "guy best friend" and you- have been involved. Do you think he's going to be ok with this one?? You think he?ll feel comfortable having him in your life?
I don't think so. So remember that there are a lot of people that you still haven't met. Stay clear of dating good close male friends, it?s usually a disaster! I've been there and done it.
MISTAKE ..8: Carrying Too Much Baggage from The Past
We all have a past: bad, good, and in between. But if you have any hopes of meeting a good guy, you need to have the baggage to a minimum. It's very uncomfortable to possibly like you if you have more adventures than Tarzan, and you have the text messages to prove it (or it?s obvious in some way). So here we are at The Rusty Pelican on Key Biscayne, over looking the water prepared for some great seafood. The conversation is great and the ambience is excellent, in mid sentence your cell phone beeps so you check the incoming text message. It was from your ex boyfriend, it said that he missed you etc. You then put the phone down and shortly it happens again, then another two times before you actually power it down. Well, we notice these things and it makes us think that perhaps you?re still wrapped up with someone else, and this fact will not allow us to be the best that we can be. Now we might just take things with you as 'whatever', no big deal etc. Adding this mind set to the dating will probably start to taint what could be.
Oh and these days, absolutely no one appreciates any kind of drama. So don't tell the new guy that you don't want to go somewhere because an ex boyfriend might be there also. This will certainly give off a vibe of possible drama in the horizon. I mean if two people can?t just freely go where they please, this is a real problem. It sends a horrible message!
Learn to contain your baggage until you can permanently get rid of it, or don't let it set foot in with Mr. New.
MISTAKE ..9: Not Being Able to Read The Simple Signs
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Yea- yea whatever! Yes the two species are different, and they each struggle to understand the other. However, there are dead giveaways that you women don't notice sometimes! My girlfriends often ask me if I think a specific guy likes them based on whatever examples they give me etc. I'm very often surprised when they ask me, since there are things that should be obvious. But don't worry I'm here for you! It?s rather simple. Trust me, if a guy is willing to spend all his time with you, calls you, and is willing to go anywhere with you guess what? He likes you! If the guy is buying tickets for the upcoming Blackeyed Peas /Pussycat Dolls concert and he's telling you that he would like to take you, then he doesn't just consider you "just another chick". This guy has a genuine interest in you. Verses the guy that calls you every 2-3 days and always wants you to come to his house. He has seldom taken you to dinner and it feels like you've never really been seen in public together. Well, news flash! He doesn't want to be seen in public with you.
1. Because he doesn't want other girls to think that he isn't available
2. He doesn't feel comfortable with feeling that you are exclusively in his company- he doesn't hold you in high regards
I know it seems cold but this is the truth. No different than having sex with a guy and almost immediately after, you felt that he had an excuse so that you could leave etc. Ladies, I've been there! And you?re worth more than that, you deserve a lot more. But you have to avoid falling into those situations with guys that don't see how much you?re really worth.
So remember, if he's working overtime (even after you've slept together) then he's into you! But if not, then he's not! Cut that tie! You don't need it!
Here are some examples of him being 'into you':
Is willing to introduce you to parents/family
Is willing to spend his free time with you
Is willing to do you favors without you really asking
Is willing to do things with you like concerts, vacations, weddings, etc.
Is willing to hang around even when you have your period (hahaha)
Ladies, you see what I'm saying here!
MISTAKE ..10: Thinking That Only Women Can Fake Orgasms
Yes, I knew that you would appreciate me saving the best for last! Yes, women are the masters of this art! However, us guys have gotten pretty good as we found out just how good you were with this! For starters, never ever brag. Even if you're just kidding- we tend to take it to heart. Anything sexual we pay attention to! Those 3 little letters are enough to stop traffic but make sure of what you?re saying first. Ok I've been contemplating on how to write this without being too graphic so here goes. Women can say a lot about men in regards to sex everything from size, to endurance, to style etc. However, so can we. And just as you have your 'all time favorite', so do we. We have our favorite, our preference, and our personal interpretation of "good", "awesome", or "bad".
Let?s start 'downtown'. Do not tell us how great you are going downtown unless you are really really really sure about it. Now I can?t tell you how to be sure, but I do know that I've had 'run ins' with various women who claimed to be the worlds greatest, a real award winner. Problem was I couldn't figure out if they had started or stopped. Yea tell me about it, a real champ! But if you don't say anything then there are no expectations, and the moment will carry you and things will be great. Also don't be lazy, and neither should we. But don't expect us to do all the work either- we have to be fair always. But yes, there are many times that we have to imagine women from our past, or celebrities in order to 'complete the mission'. It might not be any fault of yours, but this is reality!
All I?m saying is that true sexual chemistry cannot be denied and it will always find its way if it?s meant to be for the couple in question. However, don't assume for a minute that because we?re guys that we didn't just pull off the greatest act in history!
Think about that for a little bit!
Conclusion: Men & Women, we cannot be without each other. So we cannot stop trying to understand. I hope that you enjoyed reading it, as I enjoyed writing it.
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MISTAKE ..1: Thinking That All Men Are The "Same"
We have absolutely nothing to do with your ex boyfriend/s, period. A lot of women that I have dated or come across tend to show their 'scars of war' through how they express themselves about men overall. They hint at the past and how terrible guys could be etc. Let me tell you that as long as you go into new relationships with your fist clenched tight still gripping on what previously has been done to you- you will not meet happiness!
Yes, us men have a 'society wide' negative track record, but let me say that these days women are not too far behind. But you can take comfort in knowing that us men put up a good 'macho' front so that we don't show you just how much we?re actually looking forward to finding love. Us men can be devious and disconnected but I assure you we will give it all up for the 'right girl'. When a guy doesn't want to be with you, or doesn't treat you as he should- he has already established that you're not the one for him. As cruel as it sounds, it?s true! My girlfriends call me often and share their stories with me about the person they are dating etc. and here's what I tell them: there are only 3 roadways that us men consider in issuing a 'final verdict' on a potential woman of interest:
1. Keep as a friend
2. Keep as a friend with benefits
3. Keep for a formal relationship
*Only you are responsible for which category you fall into with regards to your personality, way of being, your qualities & flaws, even looks, etc. If you fit the criteria of what the other person is seeking and the chemistry is right, you might not have to complain about him causing you any harm. But you have a lot to do with it! Women sometimes are very unrealistic with their expectations of someone that they're dating. Maybe you haven't acted as positively as you should, perhaps bringing up the past to the new guy is a problem, or maybe, your inability to let go of the past is hurting your chances with someone who just might be a real nice guy.
How about this---
He acts tough, but he just dropped you off and as he's thinking of you while he blasts some Keith Sweat-Ill give all my love to you or some Bon Jovi- In these Arms!
I mean this guy is in touch with his emotional side- which is not a bad thing. So why do you want to throw him in with your ex boyfriend who cheated on you with your 'best friend'??
Leave the light on and unclench your fists! Here's a "what if" scenario: What if the new guy did something that he didn't mean early on? ( nothing major) Give him a chance to make it right. If he didn't care he wouldn't care to make it right with you. Give the new guy a chance to screw up, but he might not and surprise you.
Think about it the time is now & the past is gone! Stop comparing- we are all different!
P.S. Trust me, I find myself giving the possibility of love much more importance than those one night stands of yesterday.
MISTAKE ..2: Sending Mixed Signals (Black or White - No Gray)
You like him? You don't like him? What do you mean ?you?re not sure?? Stop, take breather and think things through. Most girls that write to us about a guy that won?t leave them alone are actually responsible for that. Ladies, don't accept gifts, don't enter text message contests, don't agree to outings, and watch what you say. You don't have to mistreat someone just to let him know that you?re not interested, or that you just don't feel the same etc. But you need to be straight up and make sure that you were clear with them. Otherwise, you might have some issues to deal with that could have been avoided.
Mean what you say and Say what you mean, at all times. Most of us guys get it the first time. No need to feel sorry for someone that is sweet to you, if you just don't like them that way. It is what it is, and it's your obligation as a moral human being to be clear. By the way, when a guy asks for your phone number and you give it to them, we are always going to think that you?re interested~! Even if you felt bad and gave him a wrong number it?s not nice. Simply, use the old 'I have a boyfriend' speech or something reasonable. They might be strangers but a bit of human courtesy is good for your soul. If it's a guy that you've been dating but you've noticed more and more that you don't want to date them anymore, then tell them. Don't just start dodging the phone calls etc. KARMA!
Don't do anything that can hurt someone, because down the road it could be you that's dealing with someone's mixed signals. Are we crystal?
MISTAKE ..3: Sleeping With Him Too Quickly
There is no actual way to measure what sleeping with someone too quickly actually means. But yes, we do pay attention to this. The logic is simple really. If you sleep with me in light speed, you probably did with those before me. If the guy you're dealing with has not yet decided which of the 3 categories to place you in, and you sleep with him too soon- well your fate is now sealed. Welcome to category 3 or maybe none at all.
Unfortunately, for women society still crucifies you in regards to sexuality and morality. So us mean can sleep with the world and remain 'business as usual'. But a woman does it and there are a few names that will be used. As a result of this, women have a meter or counter attached to them and every guy you sleep with becomes a new 'body count'. I know this sucks ladies but it is what it is! Just think about what you want to do and what you don't. Don't put yourself in situations that might get you in trouble too fast.
Remember, us men are only really considering three factors:
1. Keep as a friend
2. Keep as a friend with benefits
3. Keep for a formal relationship
WHICH DO YOU WANT TO BE IN??
MISTAKE ..4: Playing Too Many Love Games
One thing that completely baffles me about women is how bad they seek equality in regards to societies standards verses men's. But then they contradict themselves by resorting back to the ancient beliefs. Ladies, don't make yourself seem too busy if you?re not, don't make yourself seem like you?re made of steel- because you?re not, don't hold back from calling if you feel you want to, and don't hold back from deciding that you do like the person that you?re dating.
Times have changed, and the only thing that should remain is 'Chivalry'. Us men should still exercise romance, kindness, and regard for the lady. We should open doors, we should pull up your chair, we should even throw down our cape over a puddle! However, women should not be so worried about who calls first, second, third, or how soon they call. We?re too old for games, and it?s energy that we could invest in spending time and getting to know each other- having fun. Speaking of fun: Men like a woman who is opinionated and takes some initiative sometimes. There is nothing more disappointing for me, than to have a woman tell me that 'its up to me' when I ask what she feels like doing tonight. Surely, you have an opinion!
We will surprise you and be creative a first couple of times, but it is to your benefit to state an opinion of how / where you would like to enjoy yourself. So don't play those "you're the guy- so you have certain duties" game! We?re grown and ready to be at our best, so that whenever the good Lord decides to send us 'Mr./Ms. Right' we will be ready for them. All you have to do is be cool and keep it mature.
I was in Chicago recently, and a girl walked up to me to tell me something. I'm so used to the 'Miami way of life' that I thought she was just going to ask if I had a light or something but instead she said, "I think you're really cute"! I was surprised with her honestly and willingness to detach herself from "the norm". That being that women don't normally approach men of their liking etc. But you know what? I was impressed! And we danced and had a lot of fun. Eventually, a social evolution will commence.
Who calls, who invites, that's irrelevant. The point is to spend time finding out if this is indeed a match.
MISTAKE ..5: Becoming a 'Chameleon' And Losing Your Identity
You don't know how many dates I've been on with women that have told me how much they love everything that I love. Listen, it?s great to have things in common with someone, but don't overdo it. Always be you and be real. If you're asked how you feel about a person, place, or thing- tell them honestly. It doesn't matter how much you like this guy, you need to keep it real. I love it when a girl tells me that she quit smoking cigarettes, and then I smell them in her hair. She said that because I let her know that I'm a non smoker and I don't like smokers around me but now I think she's a liar and someone that she isn't.
Everyone has the right to pick & choose whoever is for them, and the least that you can do is be as real as possible so that they may successfully accomplish that. More importantly, you want someone that wants you for you! Some that appreciates your little flaws also, but let them be turned on by whom you are- with as little make up as possible. If you're a party animal and this is the stage of life that you are in, that's ok! But don't make it seem like what it?s not- you will disappoint the guy and you might make a fool out of yourself later. Remember too many 'fronts' will throw you in back.
Always be you because 'you' might be great!
MISTAKE ..6: Giving too much 'weight' to your friends opinion about the guy you?re dating
Woman are much more spiteful than men. Women are much more envious of other women than men are of other guys. You can almost always catch a woman saying something negative about what another woman is doing, saying, or wearing!
'Girl, do you see what she's wearing? Are you kidding me? She looks so trashy! Etc.
With this in mind, even 'best friends' (and I use the term loosely) or real close friends tend to envy you! They are deep down inside hung up on the fact that maybe you?re better looking, you have a better job, better family, better history with men, etc. Unfortunately, for mankind a lot of people cannot stand to see others happy- even if it?s people that are close to us.
Do you see where I'm going? It?s cool that you ask for advice or consult on matters with your close friends but don't take what they tell you and run! Heard of the classic tale of 3 best friends that do everything together? Well, now you will.
The first girl is a bit over weight with low self-esteem and an almost non-existent track record with men.
The second girl is simply cursed in regards to romance and relationships. She does all the wrong things and when it all falls apart she goes into a depression.
The third girl is you. You?re usually calm with a good head on your shoulders, but you still haven't reached Mr. Right. (or vice versa) However, your qualities are far exceeding those of your two close friends, so when you're not looking, they?ll say little things about you that they really shouldn't. So now, you meet this guy that you like and you introduce him to your two friends. Well, they just told you how you can do so much better, how he's not cute, how he had a slight accent, how the style isn't there, etc. Here you make a mistake if you listen to them! Form your own conclusion about his guy! Date him until you feel that it?s not worth it for you, or until he shows you ( on his own) that he is not for you but don't do it because of whatever your friends have told you. Because even if they are just trying to spare you unnecessary heartache, it might actually be necessary for life to deal you whatever hand God sees fit. So reach your own conclusion.
They might only care about the fact that you?re not spending as much time with them as you used to. Well real friends understand, and they will have your happiness in mind always.
MISTAKE ..7: Starting to Date Your Guy Best/Close Friend
So you've had a few bad experiences and you?re feeling a bit lonely this Valentine season. You're dreading the whole romance thing, but yet you can?t help but be deep in thought about the possibilities. You actually catch yourself narrowing it down to your guy best friend. You start thinking why you've only been friends; you want to analyze the mutual level of attraction that exists between you etc. After a night of partying and a lot of Grey Goose, you tell him what you've been thinking he responds with a kiss.
Well Jane, we?re in a real pickle Dick! The next morning you're not sure how to act or how to treat him, but life took its course and you?re dating him now. Your other friends are shocked at the revelation, but you will go forward and explore that option.
It?s been a few months and it was nice, but not without realizing that there are a lot of differences between you. You notice that you know way too much about each other, you're each insecure about people that you've both been with etc. but you can't help that you each know way too much about the other. The mystery & the unknown beauty of getting to know someone new isn't going to be there. Some more time has past and there have been a decent about of fighting, now you?re regretting crossing over to the romance side of the world. You?re thinking that now the friendship is tainted also. Well you guessed right! It?s going to take two very adult people to go back to being friends and keep the respect level at optimal levels.
You think you really made a mistake huh?
Well, how about this-Now Mr. Right comes along and he finds out that your "guy best friend" and you- have been involved. Do you think he's going to be ok with this one?? You think he?ll feel comfortable having him in your life?
I don't think so. So remember that there are a lot of people that you still haven't met. Stay clear of dating good close male friends, it?s usually a disaster! I've been there and done it.
MISTAKE ..8: Carrying Too Much Baggage from The Past
We all have a past: bad, good, and in between. But if you have any hopes of meeting a good guy, you need to have the baggage to a minimum. It's very uncomfortable to possibly like you if you have more adventures than Tarzan, and you have the text messages to prove it (or it?s obvious in some way). So here we are at The Rusty Pelican on Key Biscayne, over looking the water prepared for some great seafood. The conversation is great and the ambience is excellent, in mid sentence your cell phone beeps so you check the incoming text message. It was from your ex boyfriend, it said that he missed you etc. You then put the phone down and shortly it happens again, then another two times before you actually power it down. Well, we notice these things and it makes us think that perhaps you?re still wrapped up with someone else, and this fact will not allow us to be the best that we can be. Now we might just take things with you as 'whatever', no big deal etc. Adding this mind set to the dating will probably start to taint what could be.
Oh and these days, absolutely no one appreciates any kind of drama. So don't tell the new guy that you don't want to go somewhere because an ex boyfriend might be there also. This will certainly give off a vibe of possible drama in the horizon. I mean if two people can?t just freely go where they please, this is a real problem. It sends a horrible message!
Learn to contain your baggage until you can permanently get rid of it, or don't let it set foot in with Mr. New.
MISTAKE ..9: Not Being Able to Read The Simple Signs
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Yea- yea whatever! Yes the two species are different, and they each struggle to understand the other. However, there are dead giveaways that you women don't notice sometimes! My girlfriends often ask me if I think a specific guy likes them based on whatever examples they give me etc. I'm very often surprised when they ask me, since there are things that should be obvious. But don't worry I'm here for you! It?s rather simple. Trust me, if a guy is willing to spend all his time with you, calls you, and is willing to go anywhere with you guess what? He likes you! If the guy is buying tickets for the upcoming Blackeyed Peas /Pussycat Dolls concert and he's telling you that he would like to take you, then he doesn't just consider you "just another chick". This guy has a genuine interest in you. Verses the guy that calls you every 2-3 days and always wants you to come to his house. He has seldom taken you to dinner and it feels like you've never really been seen in public together. Well, news flash! He doesn't want to be seen in public with you.
1. Because he doesn't want other girls to think that he isn't available
2. He doesn't feel comfortable with feeling that you are exclusively in his company- he doesn't hold you in high regards
I know it seems cold but this is the truth. No different than having sex with a guy and almost immediately after, you felt that he had an excuse so that you could leave etc. Ladies, I've been there! And you?re worth more than that, you deserve a lot more. But you have to avoid falling into those situations with guys that don't see how much you?re really worth.
So remember, if he's working overtime (even after you've slept together) then he's into you! But if not, then he's not! Cut that tie! You don't need it!
Here are some examples of him being 'into you':
Is willing to introduce you to parents/family
Is willing to spend his free time with you
Is willing to do you favors without you really asking
Is willing to do things with you like concerts, vacations, weddings, etc.
Is willing to hang around even when you have your period (hahaha)
Ladies, you see what I'm saying here!
MISTAKE ..10: Thinking That Only Women Can Fake Orgasms
Yes, I knew that you would appreciate me saving the best for last! Yes, women are the masters of this art! However, us guys have gotten pretty good as we found out just how good you were with this! For starters, never ever brag. Even if you're just kidding- we tend to take it to heart. Anything sexual we pay attention to! Those 3 little letters are enough to stop traffic but make sure of what you?re saying first. Ok I've been contemplating on how to write this without being too graphic so here goes. Women can say a lot about men in regards to sex everything from size, to endurance, to style etc. However, so can we. And just as you have your 'all time favorite', so do we. We have our favorite, our preference, and our personal interpretation of "good", "awesome", or "bad".
Let?s start 'downtown'. Do not tell us how great you are going downtown unless you are really really really sure about it. Now I can?t tell you how to be sure, but I do know that I've had 'run ins' with various women who claimed to be the worlds greatest, a real award winner. Problem was I couldn't figure out if they had started or stopped. Yea tell me about it, a real champ! But if you don't say anything then there are no expectations, and the moment will carry you and things will be great. Also don't be lazy, and neither should we. But don't expect us to do all the work either- we have to be fair always. But yes, there are many times that we have to imagine women from our past, or celebrities in order to 'complete the mission'. It might not be any fault of yours, but this is reality!
All I?m saying is that true sexual chemistry cannot be denied and it will always find its way if it?s meant to be for the couple in question. However, don't assume for a minute that because we?re guys that we didn't just pull off the greatest act in history!
Think about that for a little bit!
Conclusion: Men & Women, we cannot be without each other. So we cannot stop trying to understand. I hope that you enjoyed reading it, as I enjoyed writing it.
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