kranky antagonizes the neighboring womenfolk

[kranky]

There are three women in our neighborhood who often hang out together when watching their kids playing in the yard next door. We're not close friends but we all know each other. I was raking leaves on Saturday in our yard and was near where they were standing. One of the women is holding a catalog. We say hello and chit-chat for a minute and they return to their discussion. I can easily hear them talking as I rake.

Mary is about 5'7" 140 a bit chunky
Donna is about 5'3" 110 very thin
Patty is about 5'5" 170 more than a bit chunky

Mary: Donna, I don't know what you're worried about.
Donna: I don't know... I'm not sure that's going to look right.
Patty: It'll look great, Donna. You have the right build for it
Mary: That's a great dress! You should order it.
Donna: I'd have to not eat for a month to get into that dress
Mary: Hey, don't go all anorexic on us!

kranky: Geez, Donna, if anyone goes anorexic it shouldn't be you.

I was trying to throw Donna an off-hand compliment that she didn't need to lose any weight. What it came out like was "You're the only one standing there who isn't a cow." Patty spins around and heads back into the house with the other two following her, and Donna looks back at me over her shoulder with a glare that would freeze a blitzing linebacker.

I'm not expecting any Christmas cards.

 

[n7]

:laugh:

 

[SearchMaster]

Lesson to kranky - never throw in your 2 cents worth in a discussion about weight with women. Ever.

 

[BoomerD]

Open mouth...insert foot.

That off-hand statement will probably cause you problems for a long time in the female sector of your community.

"Did you hear what Kranky said the other day? He called Mary and Patty a couple of fat cows...right to their faces!"
Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if that didn't even affect your standing with the menfolk...We men can think of our women as fat, but no one else is allowed to say it...

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Yeah.. Complimenting or aiding any woman is a recipe for disasters. What I don't understand is the standing of friends and husbands. At this point its understood that the male partner is not going to seriously make a deriding comment towards the female correct? I mean, a serious talk alone that she has a problem maybe, but a deriding comment amongst her peers, its understood the men aren't going to do that right?

And yet women will still ALWAYS take the absolutely worst interpretation of what's said. I simply don't understand.

 

[BoomerD]

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune
Yeah.. Complimenting or aiding any woman is a recipe for disasters. What I don't understand is the standing of friends and husbands. At this point its understood that the male partner is not going to seriously make a deriding comment towards the female correct? I mean, a serious talk alone that she has a problem maybe, but a deriding comment amongst her peers, its understood the men aren't going to do that right?

And yet women will still ALWAYS take the absolutely worst interpretation of what's said. I simply don't understand.

Dude, that's because you (presumably) have a penis, NOT a vagina...

We menfolk will NEVER understand "women-think"...we're not supposed to.

I've been married (to the same woman) for almost 33 years, and about the time I think I understand how the game is played, they change the rules...:roll:

 

[Chryso]

Kranky, I want to thank you for making the rest of us look good.

 

[jjones]

lol, the only time you'll ever get a smile out of them now is when they watch you being lowered into your grave.

 

[FoBoT]

oops, yeah, that didn't work out right

 

[Demon-Xanth]

If a man says something in a forest and a woman isn't around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Yeah, the mistake you made was saying anything at all.

 

[buck]

Didn't you know women are emotionally unstable beasts?


Thanks for the laugh.

 

[DrPizza]

Since they're your neighbors, it's probably best to mend the relations now. I'd recommend baking a big batch of chocolate chip cookies and send a large plate full to each of the three, with a little note of apology.


Hmmmm... on second thought, maybe not chocolate chip cookies. In fact, when women feel that you've offended them about their weight, I don't think there exists a successful strategy for apologizing. May as well call your real estate broker and get your home on the market.

 

[Tiamat]

:laugh:

 

[hypn0tik]

You can expect fail mail for Christmas.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Dude, stick to raking leaves next time. :laugh:

 

[waggy]

bwhahah

when women are talking about weight you leave. just drop the rake and run. i would rather have them think i am a fool by running then saying something and proving i am (at least to them heh)

 

[fleshconsumed]

Originally posted by: DrPizza
Hmmmm... on second thought, maybe not chocolate chip cookies. In fact, when women feel that you've offended them about their weight, I don't think there exists a successful strategy for apologizing. May as well call your real estate broker and get your home on the market.

Yeah, cookies are a no go. Maybe he should go with a nice green salad, oh wait.... They'll probably think he's being condescending by getting them a low fat food.

When will we learn? We can never win in this game.

 

[Old Hippie]

I'm not expecting any Christmas cards.

That's the least of your worries! :laugh:

 

[kranky]

Patty was getting her mail when I was pulling in to the driveway on the way home from work, I gave her a friendly wave and she gave me a tiny nod. Better than nothing, I guess.

 

[MotF Bane]

No matter what you said, you were doomed. How does that foot taste?

 

[Jeff7]

So wait, I'm a bit lost. Which did you think of saying, and what did you actually say?

 

[mobobuff]

Originally posted by: kranky
There are three women in our neighborhood who often hang out together when watching their kids playing in the yard next door. We're not close friends but we all know each other. I was raking leaves on Saturday in our yard and was near where they were standing. One of the women is holding a catalog. We say hello and chit-chat for a minute and they return to their discussion. I can easily hear them talking as I rake.

Mary is about 5'7" 140 a bit chunky
Donna is about 5'3" 110 very thin
Patty is about 5'5" 170 more than a bit chunky

Mary: Donna, I don't know what you're worried about.
Donna: I don't know... I'm not sure that's going to look right.
Patty: It'll look great, Donna. You have the right build for it
Mary: That's a great dress! You should order it.
Donna: I'd have to not eat for a month to get into that dress
Mary: Hey, don't go all anorexic on us!

kranky: Geez, Donna, if anyone goes anorexic it shouldn't be you.

I was trying to throw Donna an off-hand compliment that she didn't need to lose any weight. What it came out like was "You're the only one standing there who isn't a cow." Patty spins around and heads back into the house with the other two following her, and Donna looks back at me over her shoulder with a glare that would freeze a blitzing linebacker.

I'm not expecting any Christmas cards.

Ohhh man, I'm sorry. Hahahaha. So many other ways you could've said that that wouldn't have been blatantly offensive.

 

[Megatomic]

Whoa, that came out really badly. I love it.

 

[MyThirdEye]

Originally posted by: MotF Bane
No matter what you said, you were doomed. How does that foot taste?

So true.

 

[Muadib]

Wow kranky, just wow.