Kid's letters to GOD

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
1. Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda

2. Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
Joyce

3. Dear Mr. God,
I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.
Janet

4. God,
I read the bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me.
Love Alison

5. Dear God,
How did you know you were God? Who told you?
Charlene

6. Dear God,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house?
Anita

7. Dear God,
I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
Nancy

8. Dear God,
I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones.
I like walking on water, too.
Glenn

9. Dear God,
My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go?
Love, Dennis

10. Dear God,
Do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't, who does?
Nathan

11. Dear God,
Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident?
Norma

12. Dear God,
In bible times, did they really talk that fancy?
Jennifer

13. Dear God,
How come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any now?
Billy

14. Dear God,
Please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year.
Peter

15. Dear God,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms.
It works out OK with me and my brother.
Larry

16. Dear God,
I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet. What's up? Don't forget.
Mark

17. Dear God,
My brother told me about how you are born, but it just doesn't sound right. What do you say?
Marsha

18. Dear God,
If you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.
Barbara

19. Dear God,
Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business?
Donny

20. Dear God,
I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you are already God.
Charles

21. Dear God,
It is great the way you always get the stars in the right place. Why can't you do that with the moon?
Jeff

22. Dear God,
I am doing the best I can. Really !!!!
Frank

And, saving the best for last . .

23. Dear God,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday night.
That was really cool.
Thomas
 

venk

Banned
Dec 10, 2000
7,449
1
0
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
1. Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
New Years?

MLK Day?

Valentines Day?

St Patricks Day?

Aprils Fools Day?


Stupid Kid
 
Jan 31, 2002
40,819
2
0
Originally posted by: venk
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
1. Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
New Years?

MLK Day?

Valentines Day?

St Patricks Day?

Aprils Fools Day?


Stupid Kid

404 Religious Holiday That Gets You Time Off Work Not Found

STFU no0blet. :p

- M4H
 

Zim Hosein

Super Moderator | Elite Member
Super Moderator
Nov 27, 1999
64,594
360
126
Originally posted by: venk
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
1. Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
New Years?

MLK Day?

Valentines Day?

St Patricks Day?

Aprils Fools Day?

Stupid Kid

I bet the kid knows how to spell "St. Patrick's Day" w/ an apostrophe venk! :p

 

venk

Banned
Dec 10, 2000
7,449
1
0
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Originally posted by: venk
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
1. Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
New Years?

MLK Day?

Valentines Day?

St Patricks Day?

Aprils Fools Day?


Stupid Kid

404 Religious Holiday That Gets You Time Off Work Not Found

STFU no0blet. :p

- M4H



Don't know about you but I get time off on New Years and MLK Day is always a school holiday. I don't think she wanted time off so she could pray more ;)

n00blet!?!?! You registered a year after me n00blet. :p
 
Jan 31, 2002
40,819
2
0
24. Dear God,
Man, how stoned were you when you invented the platypus? Did you just drop that clusterf*ck of a mammal on the earth to screw with Darwin's head? "Let's take a beaver. Mmkay. *puff* Put on a duck's bill! Bwahaha! Hey, I'm God, whattya gonna do. Okay, get this. He's a mammal - but he lays eggs! HA!"


- M4H
 

Rebasxer

Golden Member
Apr 10, 2005
1,270
2
0
Originally posted by: venk
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
1. Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
New Years?

MLK Day?

Valentines Day?

St Patricks Day?

Aprils Fools Day?


Stupid Kid

New Years only good if you can drink

MLK is really only good if you care

Valentines is only good if you have a SO

St Patties, Drinking

So were left with the fun of April fools
 

venk

Banned
Dec 10, 2000
7,449
1
0
Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Originally posted by: venk
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
1. Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
New Years?

MLK Day?

Valentines Day?

St Patricks Day?

Aprils Fools Day?

Stupid Kid

I bet the kid knows how to spell "St. Patrick's Day" w/ an apostrophe venk! :p



I doubt it. They don't teach you apostrophes until the third year of college. ;)
 

Ikonomi

Diamond Member
Dec 19, 2003
6,056
1
0
Heh, those are adorable... :) If you imagine that they were really written by those children.
 
Jan 31, 2002
40,819
2
0
Originally posted by: venk
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Originally posted by: venk
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
1. Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
New Years?

MLK Day?

Valentines Day?

St Patricks Day?

Aprils Fools Day?


Stupid Kid

404 Religious Holiday That Gets You Time Off Work Not Found

STFU no0blet. :p

- M4H



Don't know about you but I get time off on New Years and MLK Day is always a school holiday. I don't think she wanted time off so she could pray more ;)

n00blet!?!?! You registered a year after me n00blet. :p

But you're still a bunny-humping illiterate no0blet ;)

- M4H
 

Zim Hosein

Super Moderator | Elite Member
Super Moderator
Nov 27, 1999
64,594
360
126
Originally posted by: venk
Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Originally posted by: venk
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
1. Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
New Years?

MLK Day?

Valentines Day?

St Patricks Day?

Aprils Fools Day?

Stupid Kid

I bet the kid knows how to spell "St. Patrick's Day" w/ an apostrophe venk! :p

I doubt it. They don't teach you apostrophes until the third year of college. ;)

:Q

Ask for a refund now venk! :p
 

venk

Banned
Dec 10, 2000
7,449
1
0
Originally posted by: Rebasxer
Originally posted by: venk
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
1. Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
New Years?

MLK Day?

Valentines Day?

St Patricks Day?

Aprils Fools Day?


Stupid Kid

New Years only good if you can drink

MLK is really only good if you care

Valentines is only good if you have a SO

St Patties, Drinking

So were left with the fun of April fools



I forgot Presidents Day. How could any kid not LOVE Presidents Day?!?!?!! :confused:
 

venk

Banned
Dec 10, 2000
7,449
1
0
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Originally posted by: venk
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Originally posted by: venk
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
1. Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
New Years?

MLK Day?

Valentines Day?

St Patricks Day?

Aprils Fools Day?


Stupid Kid

404 Religious Holiday That Gets You Time Off Work Not Found

STFU no0blet. :p

- M4H



Don't know about you but I get time off on New Years and MLK Day is always a school holiday. I don't think she wanted time off so she could pray more ;)

n00blet!?!?! You registered a year after me n00blet. :p

But you're still a bunny-humping illiterate no0blet ;)

- M4H


Who are you calling illiterate!?!? :| :p
 

venk

Banned
Dec 10, 2000
7,449
1
0
Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Originally posted by: venk
Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Originally posted by: venk
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
1. Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
New Years?

MLK Day?

Valentines Day?

St Patricks Day?

Aprils Fools Day?

Stupid Kid

I bet the kid knows how to spell "St. Patrick's Day" w/ an apostrophe venk! :p

I doubt it. They don't teach you apostrophes until the third year of college. ;)

:Q

Ask for a refund now venk! :p



All Sales Final at Our Lord the Timbuktu Community Jr College A&M Christian
 

BurnItDwn

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
25,981
1,473
126
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
1. Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda

2. Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
Joyce

3. Dear Mr. God,
I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.
Janet

4. God,
I read the bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me.
Love Alison

5. Dear God,
How did you know you were God? Who told you?
Charlene

6. Dear God,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house?
Anita

7. Dear God,
I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
Nancy

8. Dear God,
I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones.
I like walking on water, too.
Glenn

9. Dear God,
My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go?
Love, Dennis

10. Dear God,
Do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't, who does?
Nathan

11. Dear God,
Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident?
Norma

12. Dear God,
In bible times, did they really talk that fancy?
Jennifer

13. Dear God,
How come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any now?
Billy

14. Dear God,
Please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year.
Peter

15. Dear God,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms.
It works out OK with me and my brother.
Larry

16. Dear God,
I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet. What's up? Don't forget.
Mark

17. Dear God,
My brother told me about how you are born, but it just doesn't sound right. What do you say?
Marsha

18. Dear God,
If you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.
Barbara

19. Dear God,
Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business?
Donny

20. Dear God,
I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you are already God.
Charles

21. Dear God,
It is great the way you always get the stars in the right place. Why can't you do that with the moon?
Jeff

22. Dear God,
I am doing the best I can. Really !!!!
Frank

And, saving the best for last . .

23. Dear God,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday night.
That was really cool.
Thomas


So, how did you get those letters?

Are they in your cult in which they think you are God?

Do you just have a whole TON of kids and you were looking through their private letters to God that you said you would deliver for them with the malicious intent of leaking their most personal questions to ATOT even though they were meant for our eternal dark overlord?

Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
 

mercanucaribe

Banned
Oct 20, 2004
9,763
1
0
Those were pretty funny except for the last one! I was expecting something really funny, and all I got was that Readers' Digest crap about a sunset that "God made"! I demand a refund.
 

Quasmo

Diamond Member
Jul 7, 2004
9,631
1
76
25. Dear God,
I really have to poop, is it really concentrated evil comming out the back of me? Do I get a fudgecicle now?
Jethrow
 

MoPHo

Platinum Member
Dec 16, 2003
2,981
2
0
Dear God,
All the people on the forums say that the reason no one likes me is because I touch myself at night. Is this true or are they just trolls?

Mopho
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,303
15
81
Originally posted by: Quasmo
25. Dear God,
I really have to poop, is it really concentrated evil comming out the back of me? Do I get a fudgecicle now?
Jethrow

Answer: Yes.
 

chambersc

Diamond Member
Feb 11, 2005
6,247
0
0
#eleventy
Dear God,
If you truly loved mankind why the evil. It would have been a fair trade for me to never know evil and you to take out some of my free will. Just think, I would have never known you did it either cause I would never know evil! Sorry you dropped the ball there, I'll pray for you.
 

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