Kentucky boy Joke

[tyler811]

A man walked into the produce section of a Florida supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some butt-hole wants to buy a half head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."


The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?" " Kentucky, sir." the boy replied. "Well, why did you leave Kentucky?" the manager asked. The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but loose women and basketball players up there." "Really?" said the manager "My wife is from Kentucky."


"No kidding?" replied the boy, "Who'd she play for?"

 

[destrekor]

I chuckled.

Unrated

 

[El Guaraguao]

=|

 

[Train]

heh, actually made me lol

9/10

 

[IronWing]

Three men were in a boat, on a lake, fishing. One was from Tennessee, one from Indiana, and one from Kentucky. As they were fishing, a man came strolling across the water toward them. Of course it was Jesus! Jesus said to the men "Hey what's up?" To which the men stared in silent awe. Finally the man from Tennessee asked "Are you really Jesus?" to which Jesus replied "Yep, sure am. I was kind of bored up on my cloud and thought I'd go for a stroll. Anything I can do for you while I'm here?" The guy from Tennessee says "Yeah, I got this tumor in my brain that causes me lots of trouble." Jesus leans over the guy, gives him a noogie, and proclaims him healed. The man from Tennessee yells "Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus!" The man from Indiana then speaks up, saying to Jesus " I have this gimpy arm." Jesus takes the arm in his hands, gives the guy a snakebite, and tells him he too is healed. The man from Indiana yells "Praise the Lord, thank you Jesus!" Jesus then turns to the man from Kentucky who immediately jumps to his feet, nearly capsizing the boat while yelling "Get away from me man, I'm on disability!"

 

[Engineer]

LOL...:biggrin:

<--- from Kentucky....we love our basketball here....no mention of loose women though!

Edit: the LOL was for the OP...not for Ironwing!:sneaky:

 

[HannibalX]

Three men were in a boat, on a lake, fishing. One was from Tennessee, one from Indiana, and one from Kentucky. As they were fishing, a man came strolling across the water toward them. Of course it was Jesus! Jesus said to the men "Hey what's up?" To which the men stared in silent awe. Finally the man from Tennessee asked "Are you really Jesus?" to which Jesus replied "Yep, sure am. I was kind of bored up on my cloud and thought I'd go for a stroll. Anything I can do for you while I'm here?" The guy from Tennessee says "Yeah, I got this tumor in my brain that causes me lots of trouble." Jesus leans over the guy, gives him a noogie, and proclaims him healed. The man from Tennessee yells "Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus!" The man from Indiana then speaks up, saying to Jesus " I have this gimpy arm." Jesus takes the arm in his hands, gives the guy a snakebite, and tells him he too is healed. The man from Indiana yells "Praise the Lord, thank you Jesus!" Jesus then turns to the man from Kentucky who immediately jumps to his feet, nearly capsizing the boat while yelling "Get away from me man, I'm on disability!"

The original version is better.

A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, honey! How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Miller Light?" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once more nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold glass of beer. "On my bill," he said.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me... I'm collecting disability."

 

[MAKENITO]

Three men were in a boat, on a lake, fishing. One was from Tennessee, one from Indiana, and one from Kentucky. As they were fishing, a man came strolling across the water toward them. Of course it was Jesus! Jesus said to the men "Hey what's up?" To which the men stared in silent awe. Finally the man from Tennessee asked "Are you really Jesus?" to which Jesus replied "Yep, sure am. I was kind of bored up on my cloud and thought I'd go for a stroll. Anything I can do for you while I'm here?" The guy from Tennessee says "Yeah, I got this tumor in my brain that causes me lots of trouble." Jesus leans over the guy, gives him a noogie, and proclaims him healed. The man from Tennessee yells "Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus!" The man from Indiana then speaks up, saying to Jesus " I have this gimpy arm." Jesus takes the arm in his hands, gives the guy a snakebite, and tells him he too is healed. The man from Indiana yells "Praise the Lord, thank you Jesus!" Jesus then turns to the man from Kentucky who immediately jumps to his feet, nearly capsizing the boat while yelling "Get away from me man, I'm on disability!"

hahaha

 

[Train]

The original version is better.

The "original" I heard was a black, a white, and a mexican.

 

[tyler811]

I hope everyone wiped their ass after all the thread crapping

 

[spidey07]

That's hilarious. Never heard it before.

That the kentucky boy had the wit and quick thinking to avert saying something bad about managers wife he came up with a zinger that absolved himself of any retribution.

 

[Train]

That the kentucky boy had the wit and quick thinking to avert saying something bad about managers wife he came up with a zinger that absolved himself of any retribution.

Oh, THATS why it was funny? aww shit man, thanks.

 

[Platypus]

How do you circumcise a Kentucky boy?


Kick his sister in the mouth.

 

[geno]

I hope everyone wiped their ass after all the thread crapping

*GASP* People posted jokes in a joke thread? Ban them.