Just got assaulted on an onramp, AMA

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brianmanahan

Lifer
Sep 2, 2006
24,394
5,841
136
I could have easily killed this guy... I just didn't want to deal with that mess.

how i envision this would have gone down:

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Ruptga

Lifer
Aug 3, 2006
10,246
207
106
and that's why you let road ragers pass, ladies and gentlemen ...

Or that's why you put your window up when you see some idiot coming at your car on foot.

Or maybe it's why you should have irl friends instead of making stuff up on the internet? I get confused on these things sometimes.
 

TridenT

Lifer
Sep 4, 2006
16,800
45
91
And the whole time when he stepped out of his car, you didn't think to shut the window? Idiot.

I thought about it but I didn't want him to break my window or beat up my car in frustration. I did think it through... Him trying to punch me was the least of my concerns.

You guys seriously underestimate me. This guy was never going to land a full blow. I just wanted to move juuust enough out of the way so that when he hit me, it would still count as assault and there would be no question as to who hit who first.

I considered getting video going on my phone to record it but... I didn't think I'd have time. If there was any error, it was that I underestimated how slow the guy was.
 

Captante

Lifer
Oct 20, 2003
30,316
10,814
136
And the whole time when he stepped out of his car, you didn't think to shut the window? Idiot.


Window won't stop a bullet. Somehow it doesn't seem worth it to me but hey what do I know?

Best bet is to let morons like that guy win that big race to nowhere.
 

SSSnail

Lifer
Nov 29, 2006
17,458
82
86
Awww... what the hell, how can I resist a trident's thread?

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michael-bolton-rapping-o.gif
 
Last edited:
Mar 11, 2004
23,250
5,693
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I thought about it but I didn't want him to break my window or beat up my car in frustration. I did think it through... Him trying to punch me was the least of my concerns.

You guys seriously underestimate me. This guy was never going to land a full blow. I just wanted to move juuust enough out of the way so that when he hit me, it would still count as assault and there would be no question as to who hit who first.

I considered getting video going on my phone to record it but... I didn't think I'd have time. If there was any error, it was that I underestimated how slow the guy was.

No, even with how little most people think of you I'm pretty sure we still overestimate you and you continually show that's completely unwarranted.

You could not have killed him if you wanted to, if you have that little room to maneuver you sure as shit did not have enough room to run over a fat guy in your econobox.

And I'm pretty sure a 10 year small 10 year old girl could beat your ass so all you wrote about some fat guy assaulting you I'm sure is nothing at all like you claim. But then I'm pretty sure the entire thing is total bullshit so who even cares.
 

Ruptga

Lifer
Aug 3, 2006
10,246
207
106
I thought about it but I didn't want him to break my window or beat up my car in frustration. I did think it through... Him trying to punch me was the least of my concerns.

You guys seriously underestimate me. This guy was never going to land a full blow. I just wanted to move juuust enough out of the way so that when he hit me, it would still count as assault and there would be no question as to who hit who first.

I considered getting video going on my phone to record it but... I didn't think I'd have time. If there was any error, it was that I underestimated how slow the guy was.

BUCd2i5.gif


You're overselling it.
 

Slew Foot

Lifer
Sep 22, 2005
12,379
96
86
Single lane onramp. A lot of people in line for the onramp (20+). I'm about 15 cars away from the onramp light. Chevy Tahoe with custom paint job (low-rider culture, maybe) five cars behind gets out of the line and tries to go onto the shoulder and what remains of the 2->1 lane thing. I move my car over to the edge of the wide lane so that he can't be a bitch.

He tailgates me, honks at me, I flip him the bird. He parks his car, runs after me, catches up (he's a bit heavy) and kicks the rear end of my car, I put my car into reverse and start to reverse after him to get him to get away (at this point he looks like he's going to actually come up to my car window), he backs up, and then I go forward again... he chases me again... (we're on an onramp, so I don't have anywhere to go because there's cars ahead of me) catches up and, I have my windows down (enjoying the fresh air!), grabs me and throws a punch at me. He just grazes me (I don't really have anywhere to go but I do my test Ali impression), tries to throw another and grab me but I speed up. At that point, he runs back to his car and gets past the cars and runs off the onramp. (Where we had got it opened up again) He takes the first exit and I don't pursue.

While he ran back to his car, I called 911... which is horrible in San Jose. It goes on for 30 seconds in Spanish, takes about a whole minute before I reach an operator... and then I tell them what little I remember about the car and the plates.

Windows down? It was raining all afternoon....
 

Skel

Diamond Member
Apr 11, 2001
6,213
671
136
Did you file the report? Did you get his license plate number so you could track him down and get vengeance 80s action movie style?