johnjohn320
Diamond Member
[blog]
The more my gf and I interact with our siblings and friends who have become parents in the last few years, the more convinced we become of our decision to never have kids ourselves. Mind you, we're not not negatively judging the decisions of others to become parents; it just simply isn't appealing to us in ANY way.
I'm sure that the love you feel once you have a child is overwhelming and incomparable to any other experience in life. It's beautiful. But, our observations of our peers with kids is that, most likely:
Your life, as you know it, is over. It's all about your kids, as it should be. That's good parenting. Whatever goals, professional or personal ambitions you have, whatever schedule you prefer, whatever life you'd like to lead for yourself is no longer relevant. If it's not what's best for the kids, forget about it. You should work the job that pays the best and has the best benefits, and has the schedule that allows you to be with your kids the most. If you hate it, if it's not your passion or what you set out to do, tough cookies. You have a family to provide for now. And kids cost an absolute shitload of money. What you earn is no longer yours-Johnny and Susie need to be fed, clothed, educated, entertained, enlightened and exposed...
Forget about spur of the moment decisions or scheduling changes; when and how you eat, sleep, shit, or go ANYWHERE is now beholden to another consideration, at least for the first few years.
You will become (I'm sorry) somewhat boring. Again, I'm not trying to judge people, just calling it as I (we) see it. Any stories you tell will be about your kids/parenting. Any travels, experiences, photographs, etc, will all be child-related. You will have no opinions on anything outside of parenting. Any exceptions to that will begin with "as a parent..." or "when I think about how this will affect my kids..." Doesn't matter if you're talking large-scale stuff like social issues or politics, or small-scale issues like problems that are going within the extended family or amongst close friends.
Your friends will be gone, out of your life. You simply won't have time...and if you do have time/energy for a phone call, the kids will be screaming/crying/running around in the background the whole time so loudly as to make it a completely unbearable conversation. Same goes for "hey, why don't you guys come over for dinner?" type activities.
Your relationship is not just about the two of you anymore. My gf and I know that we are together for one, single reason: We want to be. There are ZERO other considerations. If we're unhappy at any point, we can drop everything and go our separate ways. If we have kids, sayonara to that as well. Even if you hate each other, and you've both met someone else you'd rather be with, oh well. Better just be miserable, because you're a family now. It's a responsibility to take seriously; it's more important than your own happiness by a long shot.
I'm sure some people will be offended by my posting this, and take what I'm saying as personal judgments and insults. I don't mean for it to be, in fact, I applaud any parents out there. I don't know how you guys do it, it's incredible and admirable how selfless you are. I'm only stating that for myself, I just cannot imagine having even the slightest desire to procreate. I'm already bracing myself for the "since you're not a parent, you can't understand." It may be true, but it's also kind of a non-point to make.
I know that at some point, the biological clock may start tick tick ticking, and our stance may change (I'm in my late 20s, she just turned 30). But for now, kids? No thanks.
And now, on a Saturday night, I will proceed to go do whatever the fuck I want, because I have no other obligations or responsibilities to consider. 🙂
[/blog]
PS-and yes, I'll take the :cookies:, thank you. Om nom nom.
PPS-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S61vj1-Xjo 🙂
The more my gf and I interact with our siblings and friends who have become parents in the last few years, the more convinced we become of our decision to never have kids ourselves. Mind you, we're not not negatively judging the decisions of others to become parents; it just simply isn't appealing to us in ANY way.
I'm sure that the love you feel once you have a child is overwhelming and incomparable to any other experience in life. It's beautiful. But, our observations of our peers with kids is that, most likely:
Your life, as you know it, is over. It's all about your kids, as it should be. That's good parenting. Whatever goals, professional or personal ambitions you have, whatever schedule you prefer, whatever life you'd like to lead for yourself is no longer relevant. If it's not what's best for the kids, forget about it. You should work the job that pays the best and has the best benefits, and has the schedule that allows you to be with your kids the most. If you hate it, if it's not your passion or what you set out to do, tough cookies. You have a family to provide for now. And kids cost an absolute shitload of money. What you earn is no longer yours-Johnny and Susie need to be fed, clothed, educated, entertained, enlightened and exposed...
Forget about spur of the moment decisions or scheduling changes; when and how you eat, sleep, shit, or go ANYWHERE is now beholden to another consideration, at least for the first few years.
You will become (I'm sorry) somewhat boring. Again, I'm not trying to judge people, just calling it as I (we) see it. Any stories you tell will be about your kids/parenting. Any travels, experiences, photographs, etc, will all be child-related. You will have no opinions on anything outside of parenting. Any exceptions to that will begin with "as a parent..." or "when I think about how this will affect my kids..." Doesn't matter if you're talking large-scale stuff like social issues or politics, or small-scale issues like problems that are going within the extended family or amongst close friends.
Your friends will be gone, out of your life. You simply won't have time...and if you do have time/energy for a phone call, the kids will be screaming/crying/running around in the background the whole time so loudly as to make it a completely unbearable conversation. Same goes for "hey, why don't you guys come over for dinner?" type activities.
Your relationship is not just about the two of you anymore. My gf and I know that we are together for one, single reason: We want to be. There are ZERO other considerations. If we're unhappy at any point, we can drop everything and go our separate ways. If we have kids, sayonara to that as well. Even if you hate each other, and you've both met someone else you'd rather be with, oh well. Better just be miserable, because you're a family now. It's a responsibility to take seriously; it's more important than your own happiness by a long shot.
I'm sure some people will be offended by my posting this, and take what I'm saying as personal judgments and insults. I don't mean for it to be, in fact, I applaud any parents out there. I don't know how you guys do it, it's incredible and admirable how selfless you are. I'm only stating that for myself, I just cannot imagine having even the slightest desire to procreate. I'm already bracing myself for the "since you're not a parent, you can't understand." It may be true, but it's also kind of a non-point to make.
I know that at some point, the biological clock may start tick tick ticking, and our stance may change (I'm in my late 20s, she just turned 30). But for now, kids? No thanks.
And now, on a Saturday night, I will proceed to go do whatever the fuck I want, because I have no other obligations or responsibilities to consider. 🙂
[/blog]
PS-and yes, I'll take the :cookies:, thank you. Om nom nom.
PPS-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S61vj1-Xjo 🙂
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