maximus maximus

Platinum Member
Oct 17, 2004
2,140
0
0
One day, in a small town in the middle of no-where, a redneck wearing nothing but jeans and suspenders was pumping gas into his pinto at the local gas station. To his surprise, a rich man in a Ferrari pulled up next to him to pump gas into his $600,000 car. As the rich man was pumping gas he looked over at the bewildered redneck. Noticing the admiration on his face the rich man asked, in a cocky tone, "what, you wanna race farm boy?" Not one to back down to a challenge the redneck replied in a defiant tone "I sure do city boy!"

Shortly after that, the two men had there cars lined up on a super long stretch of straight road. The two men were standing in between the two cars discussing how to insure a fair start.

They finally concluded that the rich man would hold up 3 fingers and do a count down. When the last finger dropped they would go for it. So the rich man opened his door and stepped into his car, then the redneck walked around to the door of his car and climbed in.

The rich man started the count down and when the last finger fell they took off.

The rich man decided to toy with the redneck and only shift up to second gear, but by the time he got to full speed in second gear the pinto was just a dot in his rear view mirror. "What a waste of time." the rich man thought.

suddenly, RRRRROOOOOOMMMMMM!!! The pinto went roaring by.

"Whoa!" the rich man said. So then he shifted up into 3rd then 4th gear to still give the redneck a sporting chance. Once again the pinto became a dot in his rear view mirror.

RRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!! To the rich man's surprise the pinto went flying by again!

"FINE!" The rich man shouted. So then he went all out, shifting up into 6th gear and putting the pedal to the floor. By now the Ferrari was doing about 210 Mph. The Ferrari blew by the pinto and once again the pinto became a tiny speck in his rear view.

RRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!! The pinto blew by him again, practically blowing the Ferrari's doors off.

Having been beaten by the pinto the rich man pulled over to the side of the road and stopped. In a rage he got out and slammed his door as the redneck backed up next to his car.

"WHAT KIND OF MOTOR DO YOU HAVE IN THAT PINTO!" Shouted the rich man.

The redneck climbed out of his Pinto shaking like a nervous Chihuahua and replied, "I have no idea, BUT I GOT MY SUSPENDERS CAUGHT IN YOUR DOOR!!" :D

 

Crescent13

Diamond Member
Jan 12, 2005
4,793
1
0
0n3 d4y, in 4 5m411 70wn in teh midd13 0f n0-wh3r3, 4 r3dn3ck w34ring n07hing bu7 j34nz 4nd 5u5p3nd3rz w4z pumping g4z in70 hiz pin70 47 teh 10c41 g4z 5747i0n. 70 hiz 5urpri53, 4 rich m4n in 4 Ph3rr4ri pu113d up n3x7 70 him 70 pump g4z in70 hiz $600,000 c4r. 4z teh rich m4n w4z pumping g4z h3 100k3d 0v3r 47 teh b3wi1d3r3d r3dn3ck. N07icing teh 4dmir47i0n 0n hiz ph4c3 teh rich m4n 45k3d, in 4 c0cky 70n3, "wh47, j00 w4nn4 r4c3 ph4rm b0y?" N07 0n3 70 b4ck d0wn 70 4 ch4113ng3 teh r3dn3ck r3p1i3d in 4 d3fi4n7 70n3 "I 5ur3 d0 ci7y b0y!"

5h0r71y 4f73r 7h47, teh 7w0 m3n h4d 7h3r3 c4rz 1in3d up 0n 4 5up3r 10ng 57r37ch 0f 57r4igh7 r04d. teh 7w0 m3n w3r3 574nding in b37w33n teh 7w0 c4rz di5cu55ing h0w 70 in5ur3 4 ph4ir 574r7.

7h3y phin411y c0nc1ud3d 7h47 teh rich m4n w0u1d h01d up 3 phing3rz 4nd d0 4 c0un7 d0wn. Wh3n teh 1457 phing3r dr0pp3d 7h3y w0u1d g0 ph0r i7. 50 teh rich m4n 0p3n3d hiz d00r 4nd 573pp3d in70 hiz c4r, 7h3n teh r3dn3ck w41k3d 4r0und 70 teh d00r 0f hiz c4r 4nd c1imb3d in.

teh rich m4n 574r73d teh c0un7 d0wn 4nd wh3n teh 1457 phing3r ph311 7h3y 700k 0ff.

teh rich m4n d3cid3d 70 70y wi7h teh r3dn3ck 4nd 0n1y 5hif7 up 70 53c0nd g34r, bu7 by teh 7im3 h3 g07 70 phu11 5p33d in 53c0nd g34r teh pin70 w4z ju57 4 d07 in hiz r34r vi3w mirr0r. "Wh47 4 w4573 0f 7im3." teh rich m4n 7h0ugh7.

5udd3n1y, RRRRR000000MMMMMM!!! teh pin70 w3n7 r04ring by.

"Wh04!" teh rich m4n 54id. 50 7h3n h3 5hif73d up in70 3rd 7h3n 47h g34r 70 57i11 giv3 teh r3dn3ck 4 5p0r7ing ch4nc3. 0nc3 4g4in teh pin70 b3c4m3 4 d07 in hiz r34r vi3w mirr0r.

RRRRRRRR00000000000MMMMMMM!!!!!! 70 teh rich m4n'z 5urpri53 teh pin70 w3n7 ph1ying by 4g4in!

"FIN3!" teh rich m4n 5h0u73d. 50 7h3n h3 w3n7 411 0u7, 5hif7ing up in70 67h g34r 4nd pu77ing teh p3d41 70 teh ph100r. By n0w teh Ph3rr4ri w4z d0ing 4b0u7 210 Mph. teh Ph3rr4ri b13w by teh pin70 4nd 0nc3 4g4in teh pin70 b3c4m3 4 7iny 5p3ck in hiz r34r vi3w.

RRRRRRRRRR0000000000000MMMM!!!!!! teh pin70 b13w by him 4g4in, pr4c7ic411y b10wing teh Ph3rr4ri'z d00rz 0ff.

H4ving b33n b3473n by teh pin70 teh rich m4n pu113d 0v3r 70 teh 5id3 0f teh r04d 4nd 570pp3d. In 4 r4g3 h3 g07 0u7 4nd 514mm3d hiz d00r 4z teh r3dn3ck b4ck3d up n3x7 70 hiz c4r.

"WH47 KIND 0F M070R D0 J00 H4V3 IN 7H47 PIN70!" 5h0u73d teh rich m4n.

teh r3dn3ck c1imb3d 0u7 0f hiz Pin70 5h4king 1ik3 4 n3rv0uz Chihu4hu4 4nd r3p1i3d, "I h4v3 n0 id34, BU7 I G07 MY 5U5P3ND3RZ C4UGH7 IN J00R D00R!!"


LMAO!!!
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
I heard this in a variation where it was a guy on a scooter and a sportscar.