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joke: the cathouse parrot

Maximus96

Maximus96

Diamond Member
> A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful
parrot.

> There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

> "Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.

> The owner looked at her & said, "Look, I should tell you first that
this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution, & sometimes it says
some pretty vulgar stuff."

> The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird
anyway.

> She took it home & hung the bird's cage up in her living room &
waited for it to say something.

> The bird looked around the room, then at her, & said, "New house,
new madam."

> The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought
"that's really not so bad."

> When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw &
said,"New house, new madam, new girls."

> The girls & the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh
about the situation considering how & where the parrot had been raised.

> Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.

> The bird looked at him & said, "Hi, Keith."
 
A bloke is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud; "Jeesh. I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot".
"Holy shiat", the bloke replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word", says the parrot. "I happen to be highly intelligent & thoroughly educated."
"Oh yeah?", the bloke asks, "Then how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well", the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my penis around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak English, can't you!"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The bloke looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"
The bloke offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathises, and he's insightful. The bloke is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing.
"I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the bloke.
"When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nighty and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the bloke asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over" reported the parrot.
"My God!" the bloke exclaims. "Then what?"
"Then he lifted up the nighty, got down on his knees and began to lick her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down...."
"WELL???" demands the frantic bloke, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"F*** knows, I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
 
Originally posted by: hdeck
Originally posted by: Ness
I don't get it. Someone explain it to me. Seriously.
Click to expand...

the bird knew his name beforehand, i.e. he was a regular at the whore house.
Click to expand...

that was sarcasm 😉 Because someone always say it...
 
Originally posted by: azazyel
A bloke is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud; "Jeesh. I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot".
"Holy shiat", the bloke replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word", says the parrot. "I happen to be highly intelligent & thoroughly educated."
"Oh yeah?", the bloke asks, "Then how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well", the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my penis around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak English, can't you!"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The bloke looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"
The bloke offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathises, and he's insightful. The bloke is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing.
"I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the bloke.
"When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nighty and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the bloke asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over" reported the parrot.
"My God!" the bloke exclaims. "Then what?"
"Then he lifted up the nighty, got down on his knees and began to lick her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down...."
"WELL???" demands the frantic bloke, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"F*** knows, I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
Click to expand...

Yeah, sort of like the one I've heard, except in that one the Bird's defect is an oversized penis.
 
Originally posted by: azazyel
A bloke is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud; "Jeesh. I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot".
"Holy shiat", the bloke replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word", says the parrot. "I happen to be highly intelligent & thoroughly educated."
"Oh yeah?", the bloke asks, "Then how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well", the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my penis around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak English, can't you!"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The bloke looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"
The bloke offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathises, and he's insightful. The bloke is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing.
"I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the bloke.
"When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nighty and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the bloke asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over" reported the parrot.
"My God!" the bloke exclaims. "Then what?"
"Then he lifted up the nighty, got down on his knees and began to lick her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down...."
"WELL???" demands the frantic bloke, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"F*** knows, I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
Click to expand...








Funny 😀
 
Originally posted by: azazyel
A bloke is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud; "Jeesh. I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot".
"Holy shiat", the bloke replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word", says the parrot. "I happen to be highly intelligent & thoroughly educated."
"Oh yeah?", the bloke asks, "Then how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well", the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my penis around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak English, can't you!"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The bloke looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"
The bloke offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathises, and he's insightful. The bloke is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing.
"I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the bloke.
"When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nighty and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the bloke asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over" reported the parrot.
"My God!" the bloke exclaims. "Then what?"
"Then he lifted up the nighty, got down on his knees and began to lick her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down...."
"WELL???" demands the frantic bloke, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"F*** knows, I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
Click to expand...

hahaha.. that one got me rolling..
 
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