Billy was one profane, race-track-betting motherfvcker: frustrated with heavy losses, he would always be finishing sentences with 'motherfvcker'. So Billy decides to buy a fast horse to win a few races. He goes to a stud farm outside town and asks the man-in-charge, "I wanna buy a motherfvcking horse that can win races, motherfvcker." The man-in-charge says, "You can buy this one - Ol' Greasy. One problem: when you say motherfvcker, the horse charges like the Roman Cavalry. To get him to stop, you gotta yell 'Stop you worthless piece-of-crap'."
Billy says, "I'll take him, motherfvcker. Put it on my motherfvckin' Visa."
So Billy takes him out on a test run. "Let's see what you can do, Ol' Greasy Motherfvcker..." The horse starts galloping a little faster. Soon, they are out on the highway. A Porsche convertible with a hot blonde goes by. "Damn, that is one motherfvcking babe in a motherfvcking-cool car!" The horse charges forward, almost matching the Porsche. Billy exclaims, "Whoa, who would have thought a motherfvcking horse could run at 50mph...." he wonders aloud in amazement, "motherfvcker!!! Whoa not you...slow down Ol' Greasy motherfvcker..."
The horse is now officially the fastest moving object on the road. And Billy knows there's a cliff right ahead. He tells the horse, "Remember to swerve to the right at the fork, you motherfvcker!" Ol' Greasy loses it and is - incredibly - going EVEN FASTER. The cliff is just a few hundred feet away. Billy yells, "Slow down you blasted motherfvcking horse....why won't you stop you motherfvcker...help...get me off of this horse...." but the horse just won't run out of steam! With every curse, it seems to impossibly gain even more speed. The cliff is now merely a few dozen feet away. Finally, Billy remembers what the dealer told him. He yells with everything he's got, "STOP YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP!"
The horse stops dead in his tracks, merely a foot from the cliff. Billy wipes the sweat off his brow, tries to clear his head and finally mutters under his breath, "Whoa, one more second and I would have been a dead motherfvcker!"
Billy says, "I'll take him, motherfvcker. Put it on my motherfvckin' Visa."
So Billy takes him out on a test run. "Let's see what you can do, Ol' Greasy Motherfvcker..." The horse starts galloping a little faster. Soon, they are out on the highway. A Porsche convertible with a hot blonde goes by. "Damn, that is one motherfvcking babe in a motherfvcking-cool car!" The horse charges forward, almost matching the Porsche. Billy exclaims, "Whoa, who would have thought a motherfvcking horse could run at 50mph...." he wonders aloud in amazement, "motherfvcker!!! Whoa not you...slow down Ol' Greasy motherfvcker..."
The horse is now officially the fastest moving object on the road. And Billy knows there's a cliff right ahead. He tells the horse, "Remember to swerve to the right at the fork, you motherfvcker!" Ol' Greasy loses it and is - incredibly - going EVEN FASTER. The cliff is just a few hundred feet away. Billy yells, "Slow down you blasted motherfvcking horse....why won't you stop you motherfvcker...help...get me off of this horse...." but the horse just won't run out of steam! With every curse, it seems to impossibly gain even more speed. The cliff is now merely a few dozen feet away. Finally, Billy remembers what the dealer told him. He yells with everything he's got, "STOP YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP!"
The horse stops dead in his tracks, merely a foot from the cliff. Billy wipes the sweat off his brow, tries to clear his head and finally mutters under his breath, "Whoa, one more second and I would have been a dead motherfvcker!"
Facebook
Twitter