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Joke of the day!

Phokus

Phokus

Lifer
A lady walks into a bar on the thirtieth floor of a swanky hotel and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.

"Magic Beer", he says.

She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"

"Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window.

The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."

He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.

She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."

She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.

The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know Superman, you're a real a$$hole when you're drunk."
Click to expand...
 
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied. "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?" "No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
 
One day, Little Johnny's teacher, Miss Figpot asked the class "children, if know the answer, please raise your hand! Tell me things you can suck!"
"Ice cream, mam!" Little Mary answered.
"Good, Jane." Miss Figpot said, "Anyone else?".
"How about a lollipop!" said Steven.
"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!", the teacher said.
Little Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!".
The teacher and all of the students wondered about Little Johnny's answer. Then the teacher asked him, "Johnny, why do you think one can suck lamp?"
"Well, last night when I passed my parents' bedroom", Little Johnny answered, "I heard my mom say, 'turn off the lamp, honey and let me suck it.'"
 
Following the superman theme.

Superman was bored because Batman and Spiderman were on vacation and there was nothing much to do.
Flying around New York one day, he spotted Wonder Woman who was completely naked and lying on her back with her legs apart on the roof of a tall building.

He had always lusted after Wonder Woman so he thought he would swoop down and have his wicked way with her.

Superman thinks, 'Hey, I am Superman, I can fly down there at the speed of light, have a quickie and fly back out and she won't even know what happened.'

Superman flies down, does a quick in-out-in-out and flies back out at the speed of light.

Wonder Woman says, "What the hell was that?" to which the the Invisible Man responds, "I don't know but my a$$ is killing me!"
Click to expand...
 
Originally posted by: etech
Following the superman theme.

Superman was bored because Batman and Spiderman were on vacation and there was nothing much to do.
Flying around New York one day, he spotted Wonder Woman who was completely naked and lying on her back with her legs apart on the roof of a tall building.

He had always lusted after Wonder Woman so he thought he would swoop down and have his wicked way with her.

Superman thinks, 'Hey, I am Superman, I can fly down there at the speed of light, have a quickie and fly back out and she won't even know what happened.'

Superman flies down, does a quick in-out-in-out and flies back out at the speed of light.

Wonder Woman says, "What the hell was that?" to which the the Invisible Man responds, "I don't know but my a$$ is killing me!"
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

lol
 
Originally posted by: Phokus
A lady walks into a bar on the thirtieth floor of a swanky hotel and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.

"Magic Beer", he says.

She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"

"Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window.

The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."

He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.

She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."

She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.

The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know Superman, you're a real a$$hole when you're drunk."
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

oh boy, 🙁 😉
 
Originally posted by: Phokus
A lady walks into a bar on the thirtieth floor of a swanky hotel and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.

"Magic Beer", he says.

She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"

"Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window.

The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."

He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.

She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."

She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.

The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know Superman, you're a real a$$hole when you're drunk."
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

lol that's a good one.
 
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