Join the Joy of Satan ministries!

[Braznor]

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/HOME.html

Who here wants to be a part of the Anandtech Coven? :biggrin:

 

[Squisher]

It says there are different sects, can ours have the one where the women give of themselves freely and we all get to smoke dope?

 

[Krazy4Real]

I will respectfully decline.

 

[ShawnD1]

You can have any religion you want. That doesn't mean people will follow you.

What's weird is that your religion will get more followers if you make it more crazy. If your religion was to have fun to screw around, nobody would listen. If you tell people they will BURN IN HELL FOREVER IF THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO YOU then suddenly they listen. They will kill for you too. And you can molest young boys and marry tons of women who aren't of legal age yet. Score!!!

 

[TwiceOver]

Angelfire? That place still exists?

 

[AMDZen]

I find this stuff fascinating

 

[Ancalagon44]

Wow....

You guys should read some of those texts. The guy is seriously deluded. I mean, I'm no Christian, but wow... this guy is special. He needs help actually.

The "ceremony" to swear yourself to Satan is just priceless:

The initiation ritual is very personal, unless you decide to have friends participate, or are doing it as part of a group.

You will need:

1 or more black, blue or red candles (as many as you like)
A sterilized needle or razor
A piece of clean paper, large enough to write the prayer below
A dry pen, where you sign your name in blood (dip the tip of the pen in your blood)

Write the following prayer:

Before the almighty and ineffable God Satan/Lucifer and in the presence of all Demons of Hell, who are the True and the Original gods, I, (state your full name) renounce any and all past allegiances. I renounce the false Judeo/Christian god Jehova, I renounce his vile and worthless son Jesus Christ, I renounce his foul, odious, and rotten holy spirit.

I proclaim Satan Lucifer as my one and only God. I promise to recognize and honor him in all things, without reservation, desiring in return, his manifold assistance in the successful completion of my endeavors.

I mean.... wow.... it goes on more about other gods (ie jehovah) than it does about the supposed true god. And if the term demons is just a slander on the old gods to deceive humanity, then, uh, why refer to them as demons? Why not just say the old gods?

 

[Fritzo]

Let's get those guys in a war with these guys:

http://forums.anandtech.com/showthread.php?t=2204659

 

[ShawnD1]

Wow....

You guys should read some of those texts. The guy is seriously deluded. I mean, I'm no Christian, but wow... this guy is special. He needs help actually.

The "ceremony" to swear yourself to Satan is just priceless:

I never understood the fascination with writing things in blood. I remember bleeding all over things when I was young, and it doesn't stay as well as you'd think.

"it's not like it's written in blood" is a silly phrase. Even if it is written in blood, it is easily washed off with hot water or it can be dried then scratched off.