Jesus and Moses Golfing

[oogabooga]

Hopefully not a repost, i searched:

One day Jesus and Moses were golfing, and they came up to the 9th hole. Moses goes first, and decides for this hole to pull out his iron. Moses hits the ball, and plop, it lands in the water. Moses looks at Jesus, Jesus nods, then Moses proceeds to part the water and retrieve his ball. Having learned his lesson, Moses then pulls out a wood, hits the ball, and it lands on the green. Next Jesus goes up to tee off, and he pulls out his Iron. Moses looks on in fascination as Jesus hits it and it lands in the water. Moses says : "Well, you've let me retrieve a ball once so..." then Moses parts the water and Jesus walks over, gets his ball, and comes back. Jesus preps his shot with the iron again to which Moses asks "you're using the Iron?" to which Jesus replies "Tiger Woods would use the Iron". Moses gives him a funny look and Jesus swings again only to land in the water. Moses shrugs, parts the water, and Jesus retrieves his ball.
Jesus once again preps with the iron and moses asks "You're going to use the iron again?" to which jesus replied "Tiger Woods would use the Iron" and hits the ball into the water yet again.
Moses somewhat frustrated looks at Jesus and says "that's it, if you hit the ball in the water again, you'll have to play it where it lands". Jesus replies "Tiger woods would use the iron."
Jesus preps for his shot, and again hits it into the water. Since he now has to play it where it lands he walks out onto the water.
At this point, they've taken so long that the group behind them has caught up. One guy see's Jesus walking on the water to hit his ball and says "HEY! who's that guy think he is? Jesus?"
Moses replies " No, he thinks he's Tiger Woods".

 

[toekramp]

blah

 

[Dr. Detroit]

4/10

 

[new2AMD]

Joke started with Bobby Jones then went to Palmer, then Nicklaus and now Tiger.

 

[vood0g]

2/10

 

[Schadenfreude]

Puchline is horrible, and setup is waay too long

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Better "Fictitious People Going Golfing Joke" Below:

Jesus, Moses, and an old man are out golfing, and reach a water-trapped Par 3.

Jesus tees up and hits his ball straight into the drink, where it lands on a lilypad. Jesus walks on water over to the lilypad and hits the ball onto the green with a wood.

Moses tees up and hits his ball, which also flies straight into the water, where it sinks to the bottom. Moses parts the water trap and chips out onto the green with a wedge.

The old man tees up and swats the ball lighty into the water. A fish emerges with the golf ball in its mouth. From above, a bald eagle swoops down and plucks the bird in its talons. As it flies over the green, the fish drops the ball, landing on the green and rolling into the hole for a hole-in-one.

Jesus looks at the old man disapprovingly. "Aw, Dad, quit screwing around and play golf."

- M4H

 

[cavemanmoron]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Better "Fictitious People Going Golfing Joke" Below:

Jesus, Moses, and an old man are out golfing, and reach a water-trapped Par 3.

Jesus tees up and hits his ball straight into the drink, where it lands on a lilypad. Jesus walks on water over to the lilypad and hits the ball onto the green with a wood.

Moses tees up and hits his ball, which also flies straight into the water, where it sinks to the bottom. Moses parts the water trap and chips out onto the green with a wedge.

The old man tees up and swats the ball lighty into the water. A fish emerges with the golf ball in its mouth. From above, a bald eagle swoops down and plucks the bird in its talons. As it flies over the green, the fish drops the ball, landing on the green and rolling into the hole for a hole-in-one.

Jesus looks at the old man disapprovingly. "Aw, Dad, quit screwing around and play golf."

- M4H

 

[brian_riendeau]

2 out of 10. Way too much setup, and it was not that funny

 

[OrganizedChaos]

Originally posted by: cavemanmoron

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Better "Fictitious People Going Golfing Joke" Below:

Jesus, Moses, and an old man are out golfing, and reach a water-trapped Par 3.

Jesus tees up and hits his ball straight into the drink, where it lands on a lilypad. Jesus walks on water over to the lilypad and hits the ball onto the green with a wood.

Moses tees up and hits his ball, which also flies straight into the water, where it sinks to the bottom. Moses parts the water trap and chips out onto the green with a wedge.

The old man tees up and swats the ball lighty into the water. A fish emerges with the golf ball in its mouth. From above, a bald eagle swoops down and plucks the bird in its talons. As it flies over the green, the fish drops the ball, landing on the green and rolling into the hole for a hole-in-one.

Jesus looks at the old man disapprovingly. "Aw, Dad, quit screwing around and play golf."

- M4H

old man should have been darwin

 

[jjones]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Better "Fictitious People Going Golfing Joke" Below:

Jesus, Moses, and an old man are out golfing, and reach a water-trapped Par 3.

Jesus tees up and hits his ball straight into the drink, where it lands on a lilypad. Jesus walks on water over to the lilypad and hits the ball onto the green with a wood.

Moses tees up and hits his ball, which also flies straight into the water, where it sinks to the bottom. Moses parts the water trap and chips out onto the green with a wedge.

The old man tees up and swats the ball lighty into the water. A fish emerges with the golf ball in its mouth. From above, a bald eagle swoops down and plucks the bird in its talons. As it flies over the green, the fish drops the ball, landing on the green and rolling into the hole for a hole-in-one.

Jesus looks at the old man disapprovingly. "Aw, Dad, quit screwing around and play golf."

- M4H

:beer:

 

[Hyperblaze]

Joke was really blah

 

[Ninjja]

Originally posted by: cavemanmoron

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Better "Fictitious People Going Golfing Joke" Below:

Jesus, Moses, and an old man are out golfing, and reach a water-trapped Par 3.

Jesus tees up and hits his ball straight into the drink, where it lands on a lilypad. Jesus walks on water over to the lilypad and hits the ball onto the green with a wood.

Moses tees up and hits his ball, which also flies straight into the water, where it sinks to the bottom. Moses parts the water trap and chips out onto the green with a wedge.

The old man tees up and swats the ball lighty into the water. A fish emerges with the golf ball in its mouth. From above, a bald eagle swoops down and plucks the bird in its talons. As it flies over the green, the fish drops the ball, landing on the green and rolling into the hole for a hole-in-one.

Jesus looks at the old man disapprovingly. "Aw, Dad, quit screwing around and play golf."

- M4H

hjehehehe

 

[BW86]

lol hehe 7/10

 

[Hyperblaze]

Originally posted by: Ninjja

Originally posted by: cavemanmoron

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Better "Fictitious People Going Golfing Joke" Below:

Jesus, Moses, and an old man are out golfing, and reach a water-trapped Par 3.

Jesus tees up and hits his ball straight into the drink, where it lands on a lilypad. Jesus walks on water over to the lilypad and hits the ball onto the green with a wood.

Moses tees up and hits his ball, which also flies straight into the water, where it sinks to the bottom. Moses parts the water trap and chips out onto the green with a wedge.

The old man tees up and swats the ball lighty into the water. A fish emerges with the golf ball in its mouth. From above, a bald eagle swoops down and plucks the bird in its talons. As it flies over the green, the fish drops the ball, landing on the green and rolling into the hole for a hole-in-one.

Jesus looks at the old man disapprovingly. "Aw, Dad, quit screwing around and play golf."

- M4H

hjehehehe

made me chuckle! nice!

 

[imported_waldo]

Originally posted by: Ninjja

Originally posted by: cavemanmoron

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Better "Fictitious People Going Golfing Joke" Below:

Jesus, Moses, and an old man are out golfing, and reach a water-trapped Par 3.

Jesus tees up and hits his ball straight into the drink, where it lands on a lilypad. Jesus walks on water over to the lilypad and hits the ball onto the green with a wood.

Moses tees up and hits his ball, which also flies straight into the water, where it sinks to the bottom. Moses parts the water trap and chips out onto the green with a wedge.

The old man tees up and swats the ball lighty into the water. A fish emerges with the golf ball in its mouth. From above, a bald eagle swoops down and plucks the bird in its talons. As it flies over the green, the fish drops the ball, landing on the green and rolling into the hole for a hole-in-one.

Jesus looks at the old man disapprovingly. "Aw, Dad, quit screwing around and play golf."

- M4H

hjehehehe