Jeeze -- Every episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent is the same thing

EDIT: I feed the need to elaborate:

Scene 1

Antagonist kills someone.

Scene 2

Goren gets on the scene and finds some small tiny clue no one else on Earth could have possibly found. This may involve Goren reading a clue written in Swahili or delving into his expansive knowledge of 12th Century Dutch ceramics.

Eames scratches her ass.

Scenes 3 - 4

Goren and Eames talk to a bunch of people. Most are dumb meat puppets with nothing to add to the show (sort of like Eames). One however gives Goren an "in" which he instantly catches and exploits.

Eames stares at the wall with her mouth open thinking about shoes.

Scene 5

Suspect realizes Goren is a force to be reckoned with and panics. Knowing Goren will eventually catch him he starts doing stupid things that eventually trip him up and get him arrested.

Scene 6

Goren, Eames, and the smooth as jazz ADA sit in the police station. Goren stares at the wall, rocks back and forth in his chair, and talks to himself because everyone else on the show is obviously too dumb to follow along. After rocking back and forth for a while and tying 200 subtle clues together he jumps up with definitive proof that the suspect committed the murder.

Scene 7

Gorem and Eames arrest the suspect. Goren grills the suspect for 20 minutes in front of his lawyer and the lawyer does nothing to stop it. Eames says a couple lines every 10 minutes to the tune of "duh" and "um".

Scene 7 (continued)

Goren does an uber-psychological mindf*ck on the suspect. The suspect can no longer take the mastery of Goren and gets up and confesses, screaming and crying.

The suspect's lawyer does nothing to stop any of this and sits there doing his best Eames impression.

Scene 8

Goren, Eames, and the smooth ADA leave to go home. The ADA says something clever, what it is we don't really care, but DAMN he's smooth.
 

SSP

Lifer
Oct 11, 1999
17,727
0
0
L&O:CI sucks balls compared to the other L&O series. I hate that Gorgon guy. DIE BASTARD DIE!!!!


hmmm... anyway...
 

Smaulz

Senior member
Jun 20, 2001
938
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I completely agree. First of all, I seriously don't think they should have used that guy for the part. Secondly, the whole show seems half-assed compared to the other L&O's. *ICK*
 

RU482

Lifer
Apr 9, 2000
12,689
3
81
Another show that's the same steaming plate of crap every week is Boston Public.
 

loup garou

Lifer
Feb 17, 2000
35,132
1
81
It's really a shame because I love L&O & SVU and Vincent D'Onofrio is an awesome actor...but CI sucks.
 

LeeTJ

Diamond Member
Jan 21, 2003
4,899
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Originally posted by: dwell
1) Some evil person kills someone.
2) Goren gets on the scene and finds some small tiny clue none one on Earth could possibly find.
3) Eames scratches her ass.
4) Goren and Eames grill the suspect. Goren gets in suspects head while Eames scratches her ass.
5) Suspect panics and does stupid things that eventually get them caught.
6) Goren grills the suspect for 20 minutes in front of their lawyer and the lawyer does nothing to stop it. Eames scratches her ass.
7) Goren does uber-psychological mindf*ck on the suspect and they scream at him and confess. The lawyer does nothing to stop this.

i've only watched about 3 episodes and that about sums up all three.

and NO the other Law & Order are NOT the same as this formula. the original is still the best.
 

NFS4

No Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
72,636
47
91
CI sucks ass!! The chick NEVER does anything:| She's a usless figure. Goren must be some kind of uber genious or something.

Anyway, L&O and L&O: SVU rock hardcore.

BoomTown ownz all of them.
 

GasX

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
29,033
6
81
tonight's episode: he finds a tiny pice of plastic in an illegal search and knows that it is from a rare Chevy Bel Air Model...

rolleye.gif
 

LeeTJ

Diamond Member
Jan 21, 2003
4,899
0
0

NFS4

No Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
72,636
47
91
Originally posted by: dwell
I am probably alone here but I like the new blonde ADA on the regular L&O.

Yep, she's very tastey!! I don't like the other blonde DA from SVU though. She scares me.


But nobody tops Briscoe!! Homeboy is the f*&king man!! My wednesday night is not complete until I hear a Lennie one-liner right before the opening credits :D
 

Originally posted by: NFS4
Originally posted by: dwell
I am probably alone here but I like the new blonde ADA on the regular L&O.

Yep, she's very tastey!! I don't like the other blonde DA from SVU though. She scares me.
She's a man baby!
But nobody tops Briscoe!! Homeboy is the f*&king man!! My wednesday night is not complete until I hear a Lennie one-liner right before the opening credits :D
We gotta do a Lenny one-liner thread again.

 

LeeTJ

Diamond Member
Jan 21, 2003
4,899
0
0
Originally posted by: NFS4
Originally posted by: dwell
I am probably alone here but I like the new blonde ADA on the regular L&O.

Yep, she's very tastey!! But nobody tops Briscoe!! Homeboy is the f*&king man!! My wednesday night is not complete until I hear a Lennie one-liner right before the opening credits :D

hmmm

read like this, it comes off a bit strange???
 

NFS4

No Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
72,636
47
91
Originally posted by: LeeTJ
Originally posted by: NFS4
Originally posted by: dwell
I am probably alone here but I like the new blonde ADA on the regular L&O.

Yep, she's very tastey!! But nobody tops Briscoe!! Homeboy is the f*&king man!! My wednesday night is not complete until I hear a Lennie one-liner right before the opening credits :D

hmmm

read like this, it comes off a bit strange???

Only if you run it together in one line like that :D

I was making three points

1) Blonde from L&O is shaggable
2) Blonde from SVU is creepy
3) Briscoe tops all characters from any show b/c he is just too awesome!