I have a good jail.courtoom story....
Got a ticket for making an illegal turn out of a dunkin donuts store - my turn to buy for the office that particular Friday....my POS (now) ex-wife says she'll take care of getting the ticket paid.........1.5 years later I come home from basketball and house stinks like cat litter...it's a bit after 11pm, so I had to drive a bit to get to a 24hr grocery store, and it's pouring rain, a really hard storm......I get pulled over about halfway...apparently one of the headlights of my pickup had burned out.....so he takes my info, goes back to his car............and waits.........and waits.....about 20 minutes later he comes up and asks me to get out of the car, cuffs me, kind of pushes me onto the hood, pats me down, asks me if I have any weapons, etc, etc...I am like "wtf is going on?"....turns out there was a warrant for my arrest FROM THE UNPAID TICKET mentioned previously...so they take me to the local station, finger print me, take some pictures....I call the POS at home, and it's probably 1am by now...and she hangs up on me, thinking it was a wrong number as she was 99% asleep while I was talking...nice.....so then the cops come from the city where I got the ticket, and take me to their jail......they ask me for my shoelaces....I'm like "why?"...uh...some people have hung themselves....my reply is "it's an unpaid traffic ticket!", and another remark about the fact that my shoelaces would likely not hold up since I'm 6'0 and 3 bills....so I put my lovely orange suit on, and am shown to the cell area.....two 'cells' on each side with a tv in the middle...3 other people in there.....one had raped his ex wife, one was in for his 5th or 6th drug related arrest, and the other guy had some parole violation involving selling weapons....(I found out all that the next day, I didn't know it then..)...so I go sleepless that night, and the next morning we get carted off to the courthouse a few cities away...lucky for me, that day is traffic court day - so I get to walk in front of a few hundred people in an orange suit and handcuffs.....as we were walking into the courthouse, I was very thirsty, but I was cuffed to the guy in front of me, who was a little tiny guy....so I braced myself for the inevitable tug, but I was stopping to get a drink of water.....nearly pulled his arm off! He was all pissed, but I didn't even respond to him...
So we are in the courtroom....the first guy gets up - had raped his ex wife...real classy guy...the crowd is clearly appalled with this guy...pretty much the same thing for the next two as well....my turn....the judge, who could pass for the twin brother of the guy who killed himself near the beginning of Dances with Wolves, kind of paused when he read the charges aloud...."unpaid traffic ticket" doesn't have the impact that 'assault, rape, and felony weapons charges' have...then he remarks that it had been a little over a year and a half since the ticket was given, and asked how they tracked me down - he didn't appreciate the humor in my remark of "must have been all those milk cartons my picture has been on"....and then I was fined $300, and that was it....and I asked if it was necessary for me to spend a night in jail for that purpose, with no reply.....
I never did get my shoelaces back....
The cities involved are North Randall (jail), Bedford (courthouse), and University Hts (pulled over) - and they can all below me....
These stories need no embelishment....
Facebook
Twitter