I've become extraordinarily bitter

[Stuxnet]

Just die, you are wasting bandwidth

That's pretty rich coming from you...

 

[olds]

thread definitely should be moved there. for one thing, the Emo would get more advice and less harassment there.

But would the advice be any good? He needs to hear the truth.

 

[DominionSeraph]

So you mean pursue different girls at once or offer a girl choices ranging from completely harmless to lets go shaguar?

The range, because girls shouldn't even be in your head. If your only goal on an outing is to get a girl, unless you're a player who knows how to present, it's gonna mess with how you come across. You're gonna be showing "desperation" rather than, "I'm a guy who can let loose and just have fun."

Go out with your friends and make them the center of your attention. Be friendly with the people around you -- throw them smiles, lean in and make an opening comment about the band, music, atmosphere, giving them an opening to comment back. People like to be around people who are comfortable being around people. Being open to others tells a girl who's looking at you that there's room for her to step in and play.
Every now and again, look up from what you're doing with your group and let your eyes slide over the crowd. Your eyes will rest on things you find attractive/flirtatious. Those girls will notice. If you're at all decent-looking you'll get eye contact now and again. A few instances of flirting and either the group of girls (it's always a group) will come to yours or you can split off and go casually ask them if they want to join. If they do, they do -- just treat them like people, not a catch that might get away. You were friendly with strangers, so be friendly with them.
If they don't want to join, they don't. It's no biggie. You're not "turned down" as you were only asking if they wanted to come join your fun group, not laying your heart on the line for one of them.

It's a stress-free way to meet people. The center of it is to not be serious and just have fun.

If you're the stand-out in your group you'll probably get paired with the hot chick. If you're not you're gonna be left with her friends. The second-tier can still be attractive, though, and they're generally have better personalities and are easier to be around. So go with it either way. Never leave a bro hanging -- if he's getting somewhere with a girl, entertain her friends. At the very least you will still be having fun, and you might get somewhere yourself.


This probably ain't the only way to go about things, but it's worked me through severe social awkwardness. I'm a nerd, and I'm not comfortable being around people when I'm my normal insular self. But get some juices flowing and I can forget who I am. I can be loud as hell and grandiose, playing around with other people like I've known them forever, whooping it up with the lively and letting the timid know it's time to let loose.
I'm quite impressed with the hotness of the women I've gotten. It certainly beats the zero action I was getting when I was stiff as a board and solely focused on sex which I thought being a "nice guy" would earn me.
Nice Guy is a creeper. Fun Guy rules.

(As long as you're not "Fat Fun Guy." A barrel can still get some action. A blob... not so much. Work out, especially lats and delts. [Bent-over row is my favorite exercise. I LOVE working back.] The ladies seem to like the broad shoulders.)

 

[Lean L]

The range, because girls shouldn't even be in your head. If your only goal on an outing is to get a girl, unless you're a player who knows how to present, it's gonna mess with how you come across. You're gonna be showing "desperation" rather than, "I'm a guy who can let loose and just have fun."

Go out with your friends and make them the center of your attention. Be friendly with the people around you -- throw them smiles, lean in and make an opening comment about the band, music, atmosphere, giving them an opening to comment back. People like to be around people who are comfortable being around people. Being open to others tells a girl who's looking at you that there's room for her to step in and play.
Every now and again, look up from what you're doing with your group and let your eyes slide over the crowd. Your eyes will rest on things you find attractive/flirtatious. Those girls will notice. If you're at all decent-looking you'll get eye contact now and again. A few instances of flirting and either the group of girls (it's always a group) will come to yours or you can split off and go casually ask them if they want to join. If they do, they do -- just treat them like people, not a catch that might get away. You were friendly with strangers, so be friendly with them.
If they don't want to join, they don't. It's no biggie. You're not "turned down" as you were only asking if they wanted to come join your fun group, not laying your heart on the line for one of them.

It's a stress-free way to meet people. The center of it is to not be serious and just have fun.

If you're the stand-out in your group you'll probably get paired with the hot chick. If you're not you're gonna be left with her friends. The second-tier can still be attractive, though, and they're generally have better personalities and are easier to be around. So go with it either way. Never leave a bro hanging -- if he's getting somewhere with a girl, entertain her friends. At the very least you will still be having fun, and you might get somewhere yourself.


This probably ain't the only way to go about things, but it's worked me through severe social awkwardness. I'm a nerd, and I'm not comfortable being around people when I'm my normal insular self. But get some juices flowing and I can forget who I am. I can be loud as hell and grandiose, playing around with other people like I've known them forever, whooping it up with the lively and letting the timid know it's time to let loose.
I'm quite impressed with the hotness of the women I've gotten. It certainly beats the zero action I was getting when I was stiff as a board and solely focused on sex which I thought being a "nice guy" would earn me.
Nice Guy is a creeper. Fun Guy rules.

(As long as you're not "Fat Fun Guy." A barrel can still get some action. A blob... not so much. Work out, especially lats and delts. [Bent-over row is my favorite exercise. I LOVE working back.] The ladies seem to like the broad shoulders.)

Hmm I guess I can see that. I need some better friends first though. Not that I don't love my friends but there are ones who don't go out and then those who aren't much better than me when they go out. I admit I've probably off-put some of them by not being a good wingman when I went with them though. Guess that makes sense in that I need to get over myself and help the group.

The fun thing I really really really need to work on. Last year I went to a concert and something once in a lifetime happened. I am still kicking myself over this one particular missed opportunity. I was watching the concert when from the corner of my eye I see a girl a her friend walk past me and stop around two o'clock. One of them looked at me then proceeded to do a hypnotic dance in reverse. This had me insanely confused as this girl was very attractive, as in out of my league by quite a bit. She looked good all around and really seemed to be enjoying herself. It got to the point where she made contact with my leg and for some reason I still didn't kick in.... She walked away pretty quickly after that. To this day I am left wondering wth was wrong with me that I didn't do anything about that.

Seems like this could all have been avoided if I focused more on having fun instead of worrying about stupid things that really do not have any merit. What you're saying with the whole being open and having fun makes sense. It's hard not being a tightass though.

I think I may try the rejection thing or learn how to dance to try to boost the confidence.

 

[SP33Demon]

meetup.com, expand your social circle.

 

[Zen0]

Hmm I guess I can see that. I need some better friends first though. Not that I don't love my friends but there are ones who don't go out and then those who aren't much better than me when they go out. I admit I've probably off-put some of them by not being a good wingman when I went with them though. Guess that makes sense in that I need to get over myself and help the group.

The first thing people have mentioned is to get over yourself. It's great to improve yourself to build self confidence, but you are you, and you won't be Einstein, or Arnold, or Ron Jeremy... and that's fine. The Ego gets in your way, puts yourself down, or whatever.

The fun thing I really really really need to work on. Last year I went to a concert and something once in a lifetime happened. I am still kicking myself over this one particular missed opportunity. I was watching the concert when from the corner of my eye I see a girl a her friend walk past me and stop around two o'clock. One of them looked at me then proceeded to do a hypnotic dance in reverse. This had me insanely confused as this girl was very attractive, as in out of my league by quite a bit. She looked good all around and really seemed to be enjoying herself. It got to the point where she made contact with my leg and for some reason I still didn't kick in.... She walked away pretty quickly after that. To this day I am left wondering wth was wrong with me that I didn't do anything about that.

Stop worrying so much about "leagues", because people like different things and value different aspects differently. For me, I don't care how much you make, I'm not attracted to muscular and fit looking guys like me (I like em with some meat on their bones), and I don't care if you have a PhD either. That's coming from a 5'10 guy who is pretty much stereotypically awesome in every way (well built body,handsome face, soon will have a graduate degree etc).

Seems like this could all have been avoided if I focused more on having fun instead of worrying about stupid things that really do not have any merit. What you're saying with the whole being open and having fun makes sense. It's hard not being a tightass though.

I think I may try the rejection thing or learn how to dance to try to boost the confidence.

Straight guys crack me up. I mean, at least you theoretically have a shot at most of the girls in this world.

Try being gay, where only 10-15% of the male population would even be potential mates, and then of those 10-15%, narrow down what people like - athletic, muscular, thin, fat, different races, different heights, personalities, tops, bottoms lol... ^_^

You guys have it easy as hell, just get over yourself, put yourself out there, and you should have no problems.

 

[MetalMat]

Smoke and bowl and got hit on chicks. I love telling chicks that I am a stunt man

 

[Soundmanred]

ean = O

 

[mrjminer]

Straight guys crack me up. I mean, at least you theoretically have a shot at most of the girls in this world.

Try being gay, where only 10-15% of the male population would even be potential mates, and then of those 10-15%, narrow down what people like - athletic, muscular, thin, fat, different races, different heights, personalities, tops, bottoms lol... ^_^

You guys have it easy as hell, just get over yourself, put yourself out there, and you should have no problems.

It sounds like you should just become bi, then you have the most options available.

 

[moshquerade]

It sounds like you should just become bi, then you have the most options available.

lol at thinking people can choose that.

 

[mrjminer]

lol at thinking people can choose that.

LOL at thinking people can't.

 

[moshquerade]

LOL at thinking people can't.

you're wrong.

why would someone choose to be gay when there are people like you around every corner ready to make fun of them and tell them they should snap out of it?

 

[destrekor]

My 2 cents worth... It is easier to get laid as you get older. It never gets easier to form a relationship. The difference between dating at 25 vs 35 is that at 35 you are a lot more realistic. At 25 you're thinking marriage and kids... At 35-40 you're looking more at mutual interest and common identity.

This is true

It may be true, but there's a small problem:
we who are around 25 are focusing on possible children in the sometime near future (at least, some of us), because we realize if we wait until we're 35 or older to have kids, our kids will have old parents a lot earlier than most children.

But at the same time, I'm not stressing relationships just yet. I've been single for awhile, had some good times dating when I was younger, but haven't even been attempting anything lately... one, because I'm not expecting to stay in this area that much longer (at least, that's my goal), and don't want to put that situation on another person who may already have a stable life here; two, I figure if I'm not actively forcing myself into dating, I'll be available if something just happens to kind of fall into my lap. Be it a new opportunity somewhere else (and packing up and leaving is very easy if single), or even stumbling into an "omg she's perfect," and she happens to dig me just as much. That's why I'm trying just to focus on having some fun when I have the time, because I think it might be better if I run into someone awesome kind of randomly like that, versus searching for it.

 

[mrjminer]

you're wrong.

why would someone choose to be gay when there are people like you around every corner ready to make fun of them and tell them they should snap out of it?

It's amazing how you are always wrong on every level anytime you post anything, yet still vehemently defend your idiocy.

1. I never made fun of gay people.
2. Gay people can "snap out of it," to use the same negatively connotated phrase you used to attempt to mask the fact that you are completely, utterly wrong.

Is it impossible for a gay person to bang someone of the opposite sex? No. Then being gay is a choice. Regardless of whatever nonsense about nature/nurture arguments are made, there is still always the possibility that someone could have sex with someone of the opposite sex; nothing prevents them from doing so. Hence, being gay is a choice. Similarly, a gay person can decide they want to bang people of the opposite sex too, and immediately become bisexual.

It may be true, but there's a small problem:
we who are around 25 are focusing on possible children in the sometime near future (at least, some of us), because we realize if we wait until we're 35 or older to have kids, our kids will have old parents a lot earlier than most children.

But at the same time, I'm not stressing relationships just yet. I've been single for awhile, had some good times dating when I was younger, but haven't even been attempting anything lately... one, because I'm not expecting to stay in this area that much longer (at least, that's my goal), and don't want to put that situation on another person who may already have a stable life here; two, I figure if I'm not actively forcing myself into dating, I'll be available if something just happens to kind of fall into my lap. Be it a new opportunity somewhere else (and packing up and leaving is very easy if single), or even stumbling into an "omg she's perfect," and she happens to dig me just as much. That's why I'm trying just to focus on having some fun when I have the time, because I think it might be better if I run into someone awesome kind of randomly like that, versus searching for it.

That's exactly what I'm doing, now. It worked for me a couple of years ago and landed me about a year-long relationship that just ended up not working out. Since then, I've just been chilling waiting for the next opportunity. IMO this is the best approach because you also don't have to waste of a lot of time hunting for chicks; you just tend to notice the compatible ones.

 

[Zen0]

you're wrong.

why would someone choose to be gay when there are people like you around every corner ready to make fun of them and tell them they should snap out of it?

Yea funny guy, I totally chose to have erections over big manly bears over cute petite smooth ladies at the tender age of puberty right? :hmm:

 

[Zen0]

It's amazing how you are always wrong on every level anytime you post anything, yet still vehemently defend your idiocy.

1. I never made fun of gay people.
2. Gay people can "snap out of it," to use the same negatively connotated phrase you used to attempt to mask the fact that you are completely, utterly wrong.

Is it impossible for a gay person to bang someone of the opposite sex? No. Then being gay is a choice. Regardless of whatever nonsense about nature/nurture arguments are made, there is still always the possibility that someone could have sex with someone of the opposite sex; nothing prevents them from doing so. Hence, being gay is a choice. Similarly, a gay person can decide they want to bang people of the opposite sex too, and immediately become bisexual.

Why don't you make the choice to bend over and have guys come over and bang you? I don't know, you might get an awesome orgasm from a cock massaging your prostate and then you can just choose to become bisexual too. That would be win win for you!

 

[destrekor]

well then... this thread just went in an interesting direction...

 

[mrjminer]

Why don't you make the choice to bend over and have guys come over and bang you? I don't know, you might get an awesome orgasm from a cock massaging your prostate and then you can just choose to become bisexual too. That would be win win for you!

I could, but I choose not to. The option, however, is available to me if I ever feel the need.

Like I said, you could easily choose to bang chicks if you wanted to; nothing is stopping you but you.

Any straight person is a potentially gay / bi person, any bi person is a potential gay/straight person, and any gay person is a potential straight/bi person.

 

[SandEagle]

you're either:
1. in a bad relationship
2. have diabetes or AIDS

 

[moshquerade]

Yea funny guy, I totally chose to have erections over big manly bears over cute petite smooth ladies at the tender age of puberty right? :hmm:

case in point.

no sense in trying to reason with someone like mrjminer though.

 

[moshquerade]

I could, but I choose not to. The option, however, is available to me if I ever feel the need.

Like I said, you could easily choose to bang chicks if you wanted to; nothing is stopping you but you.

Something is most definitely stopping a gay man from banging chicks. He just doesn't feel it. He could do it, but it would be like you going against your sexual preferences. It wouldn't actually be something you desire.

Any straight person is a potentially gay / bi person, any bi person is a potential gay/straight person, and any gay person is a potential straight/bi person.

Unbelievable :awe:

 

[mrjminer]

Something is most definitely stopping a gay man from banging chicks. He just doesn't feel it. He could do it, but it would be like you going against your sexual preferences. It wouldn't actually be something you desire.

And this makes it not a choice how?

case in point.

no sense in trying to reason with someone like mrjminer though.

It's impossible to reason with fact when all you have is fallacy.

 

[Perknose]

I get upset when I notice others sharing a seinfeld moment. Bullocks...

Allow me to embitter you more:

Bullocks doesn't mean what you think it means. The term from Brit slang is bollocks.

 

[Zen0]

I could, but I choose not to. The option, however, is available to me if I ever feel the need.

Like I said, you could easily choose to bang chicks if you wanted to; nothing is stopping you but you.

Any straight person is a potentially gay / bi person, any bi person is a potential gay/straight person, and any gay person is a potential straight/bi person.

Well you see, I can consciously make the choice to bang a chick, but then my dick won't want to become erect when the time comes. I can yell at my dick and punish it, but it doesn't seem very effective.

I'm sure you get erections just fine with the thought of another mans cock in your mouth, but choose to not suck one. :awe:

 

[SphinxnihpS]

I could never better stead thee than now. Put money in thy purse. Follow thou the wars, defeat thy favor with an usurped beard. I say, put money in thy purse. It cannot be long that Desdemona should continue her love to the Moor—put money in thy purse—nor he his to her. It was a violent commencement in her, and thou shalt see an answerable sequestration—put but money in thy purse. These Moors are changeable in their wills—fill thy purse with money. The food that to him now is as luscious as locusts shall be to him shortly as bitter as coloquintida. She must change for youth. When she is sated with his body she will find the errors of her choice. Therefore, put money in thy purse. If thou wilt needs damn thyself, do it a more delicate way than drowning. Make all the money thou canst. If sanctimony and a frail vow betwixt an erring barbarian and supersubtle Venetian be not too hard for my wits and all the tribe of hell, thou shalt enjoy her. Therefore make money. A pox of drowning thyself! 'Tis clean out of the way. Seek thou rather to be hanged in compassing thy joy than to be drowned and go without her.