Originally posted by: DrPizza
Special prep method? Well, first I'm going to walk out to the shed and select the guest of honor for Thanksgiving. Then, I'll lead him toward the house where I have my extra sharp carpet knife ready. I plan on holding onto the guest of honor, while I slit his throat to kill him. Then, I will dip him in boiling water briefly and begin removing his feathers (a pita task if there ever was one.)
Then, I'll chop his head off the rest of the way, cut him open, and remove his guts. Following a good rinsing, I'll put my wife's stuffing into the space formerly occupied by intestines, heart, etc. I'll then proceed to stick him into the oven for quite a few hours.
Then, depending on the number of guests we're planning on, I may return to the shed and repeat the process on my smallest turkey. This one will wind up in the deep frier instead. (I can't fry my bigger birds; they're too big for the frier.)
Since I'm doing all the plucking, I'll leave it to my wife to cook the sweet potatoes, numerous pies, and whatever else anyone wants with the dinner (I only care about the turkey, gravy, sweet potatoes, and pie)
Hopefully, it's the best Thanksgiving dinner we have had since we got married